Firefly

Did you ever read the works of Shan Yu?

Shan Yu the psychotic dictator?

Yep.

Fancied himself quite the warrior poet.

Wrote volumes on war, torture...

the limits of human endurance.

That's nice.

He said, "Live with a man 40 years.

"Share his house, his meals. Speak on every subject.

"Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge.

And on that day, you will finally meet the man."

- What if you don't live near a volcano? - I expect he was being poetical.

Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose. Tell me you're not a fan.

I'm just wondering if they were...

the people who did this to your sister.

The government did this to her.

A government is a body of people usually notably ungoverned.

Now you're quoting the captain.

I'm just wondering if they put her through this...

just to see how much she could take.

- "To truly meet her," as Shan Yu would have said. - No.

The more I see, the more I think their purpose was very specific.

And look at this, the pattern.

Besides, if all they cared about was hurting River, they wouldn't still be after her.

- But she's doing better? - I've tried a couple different medications.

She's sleeping better. But nothing really stable.

I'll keep trying. I've certainly got enough drugs on hand.

Yes, I'd forgotten. You're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.

Got your next heist planned?

No.

But I'm thinking about growing a big, black mustache.

I'm a traditionalist.

Halt, please.

So, now we are past, uh, preliminaries, the little questions.

Why you skim from protection fund.

How you could betray my trust.

This we are past.

Now we get to the real questions...

about who you truly are.

I'm sorry, sir.

I get to heart of matter, and always interruptions.

One of our long-ranges picked up a read on the other side of the world.

Might be Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds's ship.

Oh... oh, this is exciting news.

Send a team. Bring him here to me.

- Very exciting. - Yes, sir.

Now, we get to spend some time...

finding out about your true self.

- Tell me. -

Are you familiar with the works of Shan Yu?

~ Take my love, take my land ~

~ Take me where I cannot stand ~

~I don't care, I'm still free ~

~ You can't take the sky from me ~

~ Take me out to the black ~

~ Tell them I ain't comin'back ~

~ Burn the land and boil the sea ~

~ You can't take the sky from me ~

~ There's no place I can be ~

~ Since I've found serenity ~

~ But you can't take the sky from me ~~

- - River!

I said yes already. Where's the outstanding issue?

The counselor is an important political figure and a very private person.

So he visits you here instead of you going to his place, fine. Is the ship not clean enough?

I just want the counselor to feel comfortable.

And when I say "comfortable," I mean "totally alone."

I love the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots. Shut up!

There's nobody sets foot on my boat that I don't meet him.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna start any sword fights. I'm over that phase.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep the others from ogling.

One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up.

- She took my apple. - Jayne bought a crate of them.

- And this one's mine. - Not anymore.

Okay.

No power in the 'verse can stop me.

These really are the genuine article. I could get used to being rich.

It's Jayne being so generous with his cut that confuses and frightens me.

It does kind of freeze the blood.

- Zoe, how come you always cut your apples? - You do?

Her and the captain both. Whenever we get fresh fruit...

- they neverjust munch on them. - You know what a Griswald is?

- It's a grenade. - About the size of a battery.

It responds to pressure.

Our platoon was stuck in a trench outside of New Kashmir during the winter campaign.

More than a week, completely cut off...

and the Alliance entrenched not 10 yards away.

We even got to talking to 'em, yelling across insults and jokes and such.

'Cause no ammo to speak of, no orders, so what are you gonna do?

We mentioned that we were out of rations, and 1 0 minutes later...

a bunch of apples rained into the trench.

And they grew into a big tree, and they all climbed up the tree into a magical land...

with unicorns and a harp.

Blew off their heads, huh?

Captain said, "Wait." But they were so hungry.

Don't make much noise.Just little pops and there's three guys...

that kind of just end at the rib cage.

But these apples are healthsome and good.

Yeah, grenades cost extra.

We are about 20,000 miles from our last drop, people.

