Firefly

We are not alone!

Forget what you think you know.

Forget what your mother told you when she tucked you in at night.

Forget the lies of our oppressive...

...allied governments.

Behind this curtain is the very secret they do not want you to see.

The most astounding scientific find in the history of humanity...

...proof of alien life!

That's right. Go ahead and laugh, sir.

But what you'll see inside this room will change your life forever.

It will haunt your dreams and harrow, yes, your very soul.

Yep. It's a cow fetus.

Guess so.

Does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.

It's mutated.

But a cow? How do you figure?

It's upside down.

Oh, yeah.

Cow.

Yep.

And I'm out 12 bits.

I really know how to show a girl...

...a disgusting time.

No, it's...

...sweet.

Poor thing never saw the light of day. Now it's in show business.

You manage to find the bright side of every single thing.

Also, we've...

...got this booth to ourselves for five whole minutes.

- We're not alone, remember? - He's not gonna squawk.

Tell me more good stuff about me.

Uh...

Well, you're kind of a genius, when it comes to machines.

You always say what you mean.

And your eyes...

Yeah? Eyes, yeah?

And, um...

I don't know how to...

Well, plus...

...every other girl I know is either married, professional...

...or closely related to me...

...so you're more or less, literally, the only girl in the world.

- Hm, that's a hell of a thing to say. - I was joking.

Oh, no, no, I get it. I do.

Back on Osiris, you probably had nurses and debutantes crawling all over you...

...but down here, at the bottom of the barrel, it's just me.

No. That's not even...

I'm glad I rated higher than dead Bessie, here.

Oh, my God, it's grotesque!

Oh, and there's something in a jar.

Scare her away again, did you?

This may come as a shock, but I'm actually...

...not very good at talking to girls.

Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?

Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race...

...and we must live in harmony.

- Struck out again? - It's like something out of a fable.

This priceless artifact, the biggest score of my career and no one will touch it.

The Lassiter's universally known.

Fencing it is like fencing the Mona Lisa.

Well, but...

Mona who?

You're out of your league.

You should consider my offer.

I'm done thinking about that, and you are to stay clear.

- I know people in highest ranks... - Jabber, jabber, I ain't listening.

Just because you helped out on the job don't make you a crook.

I will not have you jeopardizing your career over this.

The career you abhor and look down on?

I just don't want you in the way of trouble. Take it as you like.

Amnon!

- How you been? - Malcolm!

An old friend's face is a balm in this age.

- You holding some post for me? - Yeah.

Got quite a haul.

- You can sign for everyone? - Sure.

- Any packages for me? - Don't know yet.

My food is problematic.

Girl's a mind-reading genius. Can't figure out how to eat an ice-planet.

- Did you get everything? - Yeah.

They didn't have rounds for the bunder, but we're ammo'd up pretty good.

I got a discount on account of my intimidating manner.

Oh.

This one's addressed to you and Zoe, Mal.

I don't remember ordering parts.

- The little one's for Cobb. - I got post?

Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that.

Ha, ha! It's from my mother.

- So do aliens live among us? - Yeah. One of them's a doctor.

"My dear boy, I hope you are well...

...and that you get this soon in your travels".

- Did you order any equipment? - No, sir.

"Thank you for the credits you forwarded.

They have helped, as Mattie is still sick with the Damplung.

I made you the enclosed...

Enclosed, to keep you warm in your travels.

Hope to hear from you soon. Love...

...your mother".

How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?

I think it's the sweetest hat ever.

A man walks down the street in that, people know he's not afraid of anything.

Damn straight.

Let's hope we get some funny hats too.

What did you all order a dead guy for?

Thanks.

I didn't know you were out there.

Sort of the point. Stealth.

You may have heard of it.

I don't think they covered that in basic.

Well, at least they covered dropping your weapon...

...so you can eat beans and get yourself shot.

Yeah, I got a badge in that.

- Won't happen again. - Lf it does, I'm just gonna watch.

Anything interesting out there? If you don't mind my asking.

About 30 troops behind those buildings.

Mortars. No rollers yet.

I expect they plan to peck at us for a spell before they charge.

They had two scouts sniffing.

I took them down.

Wow, I didn't hear a single thing.

First rule of battle, little one...

...don't ever let them know where you are.

Whee-hee! I'm right here! I'm right here!

You want some of me?! Yeah, you do! Come on!

Come on!

Whoo-hoo!

There are other schools of thought.

Whew! Ha! That was bracing.

Don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself.

- Did you find Vitelli? - Vitelli is out of it.

The bumble bee laid down arms at the first sign of inevitable defeat.

Can you imagine such a cowardly creature?

Southwest corridor's open, huh?

- Tracey, ain't you dead yet? - Through no fault of my own.

I really wanted your beans.

They're gonna come right through here. They got rollers?

They got every damn thing.

How's the lieutenant?

Started screaming, all of a sudden, about his arms, where is his arms?

- We had to go find them. - What happened?

He ain't even hurt. He got 10 fingers on his hands...

...but he's screaming like they're gone, crying.

And he ain't said a word in two hours.

Sir? Do we hold?

I don't wanna die here. Forgive me.

This rock ain't worth it. Not our lives.

Everybody dies.

Someone's carrying a bullet for you right now who doesn't know it.

The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.

We could still cut through the 22nd at school system.

Make a decent stand there.

Well, we can't do any good here.

I sure as hell ain't gonna lay down arms.

Zoe...

...you heard the lieutenant give the order to join the 22nd?

- I did. - Round them up, then.

- You heard him too. - I ain't gonna rat you out.

Ain't me I'm worried on. If lieutenant gets his mind back...

...this shouldn't go on his record. Ain't his fault.

More than he'd probably...

Seeker!

- Is it bad? Is it bad? - It's glorious!

- We gotta move! - I can't!

We gotta run! Zoe, get the lieutenant.

You know the old saying.

Well, it don't make any kind of sense. Zoe?

I got nothing. But it's definitely Tracey.

You know this guy?

Is this a warning of some kind?

Mal, you gotta get this thing out of my station.

No, no, no. Human transport on a postal route...

...is very illegal.

If anyone knows I took a corpse, I'll lose my franchise.

- Who sent it? - I don't know. There was no return.

- How long has it been here? - A week.

- This can't stay here. He don't smell.

I know. Been decently preserved.

Give me a hand.

- We're taking him onboard? - We are.

- I don't see the percentage in that. - Don't strain your brain trying.

It might break something.

We got it.

What's going on?

Did we get something fun?

You are such a boob.

How do we know he ain't plague-ridden, or something?

- We know. - We don't, actually.

I mean, I respect that you guys have a history, but what are you doing?

If you want me to do a proper autopsy...

- Cut him up? - Not just yet, thank you, doctor.

Robot.

What do you got?

Um, okay, uh...

Recording. Hi, I guess.

This is a message for Zoe and for Malcolm Reynolds...

...and I really hope you all are the ones listening to it.

I'll spare you the boring details...

...falling in with untrustworthy folk...

...making a bunch of bad calls.

All that matters is I expect to be shuffled off...