The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid (Uno sceriffo extraterrestre... poco extra e molto terrestre)

Proceed to zone EX5, absolute priority.

Proceed to zone EX5. Absolute priority.

Units 3 and 7, fly low.

Unit 7 here. We are flying over South Lake.

Suddenly I saw a strange creature, right in front of...

Scan the lake and report as soon as possible.

All right, Commander Davis, you are leading the operation. Is there any truth in

- what people claim to have seen? - Yes, what people claim to have

seen is highly questionable. It may be a fabrication.

Dive team, ready to move into action.

Search the entire area south of the lake.

Yes.

- I am certain of that. - Thank you. And do you think you will find anything?

If there is anything, we will find it.

Thank you very much. This concludes our first report. We will be back shortly with

a new live broadcast. Fred Grovy thanks you for watching.

This is Kathy Lewis from Channel 2. Commander, at what time was the

first alarm given?

It must have been around 7:00. We received a phone call from

a woman who said she was near the north side of the

Quick, quick with those ladders.

This way. You go with the first team. And no mistakes.

Second team, with me. Come on, hurry up.

Move.

Ranger One, Ranger F. Come in. Ranger...

- Ranger One to Ranger Two. - Excuse me, Officer Portel, you were on

patrol in this area. Did you notice anything suspicious this morning?

No, I noticed nothing unusual. Otherwise I would have informed my

commander. It was a morning like any other.

Thank you. And you, ma'am, did you notice anything unusual at sunrise this morning?

No, we had just woken up. If we had seen anything, we would have said so.

Mrs. Evans, did you really see what you claim?

How else could I say it? Of course.

Can you describe it?

A monster. A truly gigantic monster. As big as a mountain.

It had one eye. Here, right in the middle of its forehead.

Thank you. In summary: according to some eyewitnesses, or rather

according to the descriptions of an extraterrestrial being,

an extraterrestrial being that according to many citizens from a

UFO has landed, would resemble the mythical Cyclops. But

according to the official statements, it is unlikely that any of it is true.

Look...

Look up there, that monster.

That monster up there.

Look up there. Leave it, it's dangerous.

Get him.

It is completely unacceptable that you are walking around dressed as

an extraterrestrial, frightening citizens.

First of all, I am not dressed as an extraterrestrial at all. Secondly, I am the

sheriff of Newnan. Everyone knows me here. Third, I am off duty today.

I love honey. I came to collect honey from my bees.

THE SHERIFF IS SEEING THINGS

These subtitles were specially made for the tenth anniversary

of the death of Bud Spencer. Bud Spencer died on June 27, 2016.

- Boys, one at a time. - Bill, do you think the UFOs have landed?

Don't worry. If they come, they'll stop here to taste my ice cream.

You are once again live with Channel 19. Let's hear the impressions of

this healthy and prosperous little family. Do you really believe that

UFOs have landed in our town? - Yes.

And if you met one, would you invite him to lunch?

No.

The residents of New are a bunch of drunks. No UFOs,

hair and a beard, it's too hot.

And they only see them at night, after they have been drinking

in a bar. But are they pulling your leg? What's wrong?

What's wrong? Help! Stop! The UFOs.

What do you mean? Help! I believe it, I believe it. Me too.

I have always believed in extraterrestrials. I have never missed a chance to admire myself

I love myself very much. I am friends with myself and everyone. Stop.

1:45 p.m. 1:45 p.m.

1:46 p.m.

Ugo, Ugo. Long live the Ugos!

Why is he looking at me? He is speechless.

Sheriff, sheriff.

Urgent call. Please respond.

Yes? - Return immediately. Ruby Red Pad, Peach

Street 65 Northwest. There is an extraterrestrial, but this time it is real,

a monstrous creature, disgusting, bloodthirsty and revolting.

But even that is not all.

- Bren, you again, huh? Then I'll take you back. - Because afterward you'll let me go again.

Not this time. No, I'm not paying your bail.

Then I'm not coming.

There's no point insisting.

Follow me.

Deputy Sheriff Allen here. Dispatch calling the sheriff.

Requesting the sheriff's location.

Allen to sheriff, I can't hear you, sheriff. Please respond. Oh no.

Switch to emergency channel 2. I hear a metal gate closing. Give

the coordinates to dispatch. I hear footsteps approaching. Respond.

- Sheriff, where are you? - I'm here.

But where exactly? Street, square, district,

don't keep me in suspense.

