Frauds

Bert's in a volatile place.

MAN GRUNTS

My husband is lying in there because of them.

They're looking for two women in connection with the watches.

We need to make this happen.

Police are looking for you. Are you mad?

Prak's making moves on my patch in Bradford

while I've been banged up.

He's gonna lose his marbles when he finds out what's happened to Kyan.

Yeah, I've heard you've got Bilal forging a Dali painting for you.

I reckon I know why you're doing that.

GUNSHOT

HE MOANS, SHE LAUGHS

You need a baby-sitter for Bert. That's not what's required.

That's always what's required.

You just need to trust them. They can't even trust each other.

You haven't got cancer, have you?

There are worse things that I could have done.

Worse than pretending you're dying?

Wearing a wire for the police like a nasty little grass.

'I didn't have a choice.'

They were coming for you, and you were wild.

We were gonna end up dead.

So you put me inside? You put yourself inside!

When this is done, we need to leave.

Trust nobody, kid.

DONKEY BRAYS

Watch out for her. She ate her last mate.

Oh, it's Doctor Dolittle. He talked through the animals.

Is Deegs alive?

Yeah. Well, he was when I tied him to a chair.

Is he a problem?

Absolutely not. Good.

Hey, look, we've got a job to do, so are we gonna be able to do it?

Yeah. Celine. Game face.

BERT SIGHS

Ball-ache of a drive here.

Well, go on, then. Let's have a look.

Right, yeah.

Well, ladies, that is... incredible.

You couldn't distinguish it from the real thing.

The brushwork.

Gentle ageing.

It's completely in line with not just how old the painting is,

but how well the gallery's housed it.

Something you don't often see in copies...

..even the best.

In fact, it's so good, you could have just given me this,

saved yourself the shag and hassle.

Wouldn't have known the difference.

But once you know, you know.

Do you know what I mean?

So, once you have the real painting safely in your possession,

I'll ping you a location and we can bring the money.

The money needs to be in unmarked bills. It will be.

Thank you for the egg-sucking lesson (!)

Well, good luck.

Not that you'll need it.

Thanks.

SAM SIGHS

Shall we? Let's go do this.

KNOCKING

HANDLE RATTLES

KNOCKING

HE SIGHS

COUGHING

Hey.

I don't want you to go!

I'm not going to wait on the sidelines any more.

I just need you to back me.

When have you ever been on the sidelines?

You haven't had a good thing to say about Bert. What if it's a set-up?

We've come to an understanding, Bert and I.

I can't support this.

That's your decision.

But I'm going, whether you support it or not.

Shh. RINGING TONE

CAITLIN'S VOICEMAIL MESSAGE PLAYS

Turn on your earpiece and be careful, OK?

See you on the other side, kiddo.

Jackie's late.

RINGING TONE

I'm not sending Caitlin in there blind.

Here.

For the next hour, can we be a team? That's why we're here.

I bet you a euro you can't nick a Dali out of there.

Bet you I can.

Where the hell is Jackie?

Just keep unloading.

'She'll be here.'

I'm approaching the building.

'Copy. When you're in the building, let me know.'

Roger that.

'Hola, putas.'

You're cutting it fine.

'Well, I am juggling a few things, in case you hadn't noticed.'

Let's just keep it together and get this done.

DOOR CLOSES

Where you going? You're the lookout.

I am paying my parking.

Don't want your lookout getting towed, do you?

That'd be very shoddy, wouldn't it?

AMUSED SIGH

COMPUTER BEEPING

'Miss Take, are you approaching the entrance?'

Yes, darling.

'Caitlin on her way in.'

THEY SPEAK SPANISH

THEY SPEAK SPANISH

Gracias. Thank you.

'Blas said the weak spot is the idiot guard at the loading bay.'

Gracias.

That was a lovely story. He seems like a weak link.

THEY SPEAK SPANISH

LIFT BEEPS, SAM SIGHS

'Feeds are up and running.'

Shit. 'Jackie?'

Where is she?

GUARDS SPEAK SPANISH OVER RADIO

Caitlin, are you OK?

I can't talk.

DETECTOR WHINES AND CHIRRUPS

'Where is she?'

SPANISH CONVERSATION OVER RADIO

I'm in.

CHATTER IN SPANISH

'Blas, get your eyes on Miss Take, Room 203.'

'Contact made. Heading to the Masturbator.'

My girls are in place.

'Beautiful. We'll go on the command, "Wanker." '

Why "Wanker"?

'Think about it. What are we nicking?'

Subtle as an air-raid.

Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?

Someone had to make sure you didn't get into any trouble.

Currently around 20 people in the room.

No queues reported at the door. Maintaining steady footfall.

I've requested changeover.

Here's the police guard now.

THEY SPEAK SPANISH

OK, Miss Take is in place

and Blas is heading to the security room.

We are running to time.

Caitlin's on floor 1. She is heading to the lift.

Shit. Museum staff.

'What do I do?'

'Stick to the plan. Follow them in.'

LIFT BEEPS

'Everybody stand by.'

LIFT CREAKING

Permiso. Gracias.

Two minutes, standing by.

You OK?

She's fine.

You said that without moving your lips. I'm good.

OK. Heading to security now.

'Copy that. Caitlin, how's the baby?'

'Testing now.'

BABY CRYING

You make a lovely grandma. You've got the saggy arse for it.

Oh, just shut up.

'Miss Take, are you ready to go?' Ready.

It's a fixed lens.

Only captures the first two metres outside the lift.

We're clear.

'All right, girls, you are out of vision.'

BABY CRYING

'Caitlin's in place and baby crying.'

Blas.

'What's happening, Blas?

'What's happening? Blas!'

BLAS SPEAKS URGENTLY IN SPANISH

Fuck! Blas has been taken out of the security room.

He can't swap the feed.

Right.

Everyone, hold your positions.

What the hell's going on?

'Just wait for my command.'

Blas, whatever you need to do,

get back in that room.

'Hold positions.'

'Blas, what's happening?'

BEEP 'What did he say?'

THEY CHAT IN SPANISH

BABY CRYING CONTINUES

OK, feed swapped.

Everyone free to move on.

SIGHS

'We have a problem.

'The boss is changing the idiot in the loading bay at three o'clock.'

That only leaves us seven-and-a-half minutes!

'Can we go out through the front?'

'No, stick to the plan. Stay calm. We can do this.'

'All right, then, ladies. Over to you.'

Here we have the Claude Monet collection, and...

Wanker!

Go.

CRYING CONTINUES

GUARD SIGHS

Oh, thank you.