Call the Midwife

'It is not time itself that we notice passing,

'but the things it erases and reclaims for eternity.

'Infancy, childhood,

'golden moments, red-letter days,

'the darkest nights.

'All washed away, as if by water.

'All out of sight, as if by tides.'

It's all right, Beryl.

This will pass. It will pass.

You cannot interrupt the signal without warning.

The impulses within will disconnect and become deranged.

Sister, I tasked you with the flowers in the chapel this morning,

to celebrate the return of our sisters and our staff from Africa,

but now I find the vases empty.

And you... gyrating in front of the television.

Sister Ursula, I admit that the vases

await my effort, but I firmly refute

all charges of gyration!

Flowers, dear.

Oh, wait.

Rest assured, Nurse Busby,

if Matron makes a beeline for this bun today,

it shall not be found wanting.

I could do without another public reprimand.

We're studying breech births, and there's a test next week.

Nurse Mount.

- Have you lost your way to the clinical room? - No, Sister Ursula.

Then might I suggest you join me there...

at your earliest convenience? Patients await.

Meanwhile, we're all awaiting her departure.

- Thank you. - Oh, dear. - Go inside, Barbara.

All right, guv'nor, thank you.

No sooner looked but they loved,

no sooner loved but they sighed,

and in these degrees have they made

a pair of stairs to marriage.

- Dare we ask to see the ring, Babs? - I don't have one, yet.

Tom proposed to me in a field in Africa,

so I've got a blade of grass in a Germolene tin.

Simply charming.

I do hope no ointment was wasted in the process.

We husbanded our resources very carefully, Sister Ursula,

and left Hope Clinic in a much better state

than it was when we arrived.

We even left Nurse Franklin behind -- on loan --

- for the next two months. - So I've been informed.

Now, I imagine luncheon will be welcome.

It certainly would.

Oh.

Has something gone wrong in the kitchen?

Not at all.

I simply thought that with the return of our adventurers,

we might embrace a new routine.

A frugal luncheon, packed if required,

with our hot meal served at the end of the working day,

not in the midst of it.

But it's clinic this afternoon, Sister Ursula,

and a hearty meal at one o'clock helps keep us all going.

Sister Winifred, could you fill the water jug, please?

Of course.

- Would you like a dash of lemon barley in it? - No.

Don't sit down just yet, ladies.

The Mother House will be telephoning in a few moments,

and I'm sure Sister Julienne would like to take the call.

Of course.

Nonnatus House. Sister Julienne speaking.

Greetings.

Sister Julienne!

Oh, my dear.

You look so very well. And happy.

Yes. Oh, I've just delivered a beautiful little boy,

and you've all come home!

I've just been speaking to Mother Jesu Emmanuel,

and she thanks everyone who's just returned from South Africa

for their service to the order,

and of course to the people that we helped.

She also wished me to tell you an important piece of news.

Sister Ursula, who has worked so tirelessly in our absence,

will not be returning to the Mother House.

As of today, she will officially...

be in charge of all matters

medical and spiritual here in Nonnatus House.

And I will be serving...

as a member of staff, underneath her.

I would like to be the first to...

offer my good wishes

to our new superior.

Pink for maternity, blue for postnatal.

A ticket for each patient to be seen in strictly numerical order.

I'm sorry, Sister Ursula,

but the traditional half-hourly timings have worked well enough.

But is well enough good enough, Mrs Turner?

Before the order's Cottage Hospital was closed,

there were accusations of inefficiency.

I shouldn't like the clinic here to be subjected to complaints.

Oh, most mothers don't mind when things run on.

They can attend talks and catch up with their friends

over tea and biscuits.

In future, Mrs Turner, biscuits will be for fainters only.

Eating for two should be about careful nutrition,

not self-indulgence.

Oh, what's all this? Are we having a raffle?

No, but we're taking a gamble, if you ask me.

Sister Julienne, whatever are you doing? That's very heavy work.

Sister Ursula charged me with setting out the furniture.

It is a necessary task, and one I do gladly.

Pink ticket number 21.

I think that will be you, Mrs Watts. Thank you.

I'll have a feel of your tummy in a minute.

Before I do that, do you want to tell me why Master Mickey's

not in school today?

He's having trouble with his waterworks.

During the day, or just at night?

At night, mainly, but...

when he has an accident, he cries.

He won't go to school in the morning.

I think the other kids torment him.

He doesn't smell of wee, or anything. I'd never let that happen.

- No. - He gets called names because of those glasses.

We've been waiting and waiting to hear back from the hospital.

It can't be much fun peering out at the world from behind

that pirate's eye patch, young man.

How about, I'll ring that eye department

and chivvy them along?

Yes, please.

I could nip to the telephone now.

They might even squeeze you in this afternoon.

Oh, I can't do anything else today.

I've been sat here for hours waiting for my number to come up,

and I've got obligations.

We'll salvage that mascara.

And when we've listened to baby's heartbeat,

pop off and attend to your business,

and I'll telephone St Cuthbert's.

All right, mate?! How you doing?

- You're looking great! - Lester.

Trudy!

Blimey, Trude, good job they let me out for good behaviour.

- You? Good behaviour? - Get any bigger, I'll be needing longer arms.

Daddy's won a cup for his boxing.

Go on, Mickey, take it.

Take it.

There you go. You can start your own collection.

Got a pair of gloves waiting for him down the gym.

No, Lester. Not the ring, not for Mickey.

What's with his glasses?

- Is it that squint? - The proper word's an astigmatism.

Oi, Lester. Come on.

Compliments of the boss.

Patsy? Why is this letter thanking me for volunteering

to give a pottery demonstration at the, and I quote,

"Commonwealth Day Tea Party" in the community centre?

I had to give the organisers a list of people who'd contribute.

And you did quite enjoy the lessons you had before you went to South Africa.

Do turn that transistor down, Deels.

- Crackling's agony. - Sorry.

I'm soldiering on in pursuit of Radio Luxembourg.

The set's still in South Africa, and no telly.

This is our only chance of entertainment.

Apart from our cocktail of the day...

which is the Grasshopper.

Equal parts creme de menthe, creme de cacao, evap and a dash of cocoa.

Slips down like a liquid after-dinner mint,

and then kicks you like a mule.

We got you some bitter lemon.

Actually, I'll have a cocktail, if it's all the same to you.

Vicars' wives drink quite a lot of sherry,

and I think it's time I got myself in training.

- I'll raise a glass to that. - Me too!

To Barbara's looming career as an inebriate clergy spouse.

Oh!

The lady of the house, if you would be so kind.

Zelda, someone to see you.

You come about the rum, dear?

As you may observe, I am in uniform, therefore I won't imbibe.

I've called with a message for Mrs Trudy Watts,

about an appointment at the eye clinic.

I'm her mother. You may as well come in.

Excuse me.

Come on, then, darling. Give us all a thrill!

They got hold of a load of raw rum from somewhere,

need a stocking to sieve out all the bits of carbon.

It would seem I've come at an inconvenient time.

I'll leave this for your attention.

Of course. Thank you.

Well, that's my fate sealed.

My pottery teacher said she'll lend me her wheel.

I have to teach the Sunday school a Maori haka.

We can be companions in despair.

I do want you to have a proper ring, Barbara.

I know. And I know we can't really afford one.

Yet.

Besides, that blade of grass is more precious to me than diamonds.

I'm Barbara Gilbert, midwife and curate's fiancee,

- not Zsa Zsa Gabor. - Not many girls would say that.

Well, you're not engaged to many girls.

No. Just you.

- See you later. - Bye!

See you at the gym.