Custer of the West

CUSTER OF THE WEST

Charge!

Custer.

General.

Didn't recognize you without your horse. Sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Lincoln wants us to write personally to the widows and bereaved mothers.

- You knew Major Bridges, didn't you? - I did.

"Dear Madam, as Commanding General..."

"I had the opportunity to know your late husband, Major Bridges."

"And I was present at his death."

"It may be of comfort to you to know that he died like the coward he was..."

"with his back to the enemy, climbing a fence to get away."

- What did you write? - The usual, of course.

"He met his end unflinchingly, despite the severity of his wounds..."

"and sacrificed his life so that others might live," etc, etc.

"Philip H. Sheridan, Commanding General..."

"Army of the Potomac."

You're staying in the Army, aren't you, Custer?

I like the life. You know that.

And you want me to find a post for you. Someplace lively, interesting.

That's what I'm here for, General.

There are some Indians out west that need killing.

But that's a dirty job.

Not the sort of thing that appeals to you, is it?

No.

No, you prefer a holy war.

Save the Union, onward Christian soldiers, free the slaves.

Well, I suppose I can't blame you.

No one's gonna pin a medal on you for killing Indians and stealing their land.

What's the matter?

I'm concerned about you, son.

You're the only man I know who reached the top of his profession...

and was on his way down before he was 30.

What happens to a boy general when they don't need any more generals?

I don't know.

Tell me.

Well, I suppose the boy general could become a boy farmer or a boy bank clerk.

Or how about a cowboy?

- Oh, I forgot, you don't drink. - You didn't forget.

You didn't forget. You just keep trying.

All right.

I'll make a drunkard out of you yet.

General...

you must have something I'm right for.

I've got a few jobs here. You can have your pick.

I guess you deserve it.

Occupation, garrison in Atlanta.

A soft life.

Sort of like being a prison warden.

No.

Here's another one.

There's an arsenal up in New York State, out of service.

They won't be making any more guns.

But it's government property, so it has to be protected.

I guess somebody's gotta make sure the kids out there don't throw rocks through the windows.

No.

All right.

Here's a job as cavalry instructor at West Point.

Teaching the youngsters how to get on and off a horse.

No, General, no.

- Well, what do you want? - I want action.

That brings us back to the Indians.

They're on the land and we want it. Plain robbery.

You won't be able to tell yourself you're fighting for a noble cause.

You know there must be more than a million of them out there.

You'll be outnumbered a hundred to one.

You'll be fighting against the best light cavalry in the world.

And you'll have to chase the devils over the roughest country in the world:

deserts, mountains, prairies.

You know, Custer, you could become a living legend.

Or get yourself killed.

Dead men make better legends.

It's up to you.

You want to go west?

Mom, over here. Here I am.

Mommy, there's Daddy.

Look, there's Custer!

Libby!

Libby!

Libby!

How come they didn't name the boat after you?

Take the flowers, Libby.

Are you really a general, Autie?

You think I hired this uniform?

It's true what everyone's saying. You won the war all by yourself.

- No, I was only in 60 charges. - I know. I fought in every one of them, too.

Alone in bed every night.

You're not the only hero in the family.

Did I tell you they built a statue of you outside the courthouse?

How do I look?

Just as you did getting off that boat. 10 feet tall.

I used to go out there every day and sit beside you and knit.

And I climbed down now and then?

Where's your luggage?

On the boat.

You're going somewhere?

Dakota territory.

This time you're going with me.

Remember what the man said:

For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse.

My bags are there.

Have we got a comfortable cabin?

General Sheridan sent me a message.

This time we're enlisting together, my friend.

Miners. I warned them.

This show being put on for us?

They're telling you, General Custer.

Keep the settlers out of Indian territory or they'll handle things themselves.

You seem to understand the Indian point of view, Benteen.

Watch it!

Grab the stick, Charlie, and try to steer.

Try to steer it. Attaboy!

You're coming to a left. Turn. Push it to the left.

All right, hold it steady now.

We're coming to a right turn now. All right.

What's wrong with it? Turn it to the right!

Come on, to the right. That's it.

All right. You all right, Charlie? Watch it! Watch it! Watch it!

Do it quick! Hurry up! Hurry up! To the left.

Hold it steady, Charlie.

We're coming to a right now, watch it. Watch it. Turn to the right.

We're going over!

Hold it! All right, to the left.

Hurry up. Here we go. To the right.

Hold it now. To the left! To the left!

Right! Right!

Watch it!

Dismount the men. Prepare to fire.

The Indians are well within their rights, sir.

The treaty gives them the authority when they're on their territory.

Dismount!

Fire!

All right, the Indians are out of range. Stop wasting your ammunition.

Cease fire.

Attention.

Present sabres.

Major Reno reporting, sir. Welcome to the fort.

- Troops are ready for inspection, sir. - Thank you, Major.

I hope the parade met with your approval, sir.

- Very good. One observation. - Sir?

You only play Hail to the Chief to the President of the United States.

- I'll have that corrected, sir. - Thank you.

- Dismiss the men. - Yes, sir.

Order arms.

Benteen.

Dismiss the troops, Sergeant.

Troop dismissed.

Why did you join the Army, Captain?

Come in, Major Reno.

Just asking the Captain here why he joined the Army.

Sit down.

You're a crusader, ain't you?

You saved the Union.

Now you want to save the world. Well, that's not the kind of Army I'm going to run.

Yes, sir.

Now, Major, what made you choose the military way of life?

Well, sir, I was born into it.

I came from a long line of professional soldiers, sir.

My father fought with Andy Jackson, and my brother was at the Alamo.

Father a drunk, too?

I'd like to remind you, sir, that I'm an officer and a gentleman.

I was wondering, Major, if you come from a long line of drunkards.

By the way, that parade of yours out there...

that was the most miserable-looking parade I ever saw in all my life.

How many drinks did you have today, Major?

One or two? Can't remember?

I'll tell you why you joined the Army.

It's because the Army gave you a home.

Because, blind or sober, no matter how many drinks...

you're entitled to the salute.

You're entitled to the respect of every officer and man under your command.

Major...

there's no law that says you can't drink.

But if I find you drunk on duty...

once...

that long line of officers is gonna end right here...

with you, Major.

You like him as much as I do, Benteen.

Troop ready, sir.

- Good morning, Major. - Good morning, sir.

My orders were for a full troop, were they not?

Yes, sir. The rest of the men fell out for sick call, sir.

- Get down, will you, Major? - Yes, sir.

I think that's ridiculous.

Good morning, surgeon.

- Got an epidemic here, have you? - Malingerers, every one of them.

You mind if I have a word with your patients, if they're not too sick?

- They're as healthy as mules. - Thank you, surgeon.

- I want the cook, Major. - Yes, sir.

Now then, soldier.

- What's your ailment? - Breathing, sir.

Comes hard. My lungs, sir.

You don't too look sick to me, Corporal.

Appearances, sir. Inside, I'm rotting away.

I see you've been in the Army a long time, Sergeant.

Sergeant Buckley. 15 years, sir.

- This illness come over you sudden-like? - Yes, sir.

- Must be catching, eh? Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.

All right, cook.