House

Nice tie.

Are you at least gonna call the cops this time?

No, then they might stop.

Just when they're beginning to, uh...

Capture my eyes.

Come on, Dad. Let Rodrigo do this.

Your arthritis is obviously--

I can pick up my own lawn.

You know, if you wanted,

you could put an end to all this.

Oh, of course.

There are other ways to save the company.

I'm only moving it to China

because I'm craving egg foo yung.

You know, I just got off the phone

with some investors.

Yes, and they want a controlling interest.

We get to stay here with the people

who've been so loyal to this company.

Everyone keeps their jobs.

It's been a family business for 120 years.

There's no way that I'm letting...

What's wrong?

Dad?

I need you to drive me to a doctor.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

This would totally suck.

Patient's visited China a lot recently.

What about the JBE virus?

Why don't you check his vaccination record

before you make another stupid...

O.M.F.G.

50% off cupcakes.

How sick is the patient?

'Cause this expires today.

Central serous retinopathy?

It's linked to type "A" personalities.

Funduscopic exam was normal.

If you don't let me read my email,

then I won't be able to read the email to the entire staff.

From your ex-boss.

Thank you.

"Last month, I had an incident

"involving another P.P.T.H. employee.

"Though I can't speak to the details of the case

"while my disciplinary hearing is pending,

"I want you to know that I have completed

"voluntary sexual harassment training.

"And on a personal note,

"if my actions caused anyone distress,

I sincerely apologize."

You are so fired.

What? He apologized.

What? Because he said he apologized?

He's saying he's sorry that someone,

namely you, overreacted-- namely, by punching him.

He grabbed my behind.

Word is it was a celebratory slap

after you completed your first-ever

AVM embolization.

He grabbed it, he apologized for grabbing it,

and now he's taking classes because he grabbed it.

The classes make him sympathetic.

Which, in turn, makes his unrepentant attacker...

Evil.

Which, in turn,

in turn, makes you so fired.

100 bucks says I won't get fired.

Oh, you don't wanna bet me.

Oh, my.

You're fired.

I--the bet is--

- But I thought-- - After--

- then-- - I--oh--

if only...

The bet's that I'll get fired after my hearing!

I'll take that action too,

but you're already a C-note in the hole.

You're late.

Considering I don't work here,

arguably, I'm early.

Pearl earrings?

Knee-length dress.

That's not a very shameful walk of shame.

I was at a job interview.

I hope it went terribly.

Thad Barton?

We only help rich white guys?

I am an equal opportunity exploiter.

I only help those who can help myself.

I have a department to re-fund.

Atropine poisoning.

He's moving his company to China,

and his employees are hanging him in effigy.

Could have moved on to the real thing.

Pupils are normal.

Thyrotoxicosis?

Not...A terrible idea.

I'm gonna go give him P.T.U.

and T.L.C.

I have no idea what that second one stands for.

Things don't seem small anymore, they--

I woke up from a nap and, uh,

everything went from really small to really huge.

Well, then, these giant balls of medicine

are not gonna work anymore.

The change actually makes things simpler.

Your occipital lobe is acting up,

giving you a migraine.

I don't have a headache.

Not all migraines present that way.

It's called Alice in Wonderland syndrome.

Seriously?

I never joke.

Good news is,

it's treatable with medication.

Bad news is...

It can make you very, very late

for very important dates.

I sometimes joke.

Thank you, Doctor.

Well, if you really want to thank me,

my department's not really a department.

'Cause my boss says he doesn't have the money.

Which provides a nice contrast...with you.

We're trying to find money in our budget

so we don't have to move our operations overseas.

I get it. Answer's no.

Shouldn't have said anything.

I'm just glad that the symptoms showed up

before you left for China.

'Cause I'm not sure the doctors over there

would be so optimistic,

considering...

What are you guys talking about?

Oh, just how different the two cultures are.

For example, our opinions on mental illness.

Here, it's considered a normal and treatable condition.

Is everything okay?

Everything's fine.

I could have you checked into a facility

that exclusively treats mental disorders.

How does that sound?

Whatever's gonna get him better.

Let's try the medication first.

You're hired!

Oh, you guys are gonna love Doctors Chase and Taub.

Keep your Nazi sentiments quiet around the little one.

You got the money?

How?

Patient's a smart businessman.

He's destroying thousands of jobs.

Jobs are not being destroyed.

They're being relocated.

The fact that you see that as inherently bad

means you're an irrational patriot.

To put it another way, a patriot.

Patriotism is natural.

We've always relied on our tribes to keep us safe.

It's helpful for society

if its members have positive feelings

about that society.

Iranian women.

Drag Queens in Uganda.

Patriotism is nothing but loyalty to real estate,

real estate that's been conquered 800 times

by 800 different regimes with 800 different cultures.

But each time, it's just the best.

I claim this burger

in the name of Queen Isabella of Spain.

I'll go check on the patient.

I have Hepatitis C.

She got it from me.

Hey, how's my dad doing?

Ah, great.

His vision's back to normal,

and if he remains asymptomatic through the night,

we'll be able to release him in the morning.

Any chance that could happen before 9:00?

Our stock dropped a couple points today

with the news that he's sick.

I would love for him to get out of here

before the market opens.

No offense, but, uh,

I think it's terrible your dad's closing down

all your American operations.

I don't think he's moving the company out of greed.

He's moving it out of grief.

My mom, she died four months ago.

Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and...

It's been hard for him-- living in their house,

driving down the same streets.

I mean, he's constantly reminded of her.

Dad?

I need an intubation kit in here!

What's going on?

Angiography showed a hemorrhagic site

in the left lower lobe.

I think it could be hyperviscosity syndrome.

Are you sure Foreman's okay with this thing