Hart of Dixie

Please tell the Governor that BlueBell is not,

and will never be interested in merging with Fillmore.

Fillmore supports the merger.

He's gonna try and take over the whole town.

I have a little boy who gets me up at 5:30 in the morning.

I tried to hang, but I just can't, and I didn't want

to tell you that I'm a tired old loser.

I can handle a tired old loser.

It was really sweet what you said earlier about not being able to resist me.

I mean, I could just stop... resisting.

Lynly and I... we're not going away, so you can bury your head in the sand,

or you can grow up, you can accept it.

You were with George and Tansy. Do you think he still has feelings for her?

Sometimes I think I never should have let you go.

Here's one. "Two bedrooms. Wrap-around porch." Nice.

Uh, "Street parking". I can deal with that.

"Landfill adjacent". And that's a no.

Look, I'm not saying I'm in favor of this merger,

but if BlueBell does become part of Fillmore,

at least we'll have more houses to choose from.

That is not funny.

Look, we have two viable options. Just pick one.

All right, well, fine. I say we go with the one on Oak Street, then.

- What? No, not that one. - So, when you said pick one, you...

Oak Street has termites, okay? I hate bugs.

Even if we tent, I would picture them crawling all over me.

Just, no. No, no.

We need to go with the fixer-upper on Elm.

That house is next to Crickett and Stanley.

Are you kidding me? No, no, I cannot live

near people who sing show tunes all day. I still

have PTSD from the summer I lived below Mandy Patinkin.

- Oh, not this again. - There's still your Aunt Winifred's house.

Now that you're all BFF-y with the Wilkes, maybe she'll rent to us.

No. No, no, no, no. I have been warned about Wicked Winifred.

Vivian says that Cruella de Vil would be a better landlord.

Yeah, but do you remember those built-ins?

I mean, what's a few Dalmatians compared to those built-ins, right?

Look, I finally have a family I like, you know, and I don't want to mess it up.

We'll figure something out.

Aloha, Joel.

Doc. Beautiful day to save BlueBell, don't you think?

Well, you seem chipper.

Well, Vivian's introducing me to little Harley this afternoon.

Yeah, you must be excited to finally have a playdate with an intellectual equal.

Hilarious, Doc, but no. This is a test.

Once I hit it off with the young one, I get to move forward with the mom.

Forward? - Upstairs to the boudoir.

- Ew, gross! - So, you and Vivian haven't, uh...?

Wow, dude, that is, uh... that is unexpected.

Yeah, well, Vivian's, uh... I don't know... different.

I like her.

So I'm trying this new thing. I think people call it dating .

You know, hand holding, taking her out to dinner.

Stuff you see 'em do on The Bachelor.

I even spent hours, literally hours, the other night,

talking to her batty Aunt Winifred.

Are you kidding me?

No, we got into a whole thing about Kenny Rogers' plastic surgery and...

Vivian won't let Joel and I meet Aunt Winifred,

because she says she's awful and mean.

She's not mean. Opinionated, maybe, but hell, she loves me.

Maybe, uh... maybe Vivian just thinks you two are embarrassing.

Season 3, Episode 11 "One More Last Chance"

Thanks to the Governor's sister falling in love with our town,

Lieutenant Governor Alex P. Byrd arrives in BlueBell in less than 48 hours.

I looked him up. Alex Byrd is very handsome.

Oh, Wanda!

Now, he's only gonna be here for two hours,

but I'm sure we can pack in a lot of charm in that tiny little window.

And we will halt this merger by getting Bluebell declared a historic landmark.

- Hmm. That's nearly a plan. - What? You don't think it'll work?

I make a fantastic first impression! How could Vivian be embarrassed of us?

Now, the one challenge that we all face is that, uh, well,

not too many historically significant events have actually happened here.

So, when the Lieutenant Governor arrives,

we're gonna have to put on our best BlueBell smile...

and... and wing it.

And there's the nonsense we all know and love.

We're gonna have to tell him everything that we can think of

that-that might, that just might, convince him of our historic relevance.

Oh. My mom's toilet in her bathroom is really old.

And I mean, I was saving it for Antiques Road Show, but I would be happy to...

No historic commodes, Tom. No. No, no. No.

This visit is of the highest stakes for BlueBell,

which means no fighting, no whining,

no drama.

George and Lynly will hand out your assignments, and I expect

everyone in town square tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. for rehearsal.

Thank you.

Compulsory tomfoolery. I love this place!

Hey, Lynly, you up for another mani-pedi party?

