Ground Floor

Three, two...

One, lunchtime!

- Yeah! - (Tori) All righty.

All right! Who's ready to hit up that new food truck again?

No, no, no. That's not a food truck.

That's a guy selling bunless hot dogs out of the back of a van.

Are you guys talking about van dogs?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah? (Laughs) - You in or you out, girl?

Um, I would love to, but Brody and I are going to lunch.

Oh, where has he been? I haven't seen that guy in weeks.

Yeah. You know, you're right, Derrick. It has been amazing.

Harvard, he's just been really busy lately.

But he's still the sweetest, most thoughtful guy... (Cell phone alert chimes)

Oh! That son of a bitch canceled on me again.

Now that it's finally over, I feel like I can tell you

I never really cared for him.

Oh, my God, you guys! He made me a video.

How sweet! (Laughs) Oh...

Oh, big deal. I could sing like that, too, if I had a good voice.

- Why is he on the toilet? Is he pooping? - No!

The bathroom's the only place he can sneak away.

Yeah, that's cool. If I sung like that, I would poop all day.

He is not pooping, okay?

His childhood dream was to be a singer,

and he even had a music teacher that told him he was good enough.

So? I had a teacher who told me I could be a model.

He even took pictures of me in my underwear to prove it.

Can you forward me that video, please?

- Yeah, me, too. I really love that song. - No, you guys, that's private.

Guys, guys, guys.

Why would a typing teacher need pictures of me in my underwear?

So van dogs.

- (Derrick) Van dogs! - We eatin'!

Oh.

Jenny, you forgot... Your phone.

Brody, say hello to YouTube.

You were supposed to forward me those numbers!

I can't forward you those numbers until Kyle forwards them to me.

- (Both) Kyle! - I can't take this anymore, guys!

Oh, this might be it.

- Oh, this is good. - Are those the numbers?

Mnh-mnh. It's something called "Potty Pavarotti."

No, you might wanna check this out.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Do not forward that, please.

No, no, no. I would never... Again.

Okay, let's go. Let's hand it over.

Oh, every... everyone's a comedian now.

All right. I understand what's going on. Oh, wonderful.

What am I doing? I'm trying to stop the Internet with my hands.

- What the hell's going on out here? - Uh, it's just a funny video, sir.

Well, show it to me. I could use a good rib tickling.

I don't think you'll like it, sir.

I wanna be tickled. Who wants to tickle me?

Mr. Wen? Mr. McCormick?

Potty Pavarotti?

- How did you... - You've gone viral, son.

And, Mr. Moyer, you have the voice of an angel.

Get me those numbers.

Season 1, Episode 5 "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

Jenny?

Well, well, well, well, well. If it isn't Depeche Commode .

New Kid on the Pot.

I suppose you're wondering who came up with the diabolical plan to spread

this virus of humiliation around the world.

It was obviously you.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.

That was a dramatic pause.

'Twas I .

Nobody cares, man.

Well, why don't you tell that to the 42,345 people

who have witnessed you at your lowest moment, turd eye blind?

Listen to this scathing comment.

- "Not bad." - Hmm.

- "Cute." - Huh.

"Where can I buy this?"

Damn it!

- Hey, babe. - Hey.

I am so, so sorry about that video.

'Twas Harvard.

- How was work? - Oh, my God. It was insane.

By 7:30, the deal was dead, so Mansfield gets on the phone to Singapore.

I get on the phone to Frankfurt.

I took a Bissell German in college. (Speaks German)

Anyway, long story long,

by the time Threepeat talked Kyle off Mansfield’s balcony,

the deal was saved, and here I am. I love my job! I love it so much!

Okay. Let's put that coffee down.

And it's empty, which would explain why you're vibrating.

Which might actually be a lot of fun for me if we were spending any time together.

Okay. Look, I-I know that I've been busy lately,

but the deal has to close by Sunday night,

and Monday's a holiday, so I will be all yours.

And I know exactly what I'm gonna do with you.

- Oh, I think I do, too. - Mm-hmm.

- Baseball game. - Sex-a-thon... Baseball game.

My Diamondbacks versus your Giants...