Hey Allen, turn off the radio and the phone. That's enough for today.

Okay. Ah, but calls keep coming in. Old

Parker says her house was bombed by three men in underpants.

They must have been three Martians in swimsuits.

Ah, today is a rotten day. And that rheumatism too.

Uh, here it is.

Hey Vici, why don't you open the gate? - Uh, no, friend, I don't trust it.

I have nothing against you. It's the sheriff who's after me.

No, sorry. Next you'll take me hostage. That won't work on me.

Wait, Allen. I'll handle this.

Here's your dinner, Brennon.

Careful, it's hot.

Still?

It's really a habit of yours. Do you know that gives you headaches?

Gosh!

Ah, the usual malfunction is back at headquarters.

Do you still not believe it? These are the same UFOs that last night

did the same thing, at exactly the same time.

It seems they're punctual. Allen, I'm going on my rounds.

Third squadron, 304. High altitude. Interception mission. Launch

immediately. I repeat: launch immediately.

Radar detection 165.

Radar detection 165.

Quadrant X26.

Quadrant X26.

Official operations service center. Radar detection 165, quadrant X.

No doubt about it. This time it's them: extraterrestrials.

Sheriff! Sheriff!

Allen, you can close up for tonight. There's nothing new. I'm going back to the office.

No, you can't go back. Mrs. Parkins called.

Don't tell me she's lost her child again.

- Exactly. - Well, I know where he is.

But you're not Peter, are you? Aren't you Mrs. Parkins' son? Where's Peter?

Here I am.

Hello, Sheriff. - Hello.

We had a great time. - Isn't it a bit late to still be playing?

Your mother is worried.

Good evening, Sheriff. If you hadn't been here in this town, you'd never have found him.

Thank you. Come on, we're going home. Do I have to call the police every time

- you go out? - But I was playing.

Say, aren't you going home? What's your name? - H725.

An alien, I'd bet. - Certainly.

It's pretty late. You should be in bed at this hour.

Where do you live? Far away? - No.

Hmm, that's good.

I live about three light-years from here. More or less.

Three years? What?

Don't you know what a light-year is?

Yeah, yeah. And I suppose you came to Earth on a special mission?

No, I ended up here by accident.

I was playing in the capsule

of the spaceship. I pressed the wrong button and ended up here.

Okay, Johnny. - My name isn't Johnny.

Then what's your name?

I already told you. My name is H725.

Well, if you won't tell me your name, at least tell me your father's name.

What do you mean? His name is H724.

H724.

H7... - Pff!

24.

And then?

I'm connected. Everything is spinning.

Well, don't exaggerate. Alpha 7 Beta 5.

Sorry, can't you call me what everyone calls me?

And what does everyone call you?

H725.

Okay.

We're friends.

That sound I hear is very beautiful. But what is it?

Music. - Music?

Why have you never heard music before? - No.

How is it that on your planet they never taught you to whistle to your friends?

No, where we come from, that doesn't exist.

No music? - No.

I really can't imagine a world without music.

Courage.

Listen, if you're afraid to go home, I'll talk to your father.

No, he'd never listen to you. He's always busy.

I understand. Come upstairs with me.

Sheriff's office, Newnan.

Is this the office?

I'm the sheriff and I can only give you a bunk, but in the cell you'll

not feel very comfortable. Wouldn't it be better to go home?

Of course.

Well then, tell me where you live.

Where? - Look, do you see the Milky Way?

Well, a little further to the left is the constellation

Pisces. Then you go right and pass Alpha

Centauri on your left. Once you've passed Capricorn, you'll find Andromeda.

Then you'll see it.

What's wrong? It works without it too. But these must be UFOs

They've gone completely crazy. What else could it be?

They're UFOs. Sheriff, come quickly, hurry up. This is

terrible news: we have the UFO in the blender.

They've arrived here too, Sheriff. Come take a look at that thing...

Suddenly it started working by itself and there's no

way to stop it. It's no use. Look, the cream

is being whipped and it just keeps going. It's been doing that for fifteen minutes

now. There's nothing to be done. It just won't stop. Uh-uh.

It would have been enough just to pull the plug.

Uh, but how? I've pulled the plug out at least fifty times.

Don't worry, it's only a magnetic storm.

I'm not worried, but it wasn't a magnetic storm.

Ah, so it wasn't a storm.

And what was it then? Well...

I was working on my super-radiation photonics.

May I see it?

Don't be so smart, or I'll throw you in. Clear?