Entourage

Entourage, season 5 episode 3 #57 - The All Out Fall Out

Turtle: I can't believe this.

The guy finally hooks up with justine chapin and he won't tell us nothing.

I told you, Turtle, we had a good time.

Come on, Vin. Need little more info than that.

Besides, since when don't we share the details of our love life?

Since you shared the details of the girl with the anal warts.

That was therapy, not entertainment.

Just give the little perv something, bro.

He won't stop nagging till he gets what he wants.

- like you don't want to know? - I have my own sex life to jerk off to.

Uh, correction-- you had your own sex life.

I mean, it was virtual, but now it's over.

- Turtle! - what?

No, it's okay, bro. He's right. It's over.

Jacqueline was just another hozy

Who tore my heart out of my chest and handed it to me.

So laugh at me. Whatever.

I'm not laughing, Drama. I'm just curious what a "hozy" is.

It's a ho and a floozy, e. And as it turns out,

Jacqueline was both.

Vince: we'll get you through it, Johnny.

Let's cross here.

- ( honking ) - Turtle: we got it, come on.

Keep your eyes closed, daddy!

They're closed, buddy. They're closed.

- he's peeking. - I'm not peeking.

Why do women never trust me, honey? Come on.

- okay, we're almost there. Just a couple more steps. - all right.

- a couple more. - okay.

- okay. - all right.

All right, stop now. Open your eyes.

Fuck me!

- daddy! - I'm sorry, buddy, I'm sorry.

- but holy sh-- - Ari!

Baby, what is this?

Happy... Anniversary.

I don't-- baby, my gift does not compare to that.

Oh, don't worry. I got myself something to make up for it.

Oh my god, remember how much I wanted this when I was 25?

- now you have it. - but I'm not 25.

Well, maybe it'll make you feel like you are.

- can I drive? - never.

- oh man! - ( Ari laughs )

I know things are bad, marvin.

Bad was last year. Things are fucking disastrous now.

You're like katrina with a black card.

- I've been broke before. - you're not broke-- you're bankrupt.

You've got to file chapter 11.

I'm not filing chapter 11.

You've got to wipe the slate clean and start all over again.

And this time on a budget and without dependents.

Should I just get an appetizer?

You should go on a hunger strike.

Vince, this is no time to be proud.

Marvin, my father filed bankruptcy,

Left my mother with nothing-- not even child support.

So call it pride, whatever you want, I'm not going to do it.

You're a better man than me, bro. I filed three times.

Maybe that's why I'm alone.

Maybe it's because you're fucking ugly.

All right, vince, don't file.

But get a job, and fast.

There's nothing out there to grab that quick.

Oh no? Call shauna. She's just got

A client we share an appearance deal in dubai.

They pay big money for girls over there.

It was michael buble, moron. And all he had to do

Was show up at a camel race.

A camel race? Doesn't sound too bad, huh?

Wow, nice car, Ari.

Anniversary gift from the wife.Thanks, davies.

Oh, that's right, I forgot-- you married into money.

Good for you, Ari. Good for you.

We only use her money for the small stuff.

Someday when you're done sucking on terrance's tit,

You might want to get yourself into a man's car like this.

breathe deep, Ari...

Here comes the dust.

- fuck it. - ( tires squeal )

Easy, Ari.

What do you say we race for pink slips?

I was thinking about getting that car for my daughter for her sweet 16.

Your daughter's almost 16, huh, Ari?

Two more years and she's legal.

- watch it, davies. - or what?

You couldn't catch me if you wanted to.

100 bucks says I pass bijan before you.

Bijan? You really are a bitch.

But you're on!

- ( brakes squeal ) - ( thuds )

Christy, where the fuck are you?

I thought you said you were going to speak nicer to me in front of the clients.

File a labor grievance. In the meantime,

Do we have any appearances that Vincent can do?

Actually I just got a call from some guy in bel air about his daughter's sweet 16.

Zac efron was supposed to do it, but his appendix exploded.

Great. Call him back and tell him we have an actor

Whose testicles have actually dropped.

But tell him that vince won't do it

For a dime less than zachary was getting.

- wow, maybe we should have shauna call the studios. - yeah, if she can close.

Oh, I'll close, Eric. These people would be lucky to have you, Vincent.

