Amityville in the Hood

Ben, what are you doing?

Stop it!

Let me go!

What are you doing?

Stop!

Shh, shh, shh.

Abby, we must complete the legacy.

You,

you are the final sacrifice for Beelzebub,

the Lord of the Flies.

No!

Get back here!

This house is fucking blessed.

What happened?

What's going on?

Let's get out of here.

In the name of Satan,

ruler of the Earth, king of the world,

I command you sow your infernal power on me.

Open wide the gates of Hell,

and come forth to greet me as a brother and friend.

In your name, I ask that you curse this devil for us,

placing your only attack on it,

possess the souls of those who assume.

Oh, hear thy names,

Yorthog, Behemoth, Anuk, Belial,

render me the indulgences that I speak.

Keep this Amityville curse alive

and keep the world hold over it.

I command you, I command you.

So it is done.

It's in here.

Follow me.

Oh, hell no.

This place is spooky as fuck.

Ay, ain't this where that crazy ass white kid

killed his whole family?

Nigga, you better get your ass up

in this motherfucking house.

Mucking around with my fucking time and shit.

Shit.

Goddamn, that's a group of motherfucking weed.

Shut the fuck up, stupid.

We don't got all motherfucking night.

Get to picking.

Say, get to picking, get what you can take.

You gotta be the clumsiest motherfucker

I ever met in my life.

Shit.

Dumb ass motherfucker.

Now I'm about to roll the fattest joint

in the whole history of joints.

What I tell you?

What I tell you?

Well, well, well, what the fuck do we have here?

Looks like two dead ass little bitches, if you ask me.

Look, man, we don't want any trouble.

You see, that's just too fucking bad, nigga.

Your little homie, Marcelo,

still owes me some fucking gwat,

and, well, he ain't been around a while.

So you see,

since that little cunt face has been AWOL and shit,

I'm just gonna have to take what I'm owed

from his two fucking associates.

Oh, oh, man.

We don't even know Marcelo that fucking well.

Shut the fuck up, man.

I got this.

Oh, you got this, do ya?

You hear this, fellas?

This ol' motherfucking bitch think he got this.

Why don't you tell me what's in that bag right there.

Now, this?

Oh, this ain't what you think, man.

This ain't shit.

Oh, I think it's exactly what the fuck I think it is.

Now hand the fucking shit over.

Nah, man.

I can't do that, man.

We need this.

I got bills.

My baby mama would kill me, man.

Oh, she's gonna kill you, is she?

She's gonna kill you?

Not if I fucking do it first.

Oh, shit.

Fuck you.

No,

fuck you.

Yo, yo, what you doing here all dressed up like that?

Like motherfucking Little Mermaid and shit.

Oh, you must be new.

I'm Cheyenne.

Your motherfucking boss called my boss

to come over to here to this dump of a club

to give him an hour of tug and chug,

if you know what I mean, Mongo, mmhmm.

Mongo?

My name's Rosco, okay?

Rosco.

Rosco, Mongo, Yolo, whatevers.

Look, can we make this quick?

'Cause I just got stiffed on my last job.

I gotta say something.

You're looking pretty fine

in a whole kind of way, I'll tell ya.

How abouts this?

After you're done with Mr. Big M in there,

do a little slurp off, you know?

Maybe you, uh,

maybe you wanna take a two,

two for one, maybe, hm?

Hey, hear me out, hear me out.

Make up for that loot you lost on the last job.

Ew.

You?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am a classy bitch.

Well, you best remember that

when you walk through that goddamn door second, you hear?

Big M exudes motherfucking class, okay?

He demands perfection.

Only the best of the best walk through that goddamn kingdom.

Then what are you doing here, Rocco?

The name's Rosco, okay?

And I'm Big M's number one.

His number one.

Listen, if I have time, I'll throw you in for like, $20.

Deal?

20?

How about 10?

10, and then, hear me out.

Big M don't pay me 'til...

Oh, it's next Friday, it's bi-weekly, it's the off week.

But, but...

And I got rent on Wednesday,

and my benefits are coming overnight on Tuesday

so I'm thinking 10.

20.

And you better make it fast.

Oh, and don't nut in my wig, okay?

You look like the trash that would do something like that.

Bitch, I...

Okay, 10.

10 sounds good, I like 10.

20.

Fine, $20.

I'll go run to the ATM when you're in there with Big M

getting his ol' mouth hug, okay?

What, what, excuse, what, what, uh...

Did you drive here?

Yeah, why?

Why, hear me out, baby girl.

I figures, since you driving and I just gave you $20,

after our little slurp off you give me,

you go drop me off at my parents' house.

It's only in Compton, it's not far away,

so maybe you could give me a little ride.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want me to blow you

and then give you a ride to your parents' house for $20?

Bitch, it's a motherfucking condo, okay?

Get it right.

Look,

it's 20 American dollars, okay?

That's 20.

What you're doing to that lollipop, love,

that's worth 10, the most.

10.

Shit.

I'm a hardworking motherfucker,

I need any break I can get, alright?

Shit.

I never get what I want.

Fine, okay.

Fine, fuck it.

Now you gonna let me in?

Or we gonna make let's-make-a-fucking-blow-job deal

all night?

Okay, Pocahontas, we'll let you in here.

Come on, let's get started.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

And it's gonna be 25

if you don't keep your mitts to your fucking self

- and stop touching my shit. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Chill, bitch, chill.

I want the five open here, okay?

Shit, just bring it down, alright?

We'll bring it in,

just fucking bring that shit back, come on.

Come on, get inside, let's go.

Let's go.

Big M, I got somebody for you here.

Ah, now that's some good shit.

That's really some fucking good shit.

Excuse me, you guys want some?

You missing out.

It really is some good shit.

But I always dig this shit.