The Simpsons

Okay, movie's over.

The superheroes are friends again. Let's get out of here.

We can't leave before the post-credits sequence.

Why does Jeremy Renner need two assistants?

Shh. Here comes the sequence.

The Avengers were too strong for us, my Lord.

What? Who's that?

That's Spider-Man's Uncle Ben.

He was alive the whole time.

And evil.

With great power, comes no responsibility.

Finally.

What? You saw it.

That was a mid-credit scene. There's more.

Who the hell are you?

I'm assembling a team of the best

team assemblers in the world.

And I want you to help me put together that team.

Assemblers assemble!

Time. To. Go.

But there's two more credit sequences.

When I was a kid, movies ended when they ended.

The only reason you stayed for the credits

was to see who sang "The Power of Love."

And it was usually Huey Lewis.

I liked the first post-credit sequence the best.

I liked the fifth.

Pipe down. I'm trying to listen

to preseason minor league baseball.

And with the last

of the Isotopes pitchers

receiving Tommy John surgery on the mound,

that's the ball game. Good night, everybody.

Stupid baseball traffic.

I'm taking a shortcut home.

Kids, look. We used to live here before we were married.

It's the old Beef Rendering District.

Ah, yes, Tallow-town.

At the end of every factory tour,

they gave you a free glass of blood.

Huh, it's really gentrified.

Oh, a store where you grind and flavor

your own house made toothpaste.

Ooh. Mmm. Terrible.

There's our old building. Look.

Our fifth floor walk-up apartment.

Dad, you walked up five floors every day?

No. I took the elevator

to the top of the building next door,

then crawled across a plank to our roof.

Hey! I pioneered that trail!

Yeah, great. Thank you, Kit Carson.

Kids, you want to check out our old apartment?

Huh? Huh?

I can tell from your tone that we're going either way.

I have one tone.

Hi. You don't know me, but I'm Marge Simpson.

Oh, yeah, I recognize that name.

In fact, we still get mail for you.

Mm.

Ooh.

Aw.

Oh, thank God.

A list of 101 new choking hazards.

Pacifiers?

No! No.

Maggie!

Oh, here.

So can I get you anything?

Weed? Edibles?

Pudding with a joint in the center?

But we need you out by 7:00.

We Airbnb this place every night

while we stay at a cheaper Airbnb.

Mmm. Disruptive.

Before Homer and I got married, we had amazing times here.

Yeah, right.

Like you could possibly ever have fun without us.

It was a wonderful time.

- We were living the DINK life. - Dink?

Dual income, no kids. - Oh, DINK.

How come you can say dink when you're talking about your jobs,

but I can't say dink when I'm talking about my dingus.

Before we had you, life was a breeze.

We'd go to amusement parks without going

on those stupid baby rides.

Squeezing my butt into a little biplane

that only goes four feet off the ground.

Actually, Dad, it's supposed to go 12 feet off the ground.

- D'oh! - It was a great life.

We were swimming in DINKs.

See? That was the key to their happiness... no kids.

We've been talking about starting a family,

but we're just not sure we're ready.

We can't even agree on what to name our ferret.

Yeah, we both like Caitlin,

but we just, we can't agree on the spelling.

Well, we used to be just like you.

Childless and partying every night.

Hey, check out who crashed the party, Kent Brockman.

Ooh, he does the animal adoption segment on Thursday mornings.

Eh? Eh?

Yes, the biggest problem with winning

a local Humane Society Golden Pig Ear

is just staying humble.

This celebrity sighting will be the lede

for my gossip column, "Marge Madness."

- Hmm. - Ow. What are you doing?

There isn't even a dartboard.

You're Marge Bouvier?

Oh, I read your listings every week...

correct dates, very few typos, professional stuff.

- Mm. - Just steer clear

of pet shelters and fun runs, those are my beat.

Mr. Brockman, you're hurting my arm.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just care about soft news so much.

I had a job at a cutting edge new company

that would change the world.

Homer, next week we finally take our revolutionary

teeth whitening strips to market.

I couldn't have done it without you, man.

Together, we make an amazing team.

Me, with my advanced degrees in medicine, chemistry

and business, and you, with your gentle good humor.

I hear that.

I love it.

It's like I know you're not listening to me,

but I'm not mad at you.

- I'm sorry, what? - Exactly.

Buddy, whatever I make, you get a piece of.

I hear that. I mean, I really hear that.

Homer took me to the hippest spots in town.

Oh, Homie.

This is the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Hold onto it, Marge.

Hold on and never let go.

- The moment? - No, the rail!

Oh, quit resting.

We'd see classic movies whenever we wanted.

Hey, some of us are trying to enjoy the movie.

No, none of us are.

At least I died before I'm 30!

Yes, he was 47 when he made this film.

Did you two lovebirds-a know

there's a meteor shower tonight?

Homie. We should drive to the desert and watch it.

What about the kids? Oh, right, we have none.

So why can't you do stuff like that now?

Why do you think?

It couldn't be me, Booze 'n' snooze.

Why you little...

Marge!

Pick up the narrative!

We were having the time of our lives.

And then it came.

Have some num-num.

Who likes num-num?

You like num-num?

Oh, there's a meteor shower tonight.

We'll do the next one.

It's in 187 years.

Where are they coming from, outer space?

Have some num-num.

Who likes num-num? You like num-num?

Where did this beautiful man go?

Dad,

I know it was fun to be young and free,

but how could you ever replace us?

Pool table, jukebox, and a vacation to Bermuda.

Dad! Can you please get to the part

where you reassure us how glad you are we're here?

Hey, as long as I'm the pool table, I'm cool.

Sweetie, I treasure you.

But before you kids,

I used to know the names of people in bands!

And not just the singer, but the guitar guy!

And baby Bart was the worst son of a bitch you could imagine.

We were the first of our friends to have a baby,

so we got lots of attention.

- Aw. - Aw.

Aw, hey, little man. Up high.

Down low. Too slow.

Again!

All right. Up high.