Mrs. America

When I put on a red pantsuit and my husband doesn't notice,

that's bad.

So I watch my calories. That's good.

There's only 2 calories

in a big, bubbly 8ounce glass of Fresca.

No sugar. No saccharinates.

It's an honest to goodness...

...diet soft drink.

I like Fresca.

The picture from Vietnam today is way better than yesterday.

There are now four areas of...

Good evening. Schlafly residence.

Phyllis speaking. Hello. It's Ann

from Oklahoma City. Ann Patterson?

Oh! Ann, of course. Ann.

Good to hear from you. Did you have a nice Easter?

Oh, miraculous. A true Easter resurrection.

Phyllis, we did it.

We defeated the Equal Rights Amendment

in the Sooner State.

You did that.

Well, they jammed it through the Senate

with just a voice vote, no hearing,

but we were able to keep it from being passed in the House,

and all thanks to that

one little article in your newsletter.

I handed it to every legislator.

Oh, well, that's swell, Ann. I couldn't be more proud.

So now I'm thinking I should call our friends in other states

and encourage them to do the same.

It's a winnable fight.

Yes, well, in Oklahoma.

Can you send me copies of your mailing list?

Roger!

I'mI'm sorry, Ann. I am gonna have to call you back.

I have children crawling all over me.

Oh, of course. Mmhmm. all right.

Good to talk to you. Okay, then

It's taken me years to build up my mailing list.

That's my network.

You know, and the fact that Ann doesn't understand that

suggests she doesn't know a whole lot about politics.

Are those Mother's boxes?

Well, theythey go in the guest room.

No, mymy list is valuable.

I thought you said she was moving in here.

No, John might move back after graduation.

No, I'm the one who developed the arguments in my newsletter.

All she did was hand it out.

I'm supposed to let her run with it.

Well, if you're gonna run with it,

you better do it fast

before it's ratified in your home state

and you lose all credibility.

That would be an embarrassment.

I wanted to stay in St. Louis,

and you had to drag me across the Mississippi.

It's a better view of the Mississippi,

and I dragged you?

Well, you saved me.

I am gonna have to stop the ERA being ratified here.

Well, Illinois is not Oklahoma.

No, yeah, yeah, it's a long shot.

It's the home of Adlai Stevenson

and Daley's Chicago machine.

Well, youyou never know. Um, you know, the one thing

I've got going for me is the feminists think it's settled.

TheyThey're not expecting a fight.

The other thing you've got going for you is, uh,

no one likes feminists, not even liberals.

Oh, that's true.

They're no fun.

Wouldn't you attract

a wider readership if you put Jane Fonda or Lauren Hutton

on the very first cover

instead of this octopus lady with face paint?

It is not an octopus lady. It is the Hindu goddess Kali,

and those are tears streaming down her face

because she has to juggle all the demands

of her work and marriage.

If "Ms." is almost exclusively written

by, for, and about women,

isn't it as onedimensional as "Playboy"?

Is that a serious question? You don't think that's a drag?

I think "Playboy" is a drag.

Are you worried that the provocative ad on abortion

will alienate women in the middle of America?

A majority of people in this country

support every woman's right to control her own body.

Until we have that right, we can never truly be equal.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you.

Ms. Steinem! Ms. Steinem!

They were ittybitty, so I got two.

Look. Oh, Gloria!

I walked past Andy Warhol. He didn't even say hello.

You did represent Valerie Solanas.

Not that well. The girl got three years.

What did that taxi driver in Boston say to us...

Ms. Steinem... ...about if men got pregnant?

Uh... "If men could get pregnant,

abortion would be a sacrament." Oh! I couldn't remember it.

You should put a pregnant Nixon on your next cover.

I'm putting Shirley on my next cover.

I will drink to that.

Ms. Steinem, can I ask you one last question,

if you don't mind?

Uh, Betty Friedan, in a speech yesterday said,

"Gloria has never been part

"of the organized women's liberation movement.

"The media tried to make her a celebrity,

but no one should mistake her for a leader."

Any comment?

If I have a lot of problems with my being a leader

in the women's movement, I'm sure she has a lot more.

Great party, Gloria.

We can't get distracted by her.

We got a lot of momentum going into the conventions.

The candidates recognize that we're a real political force.

Even McGovern's agreed to sit down with us.

But we need a face a pretty face.

Is that my only value to the movement?

No, we need your tits and ass, too.

I don't want people listening to me

just because I have a pretty face.

I would love it if people listened to me

because I have a pretty face. Then I wouldn't have to shout.

Who cares why they're listening? They're listening.

You think Kennedy agonized over whether he beat Nixon

because of his looks? No, he thought,

"I can't believe I get to be president

and shtup Marilyn Monroe."

Can I get a photo with you? Excuse me.

We're having a private conversation.

That was one of our biggest advertisers.

You wanna make abortion legal, this is how you do it.

Play the game. Hold McGovern's feet to the fire.

Is he waffling?

He told me he believes it's every woman's personal decision.

Well, now he believes he's the front runner

and needs to move to the center to beat Nixon

in the general election.

And you wonder why I can't stand politics?

Can I get back to my party now? Go.

How you doing? All right.

Can you stay over tonight?

Yeah, but I have to leave early.

Got the kids in the morning.

You came. I even had time to bake.

Well, actually, it's leftover from Easter.

I won't tell if you won't tell.

For today's study section,

I chose Father Collins' talk from our annual conference.

It's about the Marxist revolutionaries

who instigated the Attica prison uprising.

These riots are all a part of the New Left campaign

to undermine American prisons.

The world's going to hell in a handbag.

You know, I read, uh, recently, that Angela Davis declared

that if she were free,

her first goal would be to abolish America's prison system.

For those of you who aren't familiar...

Mmhmm. Angela Davis is

the Black Panther militant

on trial for murder in California.

Yeah, so even though she has admitted to being a member

of the Communist Party, there are members of Congress

who publicly support her, like Shirley Chisholm.

And, uh, Gloria Steinem

is listed as the treasurer of her defense fund.

They're all connected, and they have so much money

and political power.

And maybe we'll devote next month's study session

to the women's liberation movement.

Could we devote this session to it?

Prisons are depressing.

I thought your newsletter on the dangers

of the Equal Rights Amendment was fantastic.

I immediately called both our senators,

but it made it through Congress anyway.

I did, too. I fear we got started too late.

Oh, it's not too late to stop it.

If the ERA is not ratified by 38 states

by March 22, 1979, it will die.

That seems like enough time.

Well, we can't let it get ratified.

Well, we do have our work cut out for us.

See, the women's liberation movement has convinced everybody

it's a bipartisan issue.

So we need to get the word out fast

that it is controversial and that we homemakers

are not being represented.

You know, we need to make some noise

and get the media to pay attention to us.

The person that everybody's paying attention to always wins.

That would be Gloria Steinem. She's famous.

They're all famous. We're nobodies.

Even if we could get a news program

to give us some air time,

who would we send on as our guest?

Phyllis is famous. Only in conservative circles.