Then we can take a break and start thinking about spending...

- some of this money. - All right.

- Could have made more. - That wasn't a bad idea, Wash...

but eliminating the middleman...

- never as simple as it sounds. - You heard about--

About 50% of the human race is middlemen...

and they don't take kindly to being eliminated.

In this quadrant, we play nice. Got enemies enough as it is.

So, when you said that you didn't get a chance to tell the captain my idea--

Mm-hmm.

What you actually meant...

was that you told him my idea, he rejected it out of hand...

and you didn't argue the point or even give it another thought.

- I gave, honey. I-I-- - And then came the lying to me about it.

Which for me is sort of the highlight of this little adventure.

Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?

- You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lamby toes. - I didn't want to upset you.

- What did you think of it? - Of what?

My idea. Call the local M.D.s.

Forget the fence. Go straight to the source.

Better prices, and we know the drugs get to the right people.

The captain thinks it'll get back to someone,just cause trouble.

Was I ever not asking what the captain thought?

- Well, I tend to agree with him. - Tend to or have to?

I love that you two are old army buddies. You have wacky stories with rib cages in them...

But could you have an opinion of your own, please?

You're losing the high ground here, sweetcakes.

I'm sure you and Mal will take that hill and fortify it--

I thought your plan was too risky.

- I thought. - Then tell me.

I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it.

Don't hide behind Mal 'cause you know he'll shoot it down for you.

- Tell me. - Right.

'Cause what this marriage needs is one more shouting match.

No, what this marriage needs is one less husband.

Right now it's kind of crowded.

Whoa.

.

- How you doing? - I threw up.

I'm sorry. It's a side effect.

We just have to find the right treatment for you.

How do you feel now?

Going. Going back, like...

apple bits coming back up.

Chaos.

But you felt okay this morning?

Played with Kaylee.

The sun came out, and I walked on my feet and...

heard with my ears.

I ate the bits. The bits did stay down.

And I work. I function like I'm a girl.

I hate it because I know it'll go away.

The sun goes dark, and chaos is come again.

It's fluids. What am I?

You are my beautiful sister.

I threw up on your bed.

Yep, definitely my sister.

Didn't Inara express a wish for privacy?

Oh, I gotta see who she's got.

I bet he's handsome.

I think he's gonna bring her flowers.

Oh, there he is.

Well, he looks the respectable sort.

Welcome aboard. I'm Captain Malcolm Rey--

- - We're all clear here, Counselor.

- Huh. - Oh, my.

Oh, gosh, I--

I-- I knew she took female clients. I just--

They look so glamorous together.

I'll be in my bunk.

Lucrative as this stuff is, I'll be glad to see the last of it.

- It kind of makes us a target. - Was River in here messing around?

The ignition sequence is all turned about.

- I can't even-- - I can.

- Get it set, would you, Wash? We gotta get moving. - Here's a funny twist. No.

- No, what? - No, sir.

You changed the sequence?

Didn't want you taking off without me. In fact, didn't want you taking off at all.

Thought I might take this run instead, me and the captain.

The captain who's standing right here telling you that's not gonna happen?

Well, it's a dangerous mission, sir. I can't stand the thought of something happening...

that might cause you two to come back with another thrilling tale of bonding and adventure.

- I just can't take that right now. - Okay.

Um, I'm lost.

Uh, I'm angry. And I'm armed.

- So if you two have something that you need to work out-- - It's all right, sir.

We've dealt with Bolles before. It shouldn't be a problem.

And I wouldn't mind sitting this one out.

Oh, this is a

But I don't have time to unwind it.

Wash, get her started.

- Zoe, the ship is yours. - Bye, hon.

We promise not to stop for beers with the fellas.

-So, are we gonna sing army songs or something? -

That feels amazing.

Oh, right there. That's perfect.

I should have done this weeks ago.

I wouldn't have been here weeks ago.

- Then that would have been a shame. - For me as well.

You have such beautiful skin.