Absolutely. I'll bring snacks.

Uh, well, y'all are hanging out now?

With you busy saving BlueBell, and Tansy broken up with Scooter...

- Oh. You broke up with Scooter? Ah. - You were right. He's a jerk.

- Is us hanging freaking you out? - No!

No, not at all. No.

I-I... I used to date my best friend's ex-wife.

My best friend. But then he was dating my ex-fiancée,

and now you're hanging out with my ex-girlfriend.

It's all part of that BlueBell charm! It is. It's super.

It is super duper. Next!

Hey!

- Oh, sorry I'm late. - Hey, sweetie.

Ooh.

You look marvelous.

Billy Crystal.

- Hey. - Oh. No, we're in a fight.

- We are? - Yes. We are.

Why did you let Wade meet Aunt Winifred...

Who he said is not mean... and not me and Joel?

- Are you ashamed of us? - Okay, Zoe, I'm sorry.

I did sort of mislead you about Winifred. Wade's right; she's not mean.

- But you really can't meet her. - She will hate you.

- What? Why? - Because you're a New Yorker.

She has two exes from New York. She blames the city.

Spreads to Connecticut. And Pennsylvania, north of Route 80. (phone chirps)

Look, I'm so sorry. I know you guys love that house, but she is not gonna budge.

Hey, great news.

The captain of the Fairhope senior slow pitch softball team died.

Which is sad, but they had to forfeit the game

to go to his funeral, and now guess who's playoff bound.

Ooh, game one is tomorrow night!

Tomorrow night is my date with Wade, which I'm very excited about,

and you're gonna take Harley and you're gonna have a sleepover...

Maybe someone else in the family could do it.

Yes.

Joel and I would love to hang out with Harley. I adore that kid.

And he adores you, and so do I.

You're totally saving my life. Thank you.

You're welcome. And if you could mention

the saving the life part to Aunt Winifred...

- She wouldn't care. - Would only hate you more.

: Hi. It's Don Todd, and today we're on Easter Island

- What...? - to learn how to concentrate on our shots

even when people are watching you.

Like, really watching you.

Hey, babe, how was your afternoon with Tansy?

Not so good.

- W-Why? W-What happened? - It wasn't my fault. It was an accident.

There was this whole misunderstanding and...

Hey, Tansy, you in there? Is everything okay?

Do I look okay?

Look what your girlfriend did to my hair!

See, I-I really think she's mad at me.

Wait, you never raced a soapbox derby? Man, we got to change that.

Hey, look, I can help you; I'm good with cars.

Can my car be red with a silver stripe?

Eh, stripes are pretty cool, but what about a lightning bolt?

Hey, Wade?

- Wanna hold my salamander, Cecil? - Heck yeah, come here.

Oh, when he lets you hold Cecil, that means he likes you.

Must run in the family.

Hey, Mom?

Cecil wants ice cream.

Oh, he does? Okay, let me guess, chocolate?

Uh-huh.

- I'll be right back. - Yeah.

Man, he is so cool.

So, uh, Cecil's got pretty discriminating tastes, huh?

What else does he like?

Not you.

- Come again? - He hates you, everything about you.

What's that?

Oh.

He says he's gonna kill you in your sleep unless you break up with my mom.

Well, that is a, uh, very articulate salamander. (Chuckles)

Look at these cute diaper bags.

Oh.

Aw. Look, custom-made diapers.

Oh, Lord, what are they gonna think of next?

What's wrong with them?

Well, you're gonna use about ten of those a day

for the first few months, because basically all babies do

is they eat, poop, sleep, repeat.

Well, thank you for that inspiring vision of parenthood.

Honey, I'm just trying to prepare you for the reality,

and believe me, you are gonna love all the poop.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I am supposed to go through our medical records

to see if anyone of historical note

has ever actually been treated here.

And I don't think Delma Lewis counts,

even though she has been to 200 Dolly Parton concerts.

Well, I'll see you later, sweetie.

- Who's that? - Oh, that's the Lieutenant Governor.

Does it look okay here? 'Cause we're tryin' to kiss butt.

That's the Lieutenant Governor?

I know. Way too hot to be a politician.

Yeah.

Way too hot.

We went through this last night.

Don't we have better things to talk about today?

The Lieutenant Governor is arriving. Lavon needs us.

Right, I totally agree, um...

There are more important things to talk about,

and I have a lot of work to do,

but if you could just explain to me one more time

how you accidentally burned off Tansy's hair.