The Gypsy (La gitane) (La Gitane)

The GYPSY

I will not be bothered by women!

Sir, it's your ex-wife on the phone.

- Brigitte... - I need to talk to you.

- Yes, darling... - Sir.

- Mrs Blanchard on line 2. - OK.

Hold on, Brigitte.

- Hello? The slip... - Elsa.

- The black slip. - Red.

- Red? - Go and fetch it.

- Yes. - That one's sexier.

OK. Sorry, I'm busy. See you later.

- Listen, Brigitte... - You need to come round.

- OK, I will. - What time?

- 6:30. Well, 6:35. - Always in a rush.

- What? - As usual.

- What? - As always.

See you at Christmas, then!

Mrs Chomard is here, she isn't happy.

I can't do anything, the computer isn't working.

Why isn't it working?

Mrs Bouchereau programmed it. Where is she?

- On maternity leave. - Still?

It's endless!

Women are such a pain, always pregnant!

I don't have any children.

Obviously!

Miss Chaprot, I wonder... Have you ever tried...

changing your look?

You don't like my hair?

It's great. Very severe, elegant...

What about my control unit?

Mrs Bouly! You're in the way!

Since when do you smoke?

- Is it a problem? - No.

The computer stops working once a month.

- Like a lunar cycle. - No!

That's the explanation:

It's a lady computer, it's indisposed once a month.

Mrs Chomard, I can't you give any cash.

My lady computer isn't working.

Lady computer?

I'm going to Almeria this evening.

Take if from your husband's account at BNP. We'll call them.

- No, no! - But...

Can I tell you something, Mr Durieux?

You understand women.

- Sometimes. - Right.

I'm going with a friend.

Yes.

It would kill my husband if he found out.

Wouldn't he more likely kill you?

You'd do that? That's terrible.

I've already killed 30 women.

In my dreams.

Miss Chaprot...

organize a 15,000-franc overdraft for Mrs Chomard.

- Check with head office if need be. - Yes, Mr Durieux.

- Your daughter is here. - Who?

Your daughter.

Miss Chaprot, close up.

It's 5:59.

- Dad, I'm leaving Robert. - Perfect.

What's going on?

I said: "If you want a maid, try the Job Centre".

Mrs Binet...

Excuse me asking, but...

is your hair natural or permed?

It's natural.

Do you think curly hair would suit me?

Thank you.

You and your car!

- What's Robert done now? - Nothing!

I'm always shouting at him and he says nothing.

I said: "Don't leave your socks lying around!" What did he do?

Guess.

- Put them away? - Yes. Do you think...

that's virile? Would that excite you?

He should have thrown them at you.

I'd have preferred that.

But I've warned him: if he raises his hand, it's divorce.

Nothing is simple!

He buys me flowers, always wants to make love.

Know the latest thing?

He wants a child.

- Your husband? - Yes.

I won'! Be a minute.

I'll be in and out.

La Petite Parisienne?

You've got a mistress?

No. I wear fishnet stockings every night.

I'm not joking. Have you got a mistress'?

Yes, you know I do.

But I'm not supposed to know. What about Mum?

We've been divorced for 10 years! She doesn't care!

Is this the best time to tell me?

I've got a mistress. So what?

- Florence! - You're a monster!

Come back!

Florence!

Damn it! She's a pain...

Hello, Mrs Sarlat.

I don't like it when people hang up.

She's here, she's had an argument with Robert.

- I don't know what to do. - Who?

- Florence! - Florence?

Your daughter! Have you forgotten you have a daughter?

On my way.

- Brigitte... - Quiet!

Florence is asleep.

I gave her something to sleep. Don't wake her up.

Right. I'll be off.

Hubert...

why did you tell her about that tan?

Elsa?

You admit it!

You could only mean her.

Sleep with who you want.

It's your problem.

Thank you.

Everyone knows she's a tan.

- Anyway. - Yes, "anyway".

Yes.

Florence is unhappy.

Did you have to take her to a sex-shop?

I collected something from La Petite Parisienne.

- For that tart. - Goodbye.

Give me a hand.

Listen, Brigitte.

Put it down here.

Shit! The sink's still blocked.

Get me the plunger.

It's 7:55.

Here we go.

Do you think it's fun living your life by a stopwatch?

Yes. It makes me roar with laughter.

If makes me roar with laughter being at the bank at 7:59am...

leaving at 6:01pm, every evening...

in order to get yelled at at 8:04pm...

by a woman who, 18 years and 2 months ago, said:

"I take you, for better, for worse...

"for richer, for poorer."

It makes me roar with laughter!

There!

Talking of poorer, it's the 2nd. I haven't had my cheque.

You're so clumsy!

Shit!

Quite!

- You don't change. - Your sink is unblocked...

your cheque's on the desk, your daughter's asleep...

and I'm off!

No! Florence is awake, she's on the phone.

- Go and say hello. - Of course.

Yes, yes, OK. OK.

And you've understood?

Know what Robert said?

He said, if I don't trust men...

it's because my father was unstable.

No doubt.

Is that you, Huben?

No, it's Paulette.

Silly!

Elsa?

Hello!

- Here... - Never mind that.

Oh, my little one, you won't be little for long!

Did you arrive late on purpose to get me excited?

Just a minute. I've had a tiring evening.

Is there anything to drink?

A girl?

Yes. And she's very unhappy with her husband.

I've spoken to her mother.

You've seen your wife?

My ex-wife.

Why did you divorce...

if you're there every night?

Why don't you come and sit down?

We can relax...

calm down, be quiet...

Come on. Please.

There.

- You look lovely. - Really!

I've been thinking about us.

Your life needs to change. You're stagnating.

Rochemaldo is getting his ribbon.

- So? - Thursday, at the Count's place.

The Under-Secretary of State for Finance will be there, Barjac.

- So? - I'll introduce you to Barjac.

If you're clever, you'll be appointed to management.

- So? - You'll double your salary...

be given an apartment, I get divorced and we marry.

That's all great.

- Isn't Elsa good? - Yes.

Doesn't that deserve a little present?

- Shit. It's 7 o'clock. - Come on.

Oh, yes...

Oh, yes!

Oh! What? OK...

Ah!

You're the only one who's never any trouble.