Just you, me, and the greatest team in the National League.

Plus the Diamondbacks will be there.

Oh, ho! Ha ha ha ha!

Your team is so getting spanked.

Oh, sorry.

Crap. That's Mansfield. Something's going on with the deal.

What's going on with the deal? What's the deal?

Oh, my God! I love my job so much!

All right, team. Bring it in. Let's take a knee.

Oh, sir, this is a new Prada suit, so... (Whistles)

Now I just got off the phone with Singapore,

and it looks like this deal is going to close.

This is a place of business. I'll tell you when you can cheer.

And you cheer!

Now we have a lot of hard work in front of us,

but when we do close, you will be rewarded.

Won't somebody cheer?

Because Remington Trust is the best damn team in this business.

Give me a cheer.

Because I'm gonna take you to see

the best damn baseball team in the business...

The San Francisco Giants...

From the best damn luxury suite money can buy,

and this is all gonna happen Monday.

Monday!

Or Tuesday works better for some people.

Monday it is!

Okay, everybody has off Monday for the holiday,

but I do need two volunteers to help keep the building open.

Oh, yeah, that's a "Hell, no" from me, okay?

I've watched too many horror movies,

and the lone black guy in the empty office building...

He's gonna die.

Hey, Tori, can you work Monday?

- Yeah. What the hell. - I'll do it, too.

Hey, you.

Oh, hey, babe. So bad news. The Giants game's sold out on Monday.

Oh, no!

But I went online and got us tickets! (Laughing)

Oh, awesome. I'm so psyched.

Now are they the best seats? No.

But are they the worst seats? Yes.

Oh. (Laughs) Wow. You wanna hear something funny?

- Yeah. - (Laughs) You're gonna laugh.

I love to laugh, so...

- So to reward us for our hard work... - Mm-hmm?

Mansfield bought the luxury suite for Monday's game. (Laughs)

It's the same game we're supposed to go to.

So are you telling me that you're gonna bail on me

on your one day off of work to spend more time with your boss?

Not now, I'm not.

Sir, can I talk to you for a second?

Whoa!

Brody, what in the hell are you doing?

I'm sorry. Your assistant told me that you were in here, so...

You're violating steam room etiquette. You understand?

You enter a steam room the exact same way you enter the world... naked.

Gotcha. So... I wanted to talk to you about the baseballs...

Uh, the baseball game on Monday.

Oh, it's gonna be a good one, isn't it?

You are a, uh, fellow Giants fan, I trust.

- The biggest. - Oh.

Now about that, I... I just gave $250,000 to the Giants' charity.

Okay, well, I have a Willie Mays bubblehead doll, so...

You know, I've been blessed with two very lovely daughters,

neither of which has the slightest bit of interest in baseball,

so it's always been a dream of mine

to have a son who might like to go to a couple games with me.

Yeah...

So funny story. You wanna laugh?

- No. - Oh, excellent. So, um...

Turns out that Jenny already bought us tickets to the same game.

That's a crime. I hope you let her down easy.

Well, I tried, but...

You know how girls get hurt when you tell them you can't do something with them?

Are you saying you...

You don't wanna go to the game with me?

No, no, of c... of course not. It's just that...

'Cause I'll be darned, it sounded like you said

you don't wanna go to the game with me.

I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying,

I haven't really spent a lot of time with Jenny recently, so...

How in God's name could you bail on your team like this?

- Come on. Don't be like that. - Don't tell me how to be.

Mr. Moyer, look.

Do you know why we work so very hard to close these deals?

- The money...? - Of course it's the money.

After the money, there's the camaraderie.

Just like when the pack gets themselves an antelope,

and afterwards, everyone celebrates.

I mean, everyone but the antelope, of course.

Just need to get a signature on these invoices.

- Why the hell are you naked? - Uh, steam room etiquette...?

- Bend over. Nice and deep. - All right.

What are you looking at?

Just something that I'll see for the rest of my life every time I close my eyes.

Quit making this weird.

Sir, I could probably talk to Jenny again.

Oh, no, you made your choice. There will be no antelope for you.

We're gonna have fun without you.