Good Girls

Girls today can be anything.

CEO, Olympic golden medalist,

even a Supreme Court Justice.

We've finally broken that glass ceiling

and, wow, it sure looks good from the top.

- Ah! - Stop!

Hey, go brush your teeth. Wipe her face.

Did you find your homework? And you, my little friend, you need pants.

Mom, can I stay home from school today?

Nobody's staying home.

-I feel sick. -What hurts?

My spleen.

Specificity is good, but that's over the top.

Next time, try tummy.

It's go time. Let's go.

Okay, everyone's going to school. Mommy has something important to do.

Oh, look.

Guys, look. Daddy's on TV again.

So what are you waiting for? A pig to fly?

All right, let's go. Line up. Train's a-leavin'.

-Love you. Love you. -Bye.

-Bags in the back. -Love you.

Love you.

Love you.

Tuna fish. Keep it in the fridge.

Stop, stop, stop. Mom.

You make your dad drop you off all the way back here?

I don't know.

What's the girlfriend drive?

Porsche Turbo.

Oh! I'm so sorry. Did you need this?

Love you, Sadie.

Can I have lunch money?

Ugh, come on. Did those kids take it again?

God, those douchebags. That was a 20.

Well, small price to pay for the bone structure of my face.

That's very true.

I don't wanna leave you without cash.

Excuse me, who is the adult here?

Don't answer that.

So, why aren't there any of these awesome women in my history book, huh?

I'll tell you why.

Sister made the mistake of getting her period.

They say, "Behind every great man, there's a great woman."

Well, I say that's some bull right there.

Well, none of these nasty women I just told you about

stood behind men.

- -They stood right beside them.

So, we gotta get it done ourselves, ladies.

Am I right?

You get it, girl! You get it!

-We're gonna burn this patriarchy down! -Whoo!

Ain't nobody gonna stop her?

Okay.

Okay, I'm out of here.

What's going on? You got an early shift?

Um...

I figured, you know, we could use the extra.

Mmm, I figured the same thing,

'cause I'm about to pull a double at the mall.

I'll make it work.

-You always do, boo. -I do.

I cannot believe you.

Chill, sis. I'm, like, two minutes late.

How was Sara's thing?

Oh, she was so good.

She's so smart. I worry about mine.

Stop it.

All right, you all ready for this?

- -Now or never.

Let's do it.

All right! Everybody be cool, and nobody gets hurt!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a robbery!

-Oh, my lord! -

Maybe we don't have to do the full Brazilian.

Oh, a Brazilian would put you in the hospital. This is just brush control.

Yeah, I probably don't get in here as much as I used to.

No.

My husband and I aren't having a lot of S-E-X right now.

Maybe he just can't find it.

Kids are back to school. I'm swamped. He's always working late.

Plus, there's so much on the DVR.

It's really kind of hard to schedule--

- -Ow!

Okay.

Mrs. Boland? Your card was declined.

Are you sure?

I ran it twice.

I'm sure he just forgot to pay the bill. He's been very distracted lately.

Hey, there. Amber here, over at Boland Motors.

We've got Chevys. We've got Fords. We've got Chryslers, too.

Have we got the car for you?

Do you think I could make it in LA?

Mmm. Mmm-hmm.

It's not like Michigan. They have really good actresses there.

You're gonna win one of those fancy awards.

Like a People's Choice.

I don't need all that. I just wanna be super famous.

So, come on down to Boland Motors,

where we'll put the vroom, vroom, vroom back in your engine.

Annie Bananie. Hey, you, uh, you got any plans later?

My church is having a "bring a friend" night.

You know, I'm just not really much of a church person.

You're definitely a stuck-up bitch.

I'm just kidding you.

Now, see, the old me totally would have meant that.

But, uh, you know, born-again Boomer don't judge.

This, uh, came from your register last night.

Know what it is?

Mmm. This is a tough one. It's a curling iron?

We in the biz say "counterfeit."

Now, see, I know it's counterfeit because I use the pen.

Did you use the pen?

Boomer, I don't remember if--

I'm guessing you didn't, because if you had,

you would have known it's counterfeit. Which is why we have the pen.

So, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to dock this from your paycheck.

Whoa, whoa. Wait.

Boomer, that's, like, a whole shift for me.

Well, maybe next time you'll take security more seriously.

Oh, come on. What security?

- -

Excuse me, how much longer is the wait? 'Cause we've been...

What I'm most concerned about right now is Stella's kidney function.

Sara.

-What? -You said "Stella." Her name's Sara.

Okay, so, what about her kidneys?

One is failing. The other one's right behind.

I would suggest that we put Sara

on a list for a transplant as soon as possible.

Carla, you just can't throw files like this.

We just got ten walk-ins.

-I've been doing some reading. -Okay.

'Cause she can barely make it through the school day right now.

It's all willy-nilly over there.

-She can barely... -Okay? No.

...make it through the day, let alone soccer.

You might wanna keep her home and get a tutor.

Are those last week's blood draws?

Well, my husband and I work all the time...

-Here, Carla. -...so we can't.

-And... - Take them all away.

And the transplant lists can take months, right?

Separate. Thank you.

-And there's this new drug... - Thank you.

-...that just got approved... -Take everything out.

Oh, my God! Can you please just listen to me for one damn minute?

Shame on you.

Shame on all of you.

Eculizumab.

That's the name of the drug you're talking about?

-Yes. -It does.

It improves renal function dramatically.

It's also ten grand a month out of pocket.

And I'm guessing that may not be an option.

Well, I'll talk to my husband. We might be able to swing it.

Okay.

And she was only halfway through my wax.

So, what happened?

Well, now I'm very uneven.

- I don't even wanna know. -

Dean maxed out their credit card at some lingerie store.

Do you think he's sleeping around?

Don't nobody want Dean. It's a Christmas gift.

In October?

Maybe it's your anniversary present.

He already gave me 100 coupons to Bed Bath & Beyond.

Ew. Really?

Son of a bitch.

No, I really do love it there.

No. That old guy is stealing your tip.

He can't even walk.

-Go get it. -

Shady SOB.

-Huh? Mmm-hmm. - Shady.

At my old job, we got robbed all the time. So I got the sixth sense now.

Are you serious?

I mean, it's no big deal.

All the stores I work at eventually get hit.

-You could get shot. -Ugh. One can hope.

These guys, they don't want to hurt anybody.

They just want the money. So we let them have it.

Nobody's trying to be a hero.

-Do they get caught? - Yeah, the dumb ones do,

'cause they park in the front by the security cameras.

You gotta put your getaway car in the back by the loading dock.

And you never dick around with the registers.

The real money is back in the vault.

You've really worked this out.

Just keeping my options open.

How much is in the vault?

Thirty grand, give or take.

Damn, I could use that money.

Oh, my God. Me, too.

So, when you wanna do this?

Well, I already bought three automatics and filed off the serial numbers.

So, really, name a day.

You should see your face.

It's whiter than usual.

I'm gonna need you to all get on the ground.