Corpse Bride

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Here ye, here ye, 10 minutes to go till Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.

Watch it!

It's a beautiful day.

It's a rather nice day.

A day for a glorious wedding.

A rehearsal, my dear To be perfectly clear.

A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.

Assuming nothing happens That we don't really know.

That nothing unexpected Interferes with the show.

And that's why everything Every last little thing.

Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go.

- According to plan. - Our son will be married.

According to plan Our family carried.

Elevated to the heights of society.

- To the costume balls. - In the hallowed halls.

Rubbing elbows with the finest.

Having crumpets with Her Highness.

We'll be there, we'll be seen Having tea with the queen.

We'll forget everything That we've ever, ever been

Blimey! It's my dress is caught. Begging your pardon, ma'am.

Come on, dear. It's not me. It's my dress.

Where is Victor? We might be late.

Fish merchants.

- It's a terrible day. - Now, don't be that way.

It's a terrible day for a wedding.

It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in.

That has led to this ominous wedding.

How could our family have come to this?

To marry off our daughter To the nouveau riche.

They're so common -So coarse.

- Oh, it couldn't be worse. - Couldn't be worse? I disagree.

They could be land-rich, Bankrupt aristocracy.

Without a penny to their name.

Just like you and me.

Oh, dear.

And that's why everything Every last little thing.

Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go.

- According to plan. - Our daughter will wed.

According to plan - Our family led.

From the depths of deepest poverty.

To the noble realm - Of our ancestry.

And who would have guessed In a million years.

- That our daughter with a face. - Of an otter in disgrace.

Would provide our ticket To a rightful place

Oh, Hildegarde.

What if Victor and I don't like each other?

As if that has anything to do with marriage.

Do you suppose your father and I like each other?

Surely you must a little?

- Of course not. - Of course not.

Get those corsets laced properly.

I can hear you speak without gasping.

You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.

- Now, all you have to do is reel her in. - I'm already reeling, Mother.

Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?

Oh, nonsense! We're every bit as good as the Everglots.

I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.

But I've never even spoken to her.

Well, at least we have that in our favor.

Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.

Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat.

You'd think a lifetime watching us...

Might have taught her that.

- Might have taught her that. - Everything must be perfect.

- Everything must be perfect. - Everything must be perfect.

Perfect That's why everything.

Every last little thing.

Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go.

According to plan

Look at the way you're standing.

You look like you got rickets or something...

Oh!

Oh, my goodness. Oh, such grandeur! Such impeccable taste!

- Oh, beautiful, innit? - Hmph.

It's not as big as our place, dear.

- Bit shabby really, isn't it? - Shut up.

Lord and Lady Everglot...

Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort.

Why, you must be Miss Victoria.

Yes, I must say, you don't look a day over 20. No. Oh, yes.

Smile, darling, smile.

Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.

Oh, thank you.

We'll be taking tea in the west drawing room.

Oh, do come this way, it's just through there.

Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Who is your decorator?

Nice tiles, shame about the drapes.

Oh, my husband says such foolish things. Ignore him.

Oh, yes, it's usually best.

- Do forgive me. - You play beautifully.

I... I... I do apologize, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well...

Excuse me.

Mother won't let me near the piano.

Music is improper for a young lady.

Too passionate, she says.

If I may ask, Miss Everglot...

where is your chaperon?

Perhaps, in... In view of the circumstances...

you could call me Victoria.

Yes, of course. Well...

- Victoria... - Yes, Victor.

Tomorrow, we are to be m...

M... M...

- Married. - Yes. Ha. Married.

Since I was a child, I've... I've dreamt of my wedding day.

I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with.

Someone to spend the rest of my life with.

- Silly, isn't it? - Yes, silly. Ha.

No. No, not at all, no.

Oh! Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

What impropriety is this?

You shouldn't be alone together.

Here it is, one minute before 5, and you're not at the rehearsal.

Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.

Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again.

"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.

With this ring, I ask you to be mine."

- Let's try it again. - Yes. Yes, sir.

With this candle...

This candle...

This candle.

Shall I get up there and do it for him?

Don't get all aflutter, dear.

With this candle...

Continue!

Get the door, Emil.

Let's just pick it up at the candle bit.

A Lord Barkis, sir.

I haven't a head for dates.

Apparently, I'm a day early for the ceremony.

- Is he from your side of the family? - I can't recall.

Emil, a seat for Lord Barkis.

Do carry on.

Let's try it again, shall we, Master Van Dort?

- Yes. Yes, sir. Certainly. - Right.

Right. Oh, right!

- With this... This... - Hand.

With this hand...

I... With...

Three steps, three!

Can you not count? Do you not wish to be married, Master Van Dort?

- No! No. - You do not?

No! I meant, no, I do not not wish to be married.

That is, I want very much to... Ow!

Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?

The ring? Yes. Of course.

Dropping the ring.

Oh, no, he's dropped the ring!

This boy doesn't want to get married. How disgraceful!

Excuse me. Got it!

Out of the way, you ninny.

Oh, dear! Oh, my! Giddy on, a woman on fire! Help! Emergency!

- Oh, I hope it doesn't stain. - Stop fanning it, you fool.

- Get a bucket, get a bucket. - I'm on my way, dear. Yes. Oh, dear!

Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared.

Young man, learn your vows.

Well, he's quite the catch, isn't he?

Oh, Victoria.

She must think I'm such a fool. This day couldn't get any worse.

Hear ye, hear ye!

Rehearsal in ruins as Van Dort boy causes chaos!

Fishy fiance could be canned!

Everglots all fired up as Van Dort disaster ruins rehearsal!

It really shouldn't be all that difficult.

It's just a few simple vows.

With this hand, I will take your wine.

No.

With this hand...

I will cup your...

Oh, goodness, no.

With this...

With this...

With this candle, I will...

I will...

I will set your mother on fire.

Oh, it's no use.

With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.

Ah, Mrs. Everglot.

You look ravishing this evening.

What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "Dad"? If you insist, sir.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.