Masters of Horror

Sorry, dad. Time for lunch.

-Hey, honey. -Hi, honey.

Well, I think we got some new neighbors moving in over at the Harper's old place.

Oh, yeah? That's good.

Maybe they'll be quieter than the Harpers were.

Coming and going at all hours of the night.

Sarah, honey, you're sitting too close to the television.

I've told you. You're gonna ruin your eyes.

You have to move back.

There you go.

When is grandpa gonna get here?

Oh, just another day or two.

So soon?

Yeah, it's not taking anywhere near as long as I thought it would.

Soup?

No. I'm fine.

You sure? It's really good.

'Cause I can...

Oh, I'll eat later.

Found another kitchen box in the bedroom.

Well, so much for labelling everything for the movers.

I fucking hate moving!

Why are you so uptight?

I don't know. I just...

What? What is it?

I just thought that I would feel different now that we've moved here,

but I don't.

I still feel unsure and... scared.

Hey, this is a new start for us,

- a new beginning. - I know. I just...

I can't help thinking

that this might all be a huge mistake.

You're just tired.

Why don't we stop for a while and go grab a bite to eat?

- A drink would be better. - Okay, how about both?

Where are we?

We're almost home.

Jeez, those two glasses of wine really put you down.

Hon, I'm not usually such a lightweight.

Well... the move's been hard on you.

What about you? You sure were sucking back those Martinis.

Liquid courage.

It's gonna be all right. You'll see.

You all right?

Yeah, I think so. Are you?

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

I can't believe that didn't wake anyone up!

Somebody had to have heard that, right?

Well, what should we do?

- Come on. - Wait, wait, wait.

I should get my insurance card.

Is anyone home or...

I don't know.

Hmm. Well, I guess I'll just leave a note, then.

Da... David?

Well, I left a note with our address on it.

It shouldn't be too hard to get in touch with us.

Well, I hope they're not too upset about this.

Well, it's a hell of a way to meet your neighbors.

That's weird.

Well, maybe the guy's a bricklayer or something.

Well, he must have gotten the

Or maybe we just dreamed the whole thing.

Uh, can I help you?

I'm David Fuller.

- This is my wife Celia. - Hi.

- Harold Thompson. - Nice to meet you.

Unfortunately, we're the ones that hit your mailbox last night.

Would you like to come inside?

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

Sure.

And...

Here we are.

- I love your house. - Thank you.

Did your wife decorate it herself?

Uh, no. I'm afraid I'm just an old bachelor.

But I did it all myself.

- Oh! Impressive. - Yeah.

If I had to decorate our place by myself,

it would look like squatters had moved in.

Cream or sugar?

Oh, I'd love some cream, thank you.

You?

Nothing for me, thanks.

So, uh, what line of work are you in?

I'm a type of independent salesman.

It's kind of hard to explain.

I guess I make hunting and fishing licenses.

Hey, that's great. I love hunting.

Maybe you could help me get a license.

I don't actually make or sell the licenses.

I develop this exotic plastic film

that the licenses are printed on.

It's really a specific line of work,

and most people don't quite get it, but...

I like it.

It allows me to work out of the house... which I love.

I couldn't agree more. I love it.

No co-workers, no bosses.

What kind of work do you do?

Investigative reporter.

Mostly freelance work.

I swear, she is part bloodhound.

She could track down the smallest lead.

It sounds like a fascinating job.

Actually, it's kind of boring work,

but sometimes it has its rewards.

- And what do you do? - I'm an ER doctor.

You must have started school very young.

No.

I'm older than I look, trust me.

- Are you already working here? - Oh, no, not yet.

I'm taking a little time off before I start over at Westfall.

Westfall? Very good hospital.

Is that what brought you two all the way from California?

Yeah. That and a few other things.

You must have family here, then.

No. Both of our parents died a long time ago.

Yeah, but we figured this would be a great place to start a family of our own.

How did you know that we came out from California?

- She is a reporter, right? - Yeah.

See? What did I tell ya?

She'll grill you, man.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's... oh...

No, no, no. I saw your license plates.

I used to live in California myself.

In the L.A. area.

You know, I'm not really sexually or emotionally satisfied.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I just said where in L.A. did you live?

- Burbank. - Mmm! That is crazy!

We lived right down the road in Studio city!

Wow. It is a small world.

I'll tell you, we are so glad to be out of there, though.

There's too much crime and traffic.

It wasn't safe anywhere.

David has a really small penis.

I bet yours is big.

Nice and thick and long, isn't it?

I would suck your cock until you came so good.

I'm a little deaf in this ear.

Oh, I... I was just saying how sorry we are about your mailbox.

You have been so nice about it.

Please, it's just nothing.

It gave me something to do.

Well, we were impressed at how quickly you fixed it.

I do get up very early.

And I had some bricks and mortar laying around.