Tuner

Good, next.

Good, next.

- Moving on to D. - What?

Moving on to D.

Not yet, G's not right.

Are you wearing your hearing aids?

Don't worry about my hearing aids.

You forced it too fast, it's growly. I can feel it.

Excuse me, repair guys?

This fucking...

Yes, ma'am?

The toilet's leaking. Can you fix it?

What'd she say?

I'll give you an extra hundred.

What?

She wants us to fix the toilet.

Fix... What?

She'll pay us $100 to fix the toilet.

Okay, fine, 150.

Do we look like plumbers?

No, we don't fix toilets, we're piano tuners.

We fix pianos.

Okay, 200.

Five hundred, we'll talk.

That's the ugliest fucking dog I've ever seen.

She's standing right there. She can hear you.

Hold on to the D.

I want to tell you something about tuna fish, okay?

What do you want to tell me about tuna fish?

Big tunas have much more mercury.

What? You can get sick

from having too much mercury in your body.

Did you know that?

So, I stopped eating big tunas.

You just ate a fucking tuna salad sandwich.

Yeah, I know, but sometimes we don't give a fuck.

Let's go.

It's not cholesterol you gotta worry about.

It's called, uh... Starts with an "I".

Don't worry about cholesterol, worry about...

Uh, sorry, can I help you?

Good afternoon, mum... Ma'am.

Harry Horowitz from the Harry Horowitz's Fine...

...Piano, uh, Tune and Repair.

What do you want for lunch?

I don't want dementia.

Why do people like hamburgers?

Did they have hamburgers when you were a kid?

Oh, you cocksucker.

Nobody plays the piano.

It's tragic. It still needs a tune up.

- May I say that your... - Bobby!

Bobby! Some guys are here to fix the piano.

Harry, what the fuck are you talking about?

I'm saying, you have to worry about...

I forgot the word.

- Inflammation. - Inflammation. Inflammation.

That's what they say. That's what kills you, inflammation.

Hold this.

No, like this.

- What? - My arm hurts.

Where's the nearest bathroom?

Don't walk on the lawn! What are you doing?

The lawn is a piece of shit.

I'll have an apple. Thank you.

Thanks for coming in on such short notice.

Herbie Hancock's coming in tomorrow.

You tell Herb that Harry Horowitz said

to stay away from the tuna fish, yeah?

He'll understand.

The mercury.

Don't fucking start.

I told him about the mercury.

It's inflammation.

Mind like a steel trap. You're just like your dad.

That is two minutes I'll never get back, Harry.

Anyways, on my 16th birthday,

he takes me to Birdland,

and Oscar Peterson is playing there.

And I can see him from where I'm sitting.

And I don't know what it is, but there's...

I've never seen hands play like that.

Hmm.

Except you. You had great hands.

Why don't you play?

Why don't you play me something?

Ah, I'm pretty tired, Harry.

Come on, play this old fart something.

I'm exhausted.

We're done, Harry. I'm... I finished.

Play me something.

There you go. Happy birthday.

Quit looking at me like that.

Damn it.

This was my father's favorite song.

It was the first song that I ever played off sheet music.

Damn!

Fucking arthritis, I can't play.

It's okay, sweetheart.

Eat, eat, eat.

Your soup will get cold.

Niki, pass the salt.

You don't need the salt.

You want another heart attack?

Every time I ask... Sodium.

...for salt, you say, "You don't need salt."

I know you're doing it for my benefit. Thank you.

Did you go for burgers today?

- What? - Did you go for burgers today?

Of course not! We had a salad and carrot juice.

I squeezed it myself.

- You blended yourself? -Yes.

Right in the store? Yes.

Did you go behind the counter and say,

- "Let me blend the carrots?" -No, I squeezed it.

-Where are your hearing aids? - What?

Where are your hear...

I'm sorry, Niki. Did he have his hearing aids today?

Don't answer her, just pass the salt.

No, no.

You don't need the salt, but what you do need

is that you better find your hearing aids,

because if you need new ones, we have to pay out of pocket.

Do you understand that?

I know where they are. They're in the safe.

What? Why would you put them in the safe?

I accidentally put my watch in the bathroom,

and my hearing aids in the safe.

- It was a mistake. - Okay, so go get them.

-I can't. - Why?

-It won't open. - The safe?

I can't remember the combination.

It's our wedding anniversary!

I changed it.

You changed it? Yes.

Okay. What did you change it to?

- I don't know. - You don't know.

You make it sound intentional.

It'll come back to me. It was a good number.

Better than our wedding anniversary?

H-ee, how can you do your work without your hearing aids?

It's not about hearing, it's about...

...a feeling.

Oh, pardon me. I almost forgot.

- It's about feeling. It's... -Yeah.

It's all about feeling.

Yes. Feeling, feeling. Excuse me.

You need your hearing aids. Let me see the safe.

Niki, I tried Marla's birthday,

I tried my birthday, your birthday,

your dad's birthday, I tried Dizzy Gillespie's birthday.

You are losing your marbles!

Why are you on my back? I make one mistake.

We should call the lock guy.

Who? Marty Fitzgerald.

Marty Fitzgerald's dead, but go ahead and try him.

Okay, Niki, smash it open. Just smash it open.

No, don't smash it open!

Honey, it's a 1,000 years old. Come on, smash it.

It's a perfectly good safe!

It's not perfectly good anymore.

It's two inches of steel. It's not really smashable.

- I can take it home... - Yes!

Take it home? Forget it, it's too heavy.

- Let him take it home. -It's too heavy!

- Harry! -He can fix anything.

Nik, Harry has a doctor's appointment

tomorrow at noon in the city,

so you're gonna have to handle Shafitz on your own.

Whatever you don't get through tomorrow, don't worry.

You'll... You'll finish it on Wednesday.

Yeah.

Oh, and there's that house call in Alpine.

Yeah, yeah, I'll be there by 4:00.

I'll let them know. Get over here.

Nik?

Have you been smoking?

No.

Oh, how do you crack it?

You can hear where the contact points are,

even when the safe is locked, right?

So, to a skilled safe cracker,

this is actually detectable

using touch and hearing.

The difference is in the sound and feel.

When the fence grazes these contact points,

it's so subtle that they're basically imperceptible

without special equipment.

That's why it takes a trained professional with sens...

...but with patience and practice.

What we're listening for is for the gate and the tumblers

to make the slightest contact with the fence.

And now what we want to do is keep going.

And you want to go slow and steady.

The composition students are preparing

for the year end showcase.

When the pianos aren't pitched perfect,

everyone gets testy.

Start with the main stage.

Sorry.