Entourage

- Hello. - What, do you wake up at noon, Eric?

It's 10: 15. I had a late night. What's up?

You're gonna have a fabulous day. Get up and grab Variety.

- Why? What's it say in Variety? - I told you I'd get you the cover,

- and I did. - Holy shit.

What's it say?

Hold on. Christy, come on.

It says, "Vincent Chase swims into Aquaman."

Clever, huh? And they got his picture side by side

with Jeffrey Katzenberg, so it looks more gorgeous by comparison.

- Fuck me. - No, thank you. It'd be nice

- if you sent me flowers. Bye. - How can they print that?

- It's not even true. - Come on.

Variety is like a high school paper.

They pay their writers 28 grand a year

to find out something to write about the popular kids.

What are we gonna do, Ari? This is a big problem.

First of all, there is no "we" in "I."

I am already on it. I called Dana Gordon.

You spend a lot of time waiting to be called back.

You know what? I got her her job, so she will call me back.

- What should I tell Vince? - Until we confirm that Leo

is actually doing this movie, nothing has changed.

We heard this from a fucking club promoter named Chucky.

Until we find this out from someone who works in this business,

- Vince is still Aquaman. - You're still Vince's agent.

Keep checking with me to confirm that.

Yo, E, this is Vince's first cover. Good job, baby.

E, you're en fuego. I may want you to start managing me soon.

Why haven't you asked to manage me yet?

He's waiting for your new legs to come in, Drama.

Speaking of which, you gonna give me cash or Vincent's black card,

'cause there's a couple more things I might need.

What do you want to do now, get your ears pinned back?

We need a new set of kitchen knives, dickface. These blades are for shit.

You know Vince likes his tomatoes sliced paper thin.

Oh, and, E, Carrie Carlson called.

See that rug in the living room? She's gonna need 50K for that.

I'll need a grand for a steam cleaner 'cause Arnold had a little problem.

We might want to consider a permanently installed wok. Very versatile.

Guys, look, there's something important we need to talk about.

- Yo, yo! - Hey, guys.

- Hey to you, neighbor. - What happened to Cindy last night?

We're hanging out, having a good time. She just broke out.

Don't worry, Turtle, I'll find you a girl.

- You promise? - I promise.

I'm gonna grab my stuff.

Be right back.

Hey, Vince, E's got something really important to talk about.

What's up?

Nothing. I just...

- Hello. - Delivery.

Hey, welcome to the neighborhood.

- Hey, Bob Saget. - There he is.

Aquaman himself. How you doing?

Been reading about you all morning, man. I live right next door.

I'm a big fan, Vince, so are my daughters.

But do me a favor, don't fuck 'em. Don't you fuck my daughters.

- I'm just fucking with you. - Hey, Bob.

- Staci, how you doing? - Good.

Is that cute little filly Michelle in town?

No, she's modeling in Dubai. She'll be back on Saturday.

- Make sure she calls me, will you? - I will.

I just got divorced.

Ex-wife got the house in the Palisades.

No biggie. I got four other houses. I don't give a shit.

Well, I gotta go. See ya.

- Bye. Good to see you. - Bye.

- Bye-bye. - Look at that gait.

Who do you think is more recognizable, you or me? Seriously.

Uh...

Anyway, I've taken up enough of you guys' time.

Have fun. Enjoy the muffins, handmade. Anybody an Xbox guy?

All right, I'm right next door. Good to see you.

Welcome to the neighborhood, man. Congrats.

All right.

- Hey, Bob, see ya. - See ya, man, take it easy.

- Bye, dude. Take care. - All right.

- Be good. - You too.

Who the fuck was that guy?

All I'm saying, Vince, is we should have a house rule,

either we all get laid or nobody gets laid.

That way you know you'll always have a ride home for your girl.

Staci doesn't need a ride. She's three houses down.

Turtle's the one looking for a ride.

I live three doors down from the cast of America's Next Top Model,

and I ain't getting laid? That's the worst cold streak ever.

Turtle, a cold streak implies that you were once hot.

Go easy on him, E. Come on.

Even ARod goes on a bad run sometimes.

Yeah, but even when ARod's slumping, he's still getting pussy.

Keep fucking laughing, E. You give me the manager title,

- I'll be overflowing in it. - Walsh!

