Shameless

Fuck you guys want?

It's the recap shit.

What, you guys miss last week's episode?

Eh, we should probably show it to 'em.

I guess.

Go!

You want to volunteer? Here?

Yes, sir. In need of some documentation,

community service. Trying to get into West Point.

Only takes three or four minutes

if you get the, uh, hose on the tailpipe right.

You're killing dogs?

All right, well, you guys just relax.

Just die naturally.

Where are all the female employees?

At the woman's march! Selling pussy hats.

"Jugs"?

I lied to you this morning.

- There is a woman on my site. - Who?

Me.

A-are they giving you your meds in there?

I-I'm protecting defenseless lambs from having

their emotional and physical spirits slaughtered.

Gallagher! You made bail.

Your disciples!

We crowd sourced your bail to get you out.

Gay Jesus!

- Commercial real estate? - Yeah,

you're the one who told me to invest.

Max Whitford's just gonna try and fuck you, trust me.

You seem savvy. We're putting in

another Sunset Brooks senior care center.

You'd need a hundred to play.

Then I got a hundred in my pocket.

We did it.

- I need a sponsor. - Me?

Helping another AA member's

a hell of a lot better for your sobriety

than chasing after a kid who's not yours.

Uh, I'll sponsor you. Come on.

We someone who will promote and protect our values!

What about Mo White?

Let's make Chicago White again!

Mo White?

Yeah. Who are you?

Your country needs you.

Uh-huh.

That'll show those misogynistic motherfuckers.

Fuck, yes!

Only two dicks left.

Clearly you haven't had much experience

around a dick. It's more like this.

Ooh. Hey.

- En garde! - Ooh!

Ooh!

Shh, shh!

Yeah, we're gonna get busted.

Okay, who's next?

Uh, this one.

Oh, hell, no.

Yo, yo, Darryl fucking Feathers, man!

He was the foreman at my last job.

Oh, shit. This one gets two dicks.

Hey.

Hey.

Um...

The fuck you doing?

Waiting.

- Waiting for what? - Shim.

Good morning, my indigenous South Siders!

Don't mind me.

Just showing our support

for a better tomorrow.

Huh?

Hi.

W-what's a "shim"?

Shim. God.

But God doesn't have a gender, or maybe it's both genders,

so she, him... Shim.

Mother-father God.

And you're waiting for Shim to...

Talk to me.

Tell me what to do next.

Does that happen a lot?

Used to all the time in jail,

but since I've been out, nothing.

That's because it never happened.

Shim,

a higher power, the great I Am, Great Spirit...

call it whatever you want... but it ain't talking to you.

And we weren't talking to you.

Enlightenment, or whatever these new-fangled

hippy-dippy religions are selling,

is a waste of time.

Gay Jesus, Taoism,

Scientology, Christian Science,

Joel Osteen, Deepak Chopra...

It's like going to one of those flaky schools

where the students create their own curriculum,

then don't get graded on it.

Religion isn't a startup, Ian.

You want God to talk to you,

you gotta stick with the classics: Buddhism,

Judaism, Christianity.

And if you break the rules,

you burn in hell for all eternity.

And there's your enlightenment.

In the meantime,

I shall be saving the South Side

from the endless caravan of immigrants.

All right. You guys should get going, huh?

Come on. You don't want to be late

for your first day. of public school.

That's the one thing they care about.

Oh, wait.

Oh.

There.

Later.

Hey, buddy, Liam, might want to lose the tie.

No? Okay.

We're making sandwiches now, Pops?

You think that's weird?

Here you go, Miss Riley.

I can assure you, there was no suffering.

Bless you, sweet boy.

Sparky's in a better place.

Mm.

We done?

Ta-da! What do you think?

It's an empty lot.

Yeah, 1/10th of which belongs to me.

But it's not about what it looks like now.

It's about what it's gonna be.

You're looking at the future site

of Sunset Brook Senior Care, phase two.

It's nice, huh?

Hm.

"Hm"? What is "hm"?

Well, just seems like they could've put

a bit more money into the architecture,

you know?

Well, they're going for a

really simple, practical,

kind of European vibe. I love it.

Yeah, well, it's definitely practical.

Is this the thing Whitford sucked you into?

Whitford didn't suck me into anything.

I invested in a limited partnership.

So Max Whitford

makes all the decisions?

The general partner does, yes.

It's an LLC, which means my liability is limited,

so I can't get sued by some junkie roofer.

Ah, so you can only lose all your investment,

- which was how much again? - 100,000.

- 100,000? - Mm-hm.

- Dollars? - With a 30% return

expected in less than a year.

Come on. Still got 12 blocks to go.

Christ. Seriously?

Don't worry, Sparky.

I'm gonna be with you here till the end.

"Pablo would like to play and run.

He'd spend his day in the bright, warm sun."

Hey. Morning.

Sorry. The meeting's done already?

Uh, they're just getting

- started... there you go. - Hey, man.

Thanks for letting me call you at 2:00 a.m.

Yeah, that's what sponsors are for, you know?

Could I get you to sign my court sheet?

Yeah, look, you gotta be on time, though, all right?

I don't sign for short-timers.

Sorry.

It's all right.

Hello?

Shit. Is she okay?

Yeah. All right, okay.

Yeah, I'll be right there. Yo, I gotta go, all right?

My kid's in the emergency room.

You have a kid?

We need more dicks.

I know!

So I know these women in my trade school welding class.

- I think they can help. - Mm, cool.

You know if you mouth the words "olive juice,"

it looks like you're saying "I love you"?