Who's Your Caddy?

Nice ride

- What’s up, my guy? - Whoa, C-Note, Im a huge fan

- Is that right? Okay - Yeah

What’s up, G? Hey, who on tour this week?

Gnarls Barkley

Can you hook my boy up with some backstage passes?

I think he tryin to get his pimp thing together

Hey, thanks a lot

All right? Peace, buddy

- Hey - How you doing?

You still breast feed?

Well, it ain't the Southside

- No - Sure ain’t

You got to be kidding

Is this the caliber of person we want in the club?

With all due respect, Mr Cummings,

he was the President of United States

An unfortunate accident

And besides, I cant stand the wife

Denied Next?

Oh, hmm, dykes on spikes

I’m led to believe he does have a very successful talk show

Denied Next?

What’s happening, players?

What’s the burning in here? - What y'all smokin on?

- Blip pow - All right

I call you back

And how you doin?

May I help you?

Yes, I want to get an application for membership

You don't just apply for membership here

You have to be invited

Your eyes blue?

Ooh, I bet they be tryin to kiss you in the mouth

Denied

Mr Cummings, we have a problem

There’s no problem

- Uh Hell, no

That ain’t the Rev

I didn’t know Al Sharpton was a member What’s happening?

We in the right place?

How may we help you?

Im in desperate search of an application, sir

Uh, well take them to the Caddy Master

We always have a spot in the yard

for an enterprising young man who can carry a bag

- What? - What?

Did he call you a nigger?

- Uh... - You want me to carry a bag?

If you’d prefer, you could work in the stables

- Horses?! - How are you with a shovel?

- Shovel?! - He just said,

Nigger, shovel that horse shit

- Meto shovel horse shit? - Its honest work

G, could you please school this nine-ball on who hes talking to?

Yes, I will Gentlemen, step back!

Shout it

You are in the presence of a multi-platinum greatness

Preach that shit!

The impresario of hip-hop

- Bam! - The godfather of modern rap

- Bam! - The artist formerly known as

Bam!

- Tell it, girl - Christopher C Hawkins,

the one, the only, C-Note

Southside

Southside!

Im sorry, Mr Note

I... I don't watch much MTV

As you can see,

were in the middle of reviewing candidates

for membership, so

Well, we just in time Sign me up

Im afraid it doesn't work that way

You see, we have a very stringent application process

Stringent

Can I get a stringent on the rocks?

Okay, G, could you please show him some love for me one time

- How's a million? - Memberships only 500,000

Keep the rest as a gratuity,

you know, for letting us circumvent your stringent process

You feel me?

No, I don't feel you

This is a very exclusive club

We have a five-year waiting list

A five-year waiting list

of over 600 very qualified candidates

Very qualified

We only have 180 members

I can assure you, Mr Note,

there is not a chance in hell that you will be number 181

You feel me?

That’s cold, my brother

Im not your brother

That’s some astringent shit

Please show Mr Note and his friends to the exit

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo Hey, this some bullshit

Were gonna talk to Johnny Cochran about this

Hes dead

Oh, wait a minute You killed Johnny Cochran?

You moron

Hes dead?

Lets ride

- Lets go - This is astringent

- All this is astringent Yeah, we comin back

We comin back with more black people

Well be talkin to you soon

Step outside, well be astringent

Come on here, girl Thank you

Great party house

on one of the best streets in Carolina Pines

Location, location, location, right?

Oh, it has a six-car garage, plenty of parking for all your guests,

and more square footage than you’ll know what to do with

Oh, Tom Cruise lives two doors down

His lot size is much smaller

Now, cant you just hear the blender whipping up a batch of Margaritas

while you’re kicking back, catching some rays with your bitches

- Your what? - Bitches

Watch your mouth, buddy

Oh, bitches, pretty girls, I get it Im down with that

I could just smell those lines being cut Mmm

Are you pickin up what Im puttin down?

You feel me, don’t ya? Yeah

All right, lets move on

If I haven’t sold you already, give me one more chance

because this is the pièce de rèsistance

You have the entire Carolina Pines Golf and Country Club

right here in your back yard

Oh, and that...

that right there is the 17th hole,

made famous when Jack Nicklaus called it the

Best hole in all of golf

Yes, you’re a fan

Everybody knows Jacks the man

Yeah, but all about Tiger

- Hes so cute - Hey, G, how we looking?

That was my contact at the County Registrars office

Everything checks out We good

All right Well take it, all cash offer

Tell your client I need to close by the end of business tomorrow

- Can you do that? - Oh, fabulous

You are really going to spice things up around here

You bring the sugar Fantastic

- Honey - Hmm?

I have a lesson with the golf pro today

That’s fine, honey

Just keep your head down and keep your eyes on the ball

What do you think about what Im wearing?

Uh, yeah its perfect

Ugh

I think I wear this

it wont restrict my swing

Well, that’s perfect, honey

Just remember,

keep your head down and your eyes on the ball

So when will you make a decision?

Within the next three weeks

Well, I think I speak for everyone here at Carolina Pines

when I say we would love to host the US Open

We did have a successful tournament here,

the year that Jack Nicklaus shot a 62 on the last day

Oh, yeah, he had a good round

its only two strokes off my course record

Did I ever tell you about that?

Just last week

- Never grows old, sir - Yeah

Did you hear something?

Uh, I think its coming from the 17th, over there

Come on, girls, give it to me now

Stay close

What the hell are you doing in my golf course?

Shootin a music video What it look like?