Powerless

This just in, Atlantis, home of Aquaman

and character actor William H. Macy.,

has been attacked only a week before Sinking Day,

the national holiday commemorating

the sinking of their ancient city.

Ron, I didn't know that you and William H. Macy

- are from the same place. - Mm-hmm.

- What are you talking about? - Oh, I'm from Atlantis.

I thought you said you were from Atlanta.

No, that's Donald Glover.

And it might be racist that you heard that.

Classic white person making white person assumptions.

I'm half Filipino.

I thought you said you were half Philadelphia?

- What the hell is half Philadelphia? - I don't know.

All right, let's just agree that we're all racist.

Oh, we're not racist.

We just don't listen to each other.

Filipinos are notoriously bad listeners.

- What did you just say? - Case in point.

Emily, I just got the latest sales report.

Tell me if you think that is acceptable.

It says sales have gone up 35% since January.

Okay, cool, that's what I hoped it said.

I'm not a big chart guy.

So I think that kind of effort deserves a reward.

Well, thank you, Van.

Which is why I'm telling my father

it is time I was promoted to the Gotham office.

Wait, what? Why would you get the promotion?

January is the month that I started.

Meaning what?

That's when sales started going up.

Meaning what?

I think we can point to one main reason.

Right! This guy.

Emily, you're great at your job,

but you need to remember that I am "da boss,"

which means that it is your job to execute my vision.

And my vision is for sales to go up,

and they did.

So you're going to sit with your dad,

and honestly say you deserve a promotion?

Van Senior is on the board of Wayne Industries,

a scratch golfer,

a devoted husband,

and a dedicated lover to several mistresses.

He doesn't have time to sit with me.

I was hoping to fly to Gotham and talk to him

while we walked to where his Testarossa was parked.

- And I could. - The whole time?

- Hey, Ron! - Hey, Alex!

- Hey, boss. - Hey.

Why does Alex keep calling me boss?

- That's so annoying. - Man, what do you mean?

It's just a term of endearment.

No, it's a condescending thing to say to someone

that you don't respect.

Hey, boss.

Pow!

There's something off about Alex.

Yeah, Alex gets me off too.

Wait, what did you say?

Breaking news flash. A school bus full of children

has just gone through the railing

of the Charm City Bridge,

and is teetering 400 feet above the bay.

Our own Marv Wolfman is on the scene.

Sorry, boss, there's something I need to attend to.

Looks like new guy has diarrhea.

Not so attractive now, huh, Jackie?

Nah, I'm still in.

What's this? Coming out of the sky,

a man in a golden helmet is lifting the bus to safety.

_

Hey, now, we all just saw Alex run out of here, and then...

- you don't think... - About him naked?

Yes, I do.

Okay, Ace Chemicals is gonna be here in a sec.

Let's run this one more time.

What is the greatest generator of supervillains

aside from bad parenting?

- Being bitten by things. - Laboratory mishaps.

Losing the popular vote,

but somehow winning the election.

Hey, guys, come on.

Ron, your line is,

"It's people falling into vats of chemicals."

Do not give me a line reading, Emily.

It is insulting.

Ace Chemicals is our biggest client.

I wanna make sure it is perfect.

But then my dad got them to drop the charges!

But we're still banned from Lake Havasu,

you piece of .

Emily, let me introduce you

to this piece of right here.

- This is Royce Kane. - Nice to meet you.

Ready for the presentation, you pieces of ?

Oh, my God.

I am so sorry. I-I just...

Look at you!

Just busting your chops!

All right, let's talk vats.

Okay, so last year, flaws in our safety grate

resulted in roughly one clown villain every three months.

So we changed the material on the grate

- to an acid-proof alloy. - I'm a little confused.

We're not interested in mechanical grates.

We wanna upgrade to a force field system.

And I explained all this in my email.

Oh... now, well, it sounds like somebody dropped the ball.

Who did you send the email to?

- You. - Huh?

Oh, it probably got caught in my spam filter.

You responded, "Sounds good,"

with a gif of two dogs humping.

That does sound like me.

You know, this isn't the first time

that you've dropped the ball.

Normally, I'd let it go because our families are close,

but I've got a company to run.

I'm sorry, but we're going to LexCorp.

That's it? I don't even get to say my line?

I mean, this is my sixth grade production

of "Anne Frank" all over again!

You might have heard that we suffered a little setback.

Little? Jackie, how big was that account?

$75 million annually.

$75 million!

I'm, uh, struggling.

Thank you.

One of many accounts.

Wayne Security.

Look, it's great that you can mess up

and there's never any consequences,

but the rest of us don't have your dad to take care of us.

How dare you. I am a grown man.

I'm not taken care of by my "daddy."

Van, your father's helicopter just landed on the roof.

Daddy?

Here in Charm City?

Did he land angrily?

Oh, it's an honor to work with me?

Well, thank you, Bill and Melinda Gates.

Uh, hey, Dad. Bye.

I just got off the phone with the Kanes.

When I started here, this division was nothing,

so what did I do?

I opened up the phone-book.

I started at the beginning.

Guess which client I landed first.

AARP.

AAA?

- Aaron Brothers? - It's Ace Chemicals.

How can you not get that from the context?

- Oh. - I created that relationship.

I nurtured it for 30 years,

and you just pissed it away.

You don't even like the Kanes. You said yourself,

they have no understanding of marina etiquette.

They christened their yacht with Korbel.

You are a turd in my toilet, and you can't even swim.

I can float.

I have overlooked a lot of your transgressions, kid,

but it's now time you face some consequences.

What are you gonna do? Take away the boat?

The ski-in, ski-out chalet?

Not the trust fund.

Oh, no.

Something much more important than that.

The last remaining shred of respect that I had for you.

What?

You wanted to see me?

In a way, I envy you, Emily.

Your father is a poor, so it doesn't matter

if you have his respect.

Okay, you know what?

You could learn a lot from my dad.

He had a flower shop,

and through thick and thin, he kept it open.

He always said, "Put in the work and the rest will come."

My dad always said, "Buy your mistress the same perfume as your wife."

- Why am I here? - You are going to help me

regain my father's respect.

And do you know how we are going to do that?

No. How?

God damn it!

Jackie, send Teddy in!

- Hey, hold on, hold on. - Hold on! Hold on!

Why would you care what I think?

I mean, I only execute your vision, right?

I have no vision of my own.

I see what is happening here.

Hmm.

What do you want?

I wanna be promoted to SVP of Research and Development,

and I want that mug.

But how will I know I'm "da boss" if I don't have "da mug"?

Look, you lost a big client.