SkyFly

I think he's fuckin' with us again.

All units,

pursuit in progress...

Oh, fuck. Fuck. Goddammit.

Driver, off the bike! Hands above your head.

Get on your knees, you fuckin' dickfur!

I'm the one that just got arrested.

You know, it's been said I live in a bit of a fantasy land.

You know, it is kinda something I've always wanted to do.

To tell you why I really ran,

we're gonna have to go back a tad.

Hey, where are you going?

Wow, you have an accent.

I guess I'll let myself out?

There's bagels, if you're hungry.

But there's no cream cheese.

Danny! -How we doing, baby, huh?

-I'm alive and healthy. -That's what I like to hear, sir.

That's what I like to hear.

I got something for you.

Aha!

A man after my own taste.

Huh?

- Stay cool, Danny. - You know I will, baby.

Such a rock star.

Hi! What can I get you?

Uh, nine shots of espresso, on ice. Please.

Sorry. Um

can we give one person nine shots of espresso?

I do it, like, all the time.

Okay.

Do you have a pen?

Um...

Yo. Here my 360, bitch. It's already rolling.

Do it again!

Did you get it?

I like the thumbs-up, brother, it's very Travis Pastrana.

And he's the man.

And that's a pretty normal morning for me.

What do you say we meet the key players, yeah?

That's Carl. Without those glasses, that dude is fuckin' blind.

Honestly, I don't know if he even likes me,

but we're basically family by skydive law at this point.

That's Mickey. Weird dude. Huge cock.

All I know is he used to do lots and lots of drugs,

but he's sober now. Also, all of our favorite movies

happen to include Andy Dick.

That's K-Dew. We actually grew up together,

and she is badass.

Like, do-not-fuck-with-her for-real badass.

And y'all remember this Brazilian beauty, right?

That is Thiago.

Best damn parachute packer on the map.

Dude loves to give me a hard time,

but I know he loves me,

and I sure do love him.

Bro, you're almost as bad at rollerblading as you are at skydiving.

Well, I think you have to skydive to be a skydiver.

Fuck you, Carl.

Come on, come on, come on. My guy's a skydiver.

He's just waiting for another hair on his balls to sprout out.

Isn't that right, D-money?

Somebody had to use

his backup parachute.

-That's karma. -Oh, that jump was with you, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah. I remember it like it was yesterday.

But you're gonna have a malfunction!

What? Why would you say that, Danny?

You always gotta be ready, baby!

You know, Thiago's the one that packed my parachute that day.

-I'm still pretty sure he's trying to kill me. -Trust me,

if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead.

I'm Brazilian, bro.

It was just a regular cutaway, D-love.

Why are you being such a bitch about it?

Thank you for the kind words, K-Dew.

I really appreciate it. I'm just a little shook by it,

-that's all. -Little shook? That was, like, a year ago.

It was a year and 11 months ago.

Thank you, Carl.

What's up, pussies?

- You wanna fight, Blake? - Oh. Whoa.

We're just teasing, baby boy.

Wouldn't want anyone getting hurt.

Yeah. Wouldn't want anyone

physically or mentally unable to skydive.

-Right, Danny? -You two little bitches want something?

Honestly, I just miss beating you guys.

And since your team didn't join the free fall competition

again this year due to your almighty leader

over here,

I figured I'd extend an invitation to a friendly

roller hockey tournament my home drop zone puts on every year.

You know, the one I own.

You mean the one your daddy owns?

- Ooh-ooh. - Oh!

Well, it's gonna be his.

You know, we noticed

your graceful rollerblading earlier,

and we thought maybe you play.

You know, that's funny. I've heard of this, uh,

little roller hockey tournament, and you're fuckin' on.

Bro, I don't have Rollerblades or money to get any of that shit.

Like, I'm really scared to do that kinda shit, Danny.

These are usually early morning games, right?

Correct.

Yeah, Danny, I haven't seen you

waking up before noon since high school, so...

Well, luckily, I... -Shut up, Carl.

Well, it's been real.

And it's been fun.

But it hasn't been real fun!

Oh, my God, we did it!

We got it!

Let's get the fuck outta here.

Really?

Damn. They fuckin' plan that or what?

No. Fuck that guy, Danny. Guy's got his shirt off

and it's, like, 70 degrees out.

-Stupid ass motherfucker. -Come on, bro. Time to get ready

for your sober party tonight, huh?

Oh, fuck.

What?

I just sent a dick pic to the wrong person.

I was trying to send it to this girl I just met, Michelle,

but I accidentally sent it to Michael... at the office.

A girl you just met?

Does Michael have your number saved?

Oh, it doesn't matter. He's gonna know.

Why don't you just change your number?

No, you don't get it. It was a delfie.

A delfie?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm. Delfie.

Fuck, he'll probably just be impressed.

Probably.

Hey, Carl!

Michael just sent me a photo

I'll never be able to unsee.

I hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds.

Yeah, I will enjoy your sloppy seconds.

God, he's so good at comebacks. Fuck!

Are you gonna be butt hurt all night, Danny?

I can't believe none of you fuckers dressed up!

You proclaimed this was a theme party last night

while you were hammered.

How are we supposed to take you seriously?

K-Dew, you of all people should know,

if I'm ever talking about costumes,

dressing up, Halloween, I'm fuckin' serious.

At least Thiago's wearing short shorts.

-Here we go again. -What?

When I met you, you said to me,

"You've got some nice quads, bro.

We should hang out sometime."

You've got great quads, brother.

It's okay if you're gay, bro.

Just own it.

Yeah, okay. I'm gay.

If the penguins' "population" is rapidly "decreasing"

due to "global warming."

Danny, the penguins' population is rapidly decreasing