Ingrid Bergman: In Her Own Words (Jag är Ingrid)

April, 1928.

My God, help Dad.

Dear God, you can do anything.

So please make Dad well.

Make me calm.

God, I beg you, help me. And make Dad well.

God in heaven,

amen.

DIARY

In ten minutes, it will be 11:30 PM.

All the candles are burning.

Everything is so beautiful.

I feel sad.

I want to write everything down that happened to me in 1929.

I didn't do well at school.

Failed three subjects.

Dad fell sick.

I traveled alone to my aunt in Germany.

And Dad died.

My friend Maude died. Grandpa died.

Uncle Amandus, Aunt Jenny and a cousin died in an accident.

That's all I remember.

All I wish for now is a happier new year.

What will the new year bring?

New York...

I am Ingrid.

This is my story.

Looking back on my life, who will I see?

What will be left?

I've always saved everything.

Filled all kinds of boxes and suitcases.

So I'll always have my memories with me.

Well, I started off in Sweden.

Then I came to America.

My American period was ten years in Hollywood.

Then I went to Italy — eight years in Italy.

Then I went to Paris and lived there for 20 years.

And now I live in London. It's interesting because...

- But do you feel without roots? - Yes.

- Because of... Do you? - Yeah, I don't want any roots.

- Why? - (chuckles)

I want to be free. (laughing)

- You don't think they're necessary? - No.

Only a few members of my family knew I was leaving.

My friend Mollie and darling Petter waved me off from Bromma.

I flew to London, then sailed to the Hollywood dream factory.

I signed up for five years with Selznick International Pictures,

United Artists, Hollywood.

Darling Mollie,

you were so sweet, waving like two mice at Bromma.

Thank you for coming, Mollie.

You helped us ease the pain of saying good-bye.

This trip is an incredible experience.

From Bromma to Hollywood.

Look after Pia and Petter.

Last night, a man at the table said to me,

"You'll never be an actress. You're too tall."

I said to myself,

"He knows nothing about me."

Spring has arrived in Råsunda, at the Swedish cinema studios...

Today I was a film extra.

It felt wonderful passing those gates.

It felt like walking on holy ground.

Everyone was talking about theater and films.

It was my first time, but I hope I'll get to do it many more times.

Do you have the photo?

She's sticking out of the line

And that always touched me. You could already see

that this is a child that, you know, lost all her family.

But you can see already that —

Life is great. It's full of adventure.

You went to theater school. How did you end up in cinema?

At the end of my first year at theater school,

during the summer holidays, I recited poems to Karin Swanström,

and she hired me for the film Munkbrogreven.

I suppose you'll be back late?

No, just going out for some fresh air. Why?

Take the front door key.

So you don't wake up The Beast if you come back late.

Thanks. Evening.

Good night.

I left that splendid theater school to enter the world of film.

I should feel grateful to have been on stage so young.

But I love the freedom I feel in front of the camera.

I hope I've not made a mistake, and that one day I'll be a great actress.

Can I say that you look pretty this evening?

Am I not pretty every evening?

Sure. But there is something extraordinary tonight.

There's a rumor I'm the biggest talent around.

My classmates have no work, and the studios are fighting for me.

It scares me to think about it.

I hope I don't disappoint them.

I've made ten films in five years.

Major roles — Intermezzo, Swedenhielms and Dollar.

I hope I've not become vain.

I'm lucky to have Petter.

What would I be without him?

My sweet darling, my everything on earth, my one and only love.

Only five hours before I see you, and 11 days until our wedding.

How will I cope?

If only I could kiss you, really kiss you, time and time again.

Say you'll never leave me.

I'll never leave you.

I never had the intention of staying in Sweden.

That I knew since the beginning.

It was too far away and too small a country.

I wanted to go to big places, and I had in mind...

I knew I was going to go out —

I wanted desperately to get out in the world.

- You look nice. - Easy for her. She's doing well.

What did you say?

- You've got a good position. - Say that again. I have what?

Are you gonna worry us too?

What do you mean? I'm sick of my work. Every day, eight hours of drawing...

It was just a question of to go to a new country

and work in a strange language.

A language that was not mine.

That was the little bridge that would bring me over.

Lots of people were scared.

Not just in the studio, everywhere.

My German colleagues were worried about what was going on in the country.

Petter met me after the shoot. We set off on a trip around Europe.

I always have my camera with me.

I love to film.

I got that from Dad.

He filmed me. Now I film the world.

Sometimes Petter films, but it's mostly me.

September 22, 1938.

Petter and I have had a little girl.

We want to call her Pia —

Petter, Ingrid, Aron.

The heart of the film world had contacted me a couple of times,

but this time I accepted.

David O. Selznick, the producer of Gone with the Wind,

wants me to be in a new version of my big success Intermezzo.

Selznick's agent here, Kay Brown,

found a diva who'd just given birth.

She said they'd wait however long it took, as long as I still want to go to America.

You bet I do.

America. At last.

I was driven to Selznick's house. Here I'm to stay.

His wife, Irene, greeted me.

Then David Selznick arrived.

He sat, looked at me, praised my English, then left.

The Selznicks threw a party. I was guest of honor.

I sat there alone, in my old pink dress with puffed sleeves.

It is very elegant.

I watched people arriving.

Clark Gable, Joan Bennett, Cary Grant, Gary Cooper.

I was so happy I couldn't speak.

To think that I, a girl from Stockholm,

was here, surrounded by film stars.

Selznick, 13.

Quiet, please.

I have hopes of winning a scholarship.

I see.

They have difficult examinations.

I have taken mine. (chuckles) Just today.

- Today? - Yeah

Well, this is a great occasion. What are we drinking this for?

Waiter, bring champagne. The best vintage of the best brand in your cellar.

- Champagne? - Of course.

To drink to your future as an artist. You're quite right.

You don't want to be anybody's shadow.

- But I didn't say that. - I know you didn't. I'm saying it for you.

You must set the world on fire.

Ah, you are laughing at me.

Shouldn't one laugh at the sight of bright, young confidence?

Oh, here comes the champagne.

And I'm not used to it.

Cut.

Dear Mollie,

I've met two fantastic women who will help me in Hollywood.

Ruth Roberts, a voice coach, is going to teach me to speak perfect English.

And Irene Selznick,

who's helping me understand this strange but incredibly exciting environment.

Kiss Pia for me. I miss her so much.

I'm coming home after the shoot.

I had the fortune of meeting Ruth the first day on the set.

And she was an absolute excellent teacher for the English language.

And then, being of Swedish descent, understood maybe my character

and knew how to show me America,

how to teach me, not only the language,

but maybe the feeling and the thoughts, and, you know...

I am so grateful to her, because she has shaped me — (chuckles)

to what I am today very much.

A great deal of her is in me.

From Sweden, you took, uh — Your first husband went with you to —

From Intermezzo, I went back to Sweden to do the picture I had signed up to do.

And then the war started and Selznick asked me to rush over.

I took my little girl with me.

He stayed on in case he had to maybe go in to the war, be needed.

And then as Sweden didn't get into the war, he came over later.

I am so happy we're all together again.

All together in America.

I didn't go to Hollywood with my mother.

I stayed with my father in Rochester, New York.

He was going to medical school

while my mother was making movies in Hollywood.

And she would occasionally come to visit,