Eastbound & Down

Shit!

Care for an autograph?

That's me and you, Saturday night.

We found Eduardo Sanchez.

Who is Eduardo Sanchez?

He's a mystery best left for another day.

Maria, my sister-in-law, she's available.

She is?

I have feelings for your mom.

I'm ready to commit to the both of you.

Hey, Kenny! Nobody gives a shit for you.

What are you doing?

Finally, motherfuckers! Finally!

Whoo!

Chapter 10: Making the world your bitch.

Once again, I'm with the hottest chick in town.

Buying the most expensive fashions.

Dining in the fanciest food places.

Riding around on goddamn Jet Skis.

Raining trim.

Hallucinogens.

Jet Skis again.

Throwing heat.

And gettin' laid.

La Flama Blanca!

Did this tale end the way I thought it would?

Probably not.

But as long as I win,

who gives a shit?

Boom! Look at that, huh?

Gracias, mis amigos.

Thank you for fucking pill-os.

Kenny.

You got a minute?

What the hell is all this shit?

This is the wall of the immortals.

These men have all done what you are trying to do and succeeded.

They played hard enough in Copales to get to America.

I never heard of any of these motherfuckers.

Not even that amigo there?

Who e fuck is that, Pancho Villa? I don't know.

When he was 12 years old, he pitched five no-hit innings

in the Little League World Series.

Ooh. Big deal. I did the same thing in the AAU.

Well, maybe for a right hander, but this kid threw with both.

Wow, so homeboy was double banging it.

Yep. Props.

Then he got drafted by Minnesota.

Made the team as a 19-year-old.

Playing ball like he'd always dreamed.

Then he started having too much fun with the girls, huh?

The drinks, speed balls.

Before he knew it, it was all gone.

What's he up to now?

He watches the field,

imagines that things turned out differently.

Mm-mm. No thank you.

I don't like to hear depressing shit about no-name dickheads.

This shit's fucking up my vibe.

Why you telling me all this bullshit?

You know, Kenny, I admire the fact

that you're trying to get back to the majors,

but you gotta stop prancing around and start playing ball.

Prancing? Roger, name one time when I've ever fucking pranced.

Kenny Powers doesn't prance.

Look, if you want to take it to the next step,

then you need to get serious.

You fucking prance around here.

Playing for this team's not a joke.

Not to me, to the players, or to them.

I don't think it's a joke. I never said it was a joke.

If you got something you wanna say then just say it.

You can save us a lot of time

with this fucking pointless history lesson

in this goddamn creepy unimpressive fucking hall.

I don't like it in here. It's gross

Thanks for nothing.

Gracias, gracias.

Next song I wanna dedicate

to a friend of mine, a very special friend.

Boyfriend. You mean boyfriend.

She means boyfriend, everybody. Me.

A friend of mine, La Flama Blanca.

Ooh, I love this song.

Does she know you don't wanna be called La Flama Blanca?

She can call me whatever she wants, Stevie.

Look at that brown caboose. Ooh.

I wanna talk to you about something,

but I don't want you to get mad.

I can already tell I don't like the sounds of this.

Spill it. Well,

I have taken it upon myself to reopen the Eduardo Sanchez case.

Uh-uh. Nope.

You are not authorized to do that. Shut it down.

I already told you. I found happiness.

I no longer seek the answers that Eduardo potentially holds.

Well, then I guess it doesn't matter that I have found him.

Say what? Mm-hm.

Well, not that I care, because I don't,

and you obviously should not have reopened the case,

but where is he?

He's in Hollywood, baby.

I did a little searching online and it turns out homeboy

directed the Blair Witch Project.

Heh. That's not him.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the guy I'm looking for

didn't direct the fucking Blair Witch Project.

Just forget you ever heard the name Eduardo Sanchez.

Forget that he supposedly lives in a village near here.

Forget that he is not Mexican, but a gringo.

Eduardo Sanchez is a white man that lives near here?

Stop digging for clues, Stevie.

Finding Eduardo Sanchez is the last thing I care about.

All I care about is this big brown ass right in front of me.

I wish I was your dick, man.

That's your dick butt-fucking her, man.

Oh. Hey, Maria.

Entre. Entre.

Let me help you.

Maria,

I just, I want to apologize to you

in case I've been aggressive in any of my actions towards you.

I just been walking around in Kenny's shoes for so long now

that I'm starting to become exactly like him,

which is awesome and super badass.

I just, I hope I haven't intimidated you

with my alpha-ness.

Maria, don't.

I was just trying to connect with you.

Oh.

Wow!

Wow. This neighborhood is unbelievable.

Right? It's almost like we're not even in Mexico.

Imagine if I really did become a huge singer

and Tony and I could afford a place here.

Imagine if all three of us could.

That's why I booked you this studio time.

With the right man guiding you all your dreams can come true.

Yay!

Wow, this is so pro.

Yeah, this, uh, used to be my parents' bedroom

and now it's a recording studio. It's really cool.

It's got everything you need to make an album.

It's got Pro Tools with two farm cards,

autotone monitors with DBX compressors.

This is my sound tech, Estrella.

How are you, man?

Shh. It's okay.

And right here we have, uh, two booths.

It's got everything you need, you know,

like computers, candles.

Oh, it's... It's wonderful.

Thank you so much, Sebastian.

You're welcome.

And thank me too. Heh.

So listen, is there anything that I could, uh...

I can hear or listen to that, uh...

Uh, I have some sketches.

I was working on something the other night, but...

Do it. You should unleash on him.

Show him what you're working with.

Okay, well, so here I go.

Mm.

That's it. That's it. That's it.

I don't even would need to hear nothing else.

That's the single right there.

Maybe we should hear a few other things.

Maybe a song about how a new dude's in your life

and turned your life around. Maybe something like that.

No, that's gonna pop off the speakers. That right there.

Can we just try? Can we, does it hurt to try?

That might be what you're responding to

is kind of the tempo and shit, but it's more like:

You know, like something that's more in that vein.

Okay. Um, I'll try it. I'll try it.

Um, okay, it's... Okay.

It kind of pops. It kind of pops. That has a pop.

The wording is a little off.

See, the other one made me happy.

I'm not trying to be the one who doesn't like the song,

because I know this is... So you like it?

But I don't like it. But if you guys like it

then let's go with this one.

Who knows? Maybe it'll end up being a b-side.

Okay. Who knows?

Come see Kenny fucking Powers