The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp

Mr. Wilkins?

Three cents, jackknife and a watch.

That right?

That's right.

Sign that receipt.

Boy, you can sure give a man a hangover with that

gunbarrel of yours.

Well, it's better than being shot, isn't it?

Yeah, I reckon.

Thank you, Marshal.

Don't come back.

Don't worry.

I won't.

Mr. James.

You have one, two, three, four, five, six...

and a dime.

Rabbit's foot and a comb.

Sign it.

Mr. Clements.

Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty...

a hundred and ten...

and twelve cents.

Well, it looks like you didn't spend much, Mr. Clements. You're lucky.

Sure.

Real lucky.

Spending my vacation in this hole.

Oh, it's not too bad. The food's pretty good.

Listen to me, Earp.

You made a monkey out of me, and I'll be back.

And I'm not coming alone, either.

My brothers will be with me.

And you'll wish you had never seen me.

Clements, you made a monkey out of yourself.

You didn't check your guns, and you had plenty of time to do it.

Now, as for your brothers, I took care of Manning,

and I'll be very happy to meet the rest of 'em.

I'll tell 'em.

Yeah, you do that.

Now, here's your gun.

But I don't want you to load it and put it on until you get in the outskirts

You throwing me out of town, huh?

That's right.

When you cool off, you can come back in town if you want

But remember to check that.

Come here.

Sign your receipt.

Like I said, I'll be back.

I'll be here.

Clements.

You slam that door and I will throw you back in the cell.

That young Clements is going to turn out even worse than his brothers.

If he lives long enough.

Ah, his pride's hurt, that's all. He'll get over it.

Marshal!

There's a funny looking dude over at the Wichita,...

says he wants to see you.

A dude?

Yeah, and packing the biggest gun I ever saw.

You oughta see the size of it.

Yeah, I guess I oughta.

Sam, check those out for me, will ya?

Yes, sir.

I'll be back in a little while.

So Earp came from Ellsworth to Wichita

Wichita several months ago, huh?

Yup.

Why did he leave Ellsworth? They run him out?

They insulted him, so he left.

He's very sensitive.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Now, never mind the sarcasm.

I just want the facts, Doctor.

I want to know everything there is to know about Wyatt Earp.

And now what's the matter?

Nothin', nothin'.

I was just wonderin' if you'd fit a regular sized coffin

or if I should have one

specially made to order...

a little wider across the beam.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Now you stop talking like that or...

Or what?

or you stop drinking out of my bottle.

Now, are you ready to answer my questions?

All right.

Hmmm.

I'll answer all I can.

Now, how many men did he kill?

Who?

Well, who do you think? Wyatt Earp.

Oh, him.

None.

None as far as I know.

All right.

None?

Well, what kind of a frontier marshal is that?

I think I better let the marshal himself

answer you on that part.

Are you Wyatt Earp?

Yes, sir.

Well, I've come a long way to meet you.

My name is Buntline, Ned Buntline.

You heard of me, of course.

I don't think I have, Mr. Buntline.

Oh, you must have.

I write dime novels about the West.

I've written hundreds of them.

What's the matter with you people out here, don't you read?

Well, I was just about to ask you the same question.

Can you?

Well, I...

Sir, you are addressing a man whose command of English

is the envy of...

A simple no or yes will be sufficient, Mr. Buntline.

Well, of course I read, you idiot.

And you're under arrest.

Under arrest? What for?

For that.

For what?

Oh, I'm a little nearsighted...

but I can't see a thing...

Oh!

I beg your pardon, Marshal.

Ulp!

If you don't mind...

This isn't loaded

Well, the law makes no distinction between loaded and unloaded guns, Mr. Buntline.

It isn't even mine.

Just read the inscription on it.

What's this all about?

It's a gratuity, Mister Earp.

It's a small token of my admiration for you

as the most stalwart of the...of the...

It's not true that you haven't killed anybody here in Wichita, is it?

Oh, it doesn't make any difference.

People will never believe that.

They believe what I tell them to believe.

Marshal, this is your lucky day.

Mr. Buntline, I, uh...

I think you've been drinking.

Well, of course, I have.

That's what a saloon's for, isn’t it?

Well, I think you'd better come along with me.

Well, I certainly will.

That's what I've traveled 2000 miles to do.

Mt. Earp,

you are one of them.

I've undergone a great many inconveniences to make this trip.

I, I, I left my favorite razor back in Boston.

I forgot it.

Now I can't shave until I get back home.

Why not?

Because I'm sensitive.

Oh!

And believe me, sir, I didn't leave a luxurious home

in New England just for the trip.

I came here for one purpose...

and one purpose only...

to see Marshal Wyatt Earp of Wichita...

and to offer him fame and wealth...

beyond his wildest dreams.

Mr. Buntline, I still haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.

Well, now, surely the thought of fabulous wealth,

complete financial independence,

surely that's a thought worth exploring, is it not?

Go ahead and explore it.

Smoke, gentlemen? Especially made,

cost more than a dollar each.

No, thanks.

Are the windows open? I'll take one.

Umm.

Mr. Earp,

have you ever heard of a man named William F. Cody?

Buffalo Bill? Sure.

You know who made Buffalo Bill?

Do you know who changed him from a nondescript,

practically penniless hunter

into an international figure of fame?

No.

Do you know...?

Do you know this isn't a bad cigar?

Thank you.

Do you know who made Buffalo Bill the idol of every female in America?

Do you know who enabled him to earn

50,000 American dollars in less than one year's time?

No., who?

Me. Ned Buntline.

It figures.

And I can do the same thing for you.

I think...your name up on the banner

just like Buffalo Bill's.

Ned Buntline presents his Wild West show

featuring, in person, Wyatt Earp,

the great frontier marshal.

How does that sound to ya?

It sounds ridiculous.

What?

Hmm, maybe I haven't made myself clear.

All you'd have to do would be to...

All I'd have to do is stand up on a stage and make a fool of myself.