There he is, Mr. Studio Feature.

Hey, I thought we were indie guys.

Suits got you headed for superstardom, huh?

I'm just fucking around. Cameron's great.

But listen, I'm writing something for you.

- You'd better be available. - Anything for you. You know that.

You hear that, suit? That's an oral agreement. Don't fuck me.

All right, who's ready to loop?

I am.

Nah, Johnny, your sound is clean.

This is Vince's day, okay?

See, I project a lot better than you, bro. Sorry.

Hey, Turtle, you wanna do a little lap around here?

- Yeah. - See you guys later.

- See ya. - So can we see a little footage?

Through the glass. No one sits in on my sessions.

See now these countertops are nice,

but these cabinets are for shit. Who would do that?

Look, I'm gonna let you have this one.

Don't worry about it. Just focus, keep your eye on the ball, all right?

- All right. - Look alive out there.

Hey, honey, how you doin'?

Enough's enough, man.

- Who are you calling? - Lorraine, my sure thing.

She can't spell "no."

I'm gonna put an end to the streak right now.

Stick it in the mailbox once I'm gone.

Let the cops chase after a dead man.

But he was your brother.

Half-brother.

Take care of yourself.

Hey, you ever coming back?

You kidding? I am Queens Boulevard.

This shit looks amazing.

- This gonna be a good movie. - Yeah, it looks real good.

Hey, you ever coming back?

You kidding?

I am Queens Boulevard.

- Listen, guys, we have a major problem. - Don't worry about Turtle.

Johnny Drama's got one of his sure things on the way.

He's not talking about me, asshole.

The guy's been stressed out about shit all day.

What's the problem, E?

All right, this is serious. You can't tell Vince.

- What is it? - We have no money.

- Yeah, right. - Come on, E, what do you mean?

Vince spent every last dollar he had on that house down payment.

We have no other money. The bills keep piling up.

- We gotta shut down the spending. - E, would you relax?

We got that big fat check from Aquaman coming any day now.

No, it's not. They pulled the offer.

You kidding?

I am Queens Boulevard.

Bam!

That is why you're a movie star.

I got Dana Gordon's assistant on the phone.

What the fuck are you wearing?

I'm trying out new looks.

This one's my Andre 3000. You like?

No, I don't. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag.

Do a triple fucking axel over to the phone and try Cameron again.

- Where is she, Amanda? - This is Jan. Amanda was fired.

- Jan, where is she? - I'm sorry. I haven't seen her all day.

- You new in town? - I've been here a month.

Okay, you probably don't know me. You will.

Pass this message along to Dana.

Tell her I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her I'm gonna start a website.

I'm gonna take a full-page ad in The LA Times advertising it.

It will be called "I'm a Hollywood Executive Whore dot-com,"

and no password or fee will be required.

Tell her I want a fucking callback.

E, when can I sit down with James Cameron?

Ari's waiting for a call.

Wow. Even Ari can't get Cameron on the phone.

Yo, Vince, James Cameron ain't that great.

What are you talking about? You saw Terminator a hundred times.

I watched it for Linda Hamilton.

Plus he likes to see the governor naked at the beginning.

- Anthony. - E. What's going on, players?

- What's going on? - Nothing like what you got going on.

Listen, Vince, if they're looking for a little color for that film,

I'd be a great fish. Prepare 'em to pay my quote, though.

- I'll do what I can. - Hey, do more than that.

Remember who got your brother that part in Barbershop.

- They cut me out. - You got paid, Drama,

so shut the fuck up, you ungrateful bitch.

Jesus! All right, take care, Vince, man.

See ya, buddy.

- Yeah. - Hey, Vince.

I got a table for you guys right out here.

So how you been? You been busy, Jamie?

Yeah, I've been real good actually.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

- Why don't you join us? - Because I'm working, Turtle.

Damn.

Ice cold.

Don't you worry, Turtle. Lorraine is on her way.

- James Cameron's office. - Hi, who am I speaking with?

This is James' assistant Emily.

Hey, Emily, this is Ari Gold. Do you know me?

Yeah, Ari, it's Emily.

You're joking, right, Ari?

Emily! I totally forgot that you work over there.

- How are you? - I am good, Ari.

- I'm amazing. You miss me? - Like I miss head lice.

Uh-oh.

Did we end badly?