Private Eyes

There he is. Waiting for his lady friend.

This guy can afford five stars; why the cheap motel?

It's part of the fantasy. Some people get off on slumming.

You're speaking from personal experience?

I always thought being a professional voyeur

- would be far more exciting. - If you're so bored,

you could study for your P.I. exam.

You know, I've always been more of a school-of-life kind of guy.

No exam, no P.I. license, no job. Here she is.

Let the games begin.

You know, what they don't

teach you in P.I. school is how to get "The Money Shot."

The clients always want proof. You need a kiss,

an embrace and... lift off.

- (clicking) - That was the real money shot.

The way two people look at each other tells you everything.

Unfortunately, it's not real evidence of adultery.

- Looks like the real thing. - Three months, they'll be back on OKCupid.

Is there no romance in your soul?

Not lurking outside a no-tell motel there isn't.

- Stay here. - Hey! Hey, hey!

- What can I learn sitting in a car? - Try the book.

- You need to study. - (car door closing)

Everett Investigations.

Could you repeat that, please?

Come on! Move to where I can see you.

- OK. Here we go. - (fast clicking)

Hey, Shade!

What are you doing?

That is how you get the money shot

- when the clock is winding down. - Hmm! Not bad. Still not cool.

Big case came in. It's time sensitive.

- Every case is time sensitive. - But not every case

- is a diamond heist. - Hey! Get back here!

- I love diamonds! Let's go! - Yeah!

Give me the camera! Hey!

Stop!

Mr, Mrs. Cutler. Angie Everett.

This is my, uh, associate, Matt Shade.

Please tell us about the theft.

It's devastating, horrible! I...

We got a call an hour ago that she was missing.

I'm sorry, "she"?

On the phone, you said this was about a diamond heist.

No, no. Not "a." The.

Diamond Heist is our racehorse, and she's disappeared.

Our jockey, Carly, notified us that she was missing.

: She's our three-year-old filly.

- She's a beautiful horse. - Mm-hmm.

Worth over a million dollars. She's the favourite to win

- Summerhill Derby this weekend. - Was there a ransom note?

Nothing. She just vanished.

- Have you called the cops? - No, no, no, no.

We don't want to risk spooking whoever took her.

Look, your agency came highly recommended by our lawyer,

and if you're effective, we're hoping she'll be racing in the derby.

Failing that, we just... we just want

- to find her. - Will you help us?

Just one second.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Are you kidding me? Million-dollar racehorses

versus by-the-hour love shacks? What's the debate?

- I don't like horses. - But you like sitting

in your car for hours playing peekaboo

- with Cheaty McCheatersons? - My agency, my call.

This is a retainer to get things going.

If you find Diamond Heist in time to run the derby,

- I'll triple that. - We're on it.

: Morning.

Hey, Jules.

You may want to take another run at those buttons.

I'm off my game, I could not sleep last night.

- What's keeping you up? - Human cloning.

Yeah, I hear you.

For the debate team, I'm taking the pro position,

but I'm not even sure if I am for cloning.

- You know what beats fear? - Hard liquor?

- That and preparation. - You know, you have

a very specific inflection to your voice when you're about

- to launch into a hockey lecture. - Back in my IPHL days,

before a game, I would study

every play, I'd watch every second of game tape.

I knew what my opponent was gonna do before he did,

so when I hit the ice, I was in the zone.

- Preparation works every time. - Yeah, how's the preparation

- for your P.I. exam going? - Got my textbook right here.

Yeah, it feels like it hasn't even been opened yet.

Angie's giving me a lot of on-the-job training.

- (horn honking) - Hmm! Speak of the P.I. devil.

Gotta run, honey. Love you.

Preparation, Dad.

Yeah, preparation.

Yeah, I heard that.

How could you have possibly heard that?

Look around you,

Everett. Sunshine, adrenaline...

- (Everett): Horse manure. - Admit it.

A stolen horse is even better than stolen diamonds.

- Let's just get this over with. - What is wrong with you?

Horse racing is the sport of kings.

Start at the backstretch. That's where the horses

are stabled and the downstairs folk hang out.

- "The downstairs folk"? - Racing has a real class divide.

There's the millionaire horse hobbyists, like the Cutlers.

Then, there's the staff on the ground that makes

this gangster system run.

- (indistinct PA message) - Did you know

that 90% of abductions are committed by people known to the victims?

You realize we're looking for a horse, right?

Horses come with an entourage:

jockey, trainer, groom, exerciser, stable hand.

That's a family. My money's on one of them.

What?

Page 14 of the P.I. textbook is the "Intelligence Checklist."

- Show me what you've learned. - Right!

Intelligence Checklist, yes!

Well...

- There's no horse. Haha! - Great attention to detail.

- What else? - Uh,

security cameras? Security cameras, what... ?

- There are none. - Keep going.

Umm, I got a better idea.

Why don't you tell me what you would look for?

- Are you taking this seriously? - Yes, coach!

First, I'd look for signs of forced entry...

Forced entry. Yes, that's what I was gonna say.

But it appears the thief

or thieves just walked right out of here.

These horses are worth millions, and half the people at the track are crooks.

No cameras, no security? Just doesn't make any sense.

- Right. - Let's go talk to the jockey.

- Carly King. - Good idea.

It's exactly what I was gonna say.

You and Diamond have been on quite the winning streak lately.

Four major races in a row, impressive.

She's an impressive horse.

The Cutlers said you called them last night around 10 p.m.

Yeah. As soon as I realized that she was missing.

Are you usually at the track that late?

I was having a couple of drinks in the bar.

Before a race?

- Yeah. I guess I was nervous. - Nervous about what?

About Diamond.

Look, usually, she loves to run.

I mean, this horse lives for it.

But lately, she's needed more encouragement.

After you took her out, did you turn her over to the groom?

No. To Keith, our trainer.

He's the one that likes to cool her down.

So, Keith, after the cool down,

- Diamond was alone in her stall? - (Irish accent): I came back

to feed her around 5, but after that, aye.

I noticed security cameras around the track,

- but none in the stalls. - In the stalls?

That's up to the owners. Some have 'em installed, some don't.

So, you weren't on the track last night?

No, sir. Horses are like fighters.

You gotta give them time to get right.

You've been in this game a long time.

- Left school for it. - Sounds like a calling.

That's not Church; it's horses.

You worship them just the same.

Horses tend to be more noble than people.

You could be right there.

So you do like horses.

Let's split up. I'll go to the security office

pull some footage; you go railside, talk to the locals,

get the gossip. Act dumb, look pretty.

Use what's left of your celebrity.

"What's left"?!

Boys.

Beautiful day, beautiful sport.

Matt Shade!

Guilty as charged.

- And you are? - Such a big fan of yours.

Those years you played in Chicago...

Magic.

- Nora. - Hi, Nora.

So who do you think looks good out there?

- The black one. - "Made Runner."

Good blood, bad legs. Her mommy and daddy

were champs, but she sure has not lived up

- to her bloodline. - You know a lot about horses?

Honey, I know everything about horses.

Hey, you see that one? Chestnut?

"Make it Reins."

Nice, even temperament,

exceptional physicality. Knows how to perform.

- Hmm... - (indistinct chatter)

What's up with you and that guy? Bad date?

- I don't give bad dates. - Of course. I meant him.

- I know you did. - Ha!

Angie! This is Nora.