Tiger & Dragon (タイガー＆ドラゴン)

DONKICHI

Let me tell you a silly story.

When two rivals compete against each other,

it is called "dragon versus tiger."

But when you think about it, it doesn't make sense.

A dragon is an imaginary creature. No one has seen it.

But a tiger can be found easily. You can see one at the Ueno Zoo.

A tiger and a dragon can't compete because they live in two separate worlds.

This is a story between such a tiger and a dragon.

"Hey, Tora!"

Tora! Toraji!

Tora!

Tora!

Do you hear me?

Toraji! Tora!

Toraji!

Toraji! Tora!

Toraji! Tora!

Toraji! Answer me!

Answer me! Toraji!

Toraji, answer me!

I'm sorry. I was too late.

He's with his woman and kid. They're all dead.

I think they took pills and sniffed gas.

Brother!

Ambulance! Call 119!

Yes!

The kid is alive.

One more? You mean, Yasuo?

I haven't gotten him yet.

Since he swiped our funds, we should chop off his finger.

Use normal language.

Should I go find him and cut his finger off?

No. Your work's done today.

How is the young master?

His spirits are low.

Feed him a good meal.

He loves curry, so any curry will do.

Got it.

This is Toraji Yamazaki. Oh, I'm sorry for the intrusion.

As you can see, he's a yakuza, and he has his troubles.

Young master, would you like some curry?

Seeing that on your first day on the job. It's enough to spoil your appetite.

Please don't be so polite.

I can't do that.

You may be my little brother now,

but you are the group's heir.

And stop calling me young master. It doesn't do me good.

Sorry.

Then I'll stop at 6 p.m.

What troubles him is this atmosphere.

He wants people to relax when they're with him,

but Toraji here is not a good speaker.

So even before he starts to speak,

he gets nervous, and eventually,

he just clams up.

Because he looks so scary when silent, no one dares to talk to him,

and the silence goes on forever.

Brother?

Brother?

Oh, that's me. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The second "sorry" was for being polite

and saying sorry to you after 6 p.m.,

so that's different from the first "sorry." I'm sorry.

I just remembered a funny story about curry.

What?

Well, it might not be very funny.

Want to hear it?

Sure.

Yesterday or the day before,

I went into a curry shop in Harajuku or Omotesando.

Only a group of middle-aged women

and a young punk were in the shop.

I was resting and was about to leave…

When ding-dong! Guess who came in?

This is Ryuji. He's the dragon.

He's all talk.

Death Kiyoshi, former vocalist of Death Romantic.

Really?

Sorry, I'm not into rock.

Not rock! Death rock! All the members are named Death!

I covered them in high school.

I will leave everyone half dead

Death, death, romantic!

Won't let them live, won't let them die

Death, death, romantic!

But he had parted hair and wore an electrician's uniform jacket.

Electrician?

How many times must I tell you? Don't wear boots to work!

They're Death boots!

Who cares!

Everybody could hear him being scolded,

but nobody knew he was Death Kiyoshi of Death Romantic.

There were only Indians, middle-aged ladies,

and a yakuza who must have a big dick.

I wasn't really interested, but as I was listening,

it came.

Who?

Not who. What was it?

-None… -You mean, naan?

Then the curry was served,

but neither one of them touched it.

Why?

I don't think the boss has had naan before.

No way!

I bet I'm right!

So he doesn't know how to eat it.

And Kiyoshi's just been scolded, he's feeling so down he can't eat.

Enough. Eat it up!

So the boss began to gobble up the curry

and lectured him again

as he sweated like a candle.

Your voice is too small!

And to think you were a rock star.

Then…

You're a musician, aren't you?

Which one?

Um… I forgot.

I remembered! Hiroshi of Mass Communication, right?

It's Kiyoshi!

Get me a pen!

"They're yelling 'pen, pen.' Then…"

I've got one!

Thank you!

Anything to write on?

Too bad I didn't have any paper with me. But then…

Here!

You're kidding!

I'm serious!

He autographed the naan?

Kiyoshi probably couldn't argue after all that scolding.

Why don't you get one, too?

Thank you! This is great!

And so I got that!

"To Dragon Soda."

"Kiyoshi of Death Romantic."

What you're saying is

he autographed a naan, because they had no paper?

Yeah.

So who was that electrician?

That's not important.

He had no paper to sign on

and autographed a naan. That's the funny part.

That's not very funny.

Sorry, I didn't get it.

I guess there was supposed to be a joke in there.

But the story was too long, I gave up.

I didn't find it funny. Sorry.

No, it's my fault. I didn't tell it right.

I wouldn't have laughed anyway.

Sorry, I'll go catch a movie before I go home.

There's "none" to autograph.

Autograph a naan!

Whoa!

And now we're done with the introductory small talk.

Now, here is the main story.

Tiger and Dragon!

Hey Ginjiro.

-Yes? -Isn't Asakusa part of the old downtown?

It is.

Isn't it where lively Edo natives hang out?

What the heck?

It's just old folks and tourists. Nothing lively here.

Where are you from?

Yokosuka City, Kanagawa.

That's cool.

Ever been there?

Nope.

And yet you wear a jacket from there?

Well, it makes me look like a junior yakuza.

Says who?

Me…

Well, the stylist inside me.

Was that a joke?

Yes, it was.

There is no stylist inside me.

Let me tell you something.

I don't get jokes.

Yes, sir!

So, did you?

Did you bring this month's payment?

Are you listening?

Hey, what the…

Number Four won?

What a fool I was.

How much did you lose?

I have no interest in gambling.

My brother hates jokes!

Anyway, young master,

you've grown so much.

Remember? When you were around three or four,

you got lost in the amusement park,

and I ran all around it looking for you.

He's the young master.

I see.

Young master! I see!

You did a good job.

He must have learned from the experience.

He was stuck in his room for a few days.