Let's make it a two-fer, shauna. This way the Chase brothers can wipe them out clean.

Stick to chili festivals, Drama.

What the fuck does that mean?

It means that you're far from a sweet 16's wet dream.

I'll be outside, fellas.

What's he so sensitive about?

He's going through a rough breakup.

- someone went out with him? - ( cell phone rings )

- hello? - it's amanda.

- oh, hey. - this a good time?

- yeah, what's up? - I am impressed with your taste, Eric.

- oh yeah? - that's a very good script you gave me-- very good.

- yeah, I thought so. - I sent it to edward norton

'cause I have a feeling he may just respond to it.

- ed norton? - yes, I hope that was okay.

- yeah, of course. - great. I'll let you know when I hear something.

- say hi to vince. - all right, thanks, amanda.

Amanda says hi.

- oh yeah? - yeah.

- she liked "nine brave souls." - really?

She wants to give it to ed norton.

Oh.

They're excited about vince,

But they'd like to meet him before they commit.

- I can't even book a sweet 16? - oh, it's just a formality.

Go there, be your charming self,

But leave Turtle and Drama in the car, okay?

I was worried about you, Ari.

You're never late and you always answer your cell.

Yeah, well, I had a little problem with the ferrari.

- already? - yep.

I was involved in some illegal street-racing.

- oooh, sexy. - with adam davies.

- ewww, gross. - yep, and I lost so I owe him 100 bucks.

Oh, fuck adam davies.

I'd like to see him come here and try and collect.

Well, my confidence grows tenfold knowing that you have my back, Lloyd.

But I don't welch. So here is $100.

Please put it in a brown paper bag

Along with a nice big pile of shit

And send it over there.

- excuse me-- - human shit, Lloyd.

- right now. - that is really disgusting, Ari.

No, really disgusting is going to be

The "american psycho"

I am going to perform on you if you don't do that right fucking now.

- what about doggy poo? - human shit, Lloyd!

Yours, if it's easier. Otherwise, go camp out in the men's bathroom

Or the women's bathroom, whichever will have you, but I need a specimen.

- what? - Eric: that's a nice greeting

The miller gold agency's got going on there, Ari.

Listen, if I knew it was you, it would have been a lot worse.

- what? - I want you to know that we're on our way

To try to land vince a sweet 16 appearance gig.

jesus!

Yeah, meanwhile the script I sent you last week is on its way to ed norton.

- really? - yeah, "nine brave souls."

- amanda liked it. - yeah, we all know what great taste she has.

- vince needs a job, Ari. - I understand that, Eric.

But you need to understand that you are the reason he doesn't have one.

Vince needs a studio movie. Not an indie.

So don't waste my fucking time with the possibility

That maybe ed norton might read or may not read some fucking script

That may or may not be good because some half-ass agent

Who couldn't carry my sperm sample likes it.

- okay? - yeah, okay.

- does he have anything? - yeah, he's got a few leads.

What was he yelling about?

Ah, you know Ari. He's just stressed.

- everybody seems to be today. - the moon must be in retrograde.

- man: yes? - how are you doing?

I have Vincent Chase for the sweet 16 meet.

Come through. And please take your shoes off at the front door.

I'm not taking off my fucking shoes.

What's the problem, Drama? You make people do it at your place.

I just broke up with someone, Turtle. I'm exhausted.

Man: mr. Levine is waiting for you. This way, please.

Videogame: you're about to die with blood on.

Let's get him!

Mr. Bob, your 2:00 is here.

Bob: oh, welcome. Please come in.

Oh, guys, I'm so happy you're here. Bob levine.

- how are you? - Eric murphy.

- nice to meet you. - vince.

- please, of course. - how are you, bob?

- how are you? Nice to see you. - hey.

Hey, mitchell, say hello to mr. Chase and his friends.

- hey. - I'm so happy you're here in my home.

I'm such a fan.

Now who wants some Johnny blue?

- Johnny does. - I'm driving.

- why not? - I'm working.

- all right. - in fact, make mine a double.

- coming up. - hello, everybody, hello.

- I thought we said 2:00? - we came right from shauna's office.

All right, it's 2:30 and I am extremely pressed for time.

That zac efron really fucked me over.