Night of the Demons III

Unit 66.

Unit, uh, 66 calling dispatch.

Come in, dispatch.

This is dispatch.

Go ahead, unit 66.

Is that you, Larry?

Yeah, it's me, Ida, stuck on shit detail

out here at Hull House.

Well, it coulda been worse.

Oh, yeah, how?

It coulda been me.

You're a funny gal, Ida.

Unit 66 over and out.

The heck?

Hello, anybody here?

What the?

Good evening, officer.

Oh, you, uh, startled me.

Uh, what are you doing here?

I'm getting ready for Halloween.

- You, you, you telling me you've been living here?

Uh-huh, why do you ask?

Well, this is county property.

No one's allowed to be here.

Why not?

Well, because of the murders.

Murders?

- A few years back, Halloween night to be exact,

group of kids from St. Rita's Academy got massacred here.

Here?

Oh, God, how awful.

Yes, ma'am, um, I'm sorry.

You're, you're gonna have to leave.

Says who?

Well, says me.

You see this badge?

That means I'm the law, and we have to obey it.

- Here, I'm the law, and it's time to pronounce sentence.

Pow.

Trick or treat, Lois?

The fuck is wrong with you, huh, Reggie?

It was a joke, Vince.

Relax.

It's kinda cute, thanks.

Yeah, sure, glad you like it.

Smooth move, bro.

Yeah, bite me.

Hey, Reg, that's a pretty cool joke, man,

real def.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

So what's the plan?

Just cruising for some cuties.

Yeah, hmm.

Looks like you already caught a couple.

What are you doing in my room?

Hey, not in here.

Get outta here.

Get out, now.

I'm telling you.

Get out, get out.

Get outta here.

Hey, get.

Sorry, your mom said I come back.

You all right?

It's okay.

Thought you were my kid brother.

Oh.

Did your mom let you have Fiero?

Oh, no, the station wagon.

So much for being cool, huh?

Abbie, what are you doing with these?

They're college brochures.

- Yeah, but we aren't graduating for another year.

I know.

Not all of us can be head cheerleaders, you know.

Some of us have to work twice as hard to get noticed

half as much.

See, each of those colleges has a boy-to-girl ratio

of two to one or better,

so while I'm earning my BA and my PhD,

I'll actually be working on my MRS degree.

Geez, I, uh, haven't even decided

on how to wear my hair tonight.

Come on.

You can't honestly tell me

you haven't even thought about college.

- Um, I've thought about it, sure, Abbie, but I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like my life isn't kicked into gear yet,

just sort of biding my time, you know,

waiting for something to happen.

- Mm, like a cute guy with a rad car to come along.

- Yeah, listen, I, I'm using your shower, okay?

Sure.

You still going as a harem girl?

- Yeah, and you know that thing's really skimpy.

I can't wear a bra with it.

Good planning, huh?

If I had your body, I'd never wear a bra.

Hell, I'd never wear anything.

Abbie, what are you talking about?

You have a great body.

Think if I water them, they'd grow?

I'm taking a shower.

- Shit, man, yo, where are all the women at tonight?

Probably at the dance.

What dance, party boy?

The costume dance at school.

- You might have heard about it if you went sometime, Nick.

Yo, who cares, man?

I'm gonna find me a bitch who can suck a golf ball

through 10 feet of garden hose.

Think you can find one with a friend for me, huh?

- Dr. Frankenstein couldn't find a friend for you

with or without the mask.

That's funny, Lois, especially coming

from the girl voted most likely to.

Ooh.

Nice one, nervous.

- Hey, dickhead, that's my woman you're talking about.

She started it, man.

- Well, apologize to her. - Come on, Vince.

Apologize.

That's it, baby.

Make him beg.

'Kay, Vince, you made your point.

Now, let him go.

This ain't none of your business, Nick.

I'm sitting in a speeding van,

and you're choking the driver.

That makes it my business.

Fuck you.

I said let him go.

Okay, I apologize.

I'm sorry.

Just cool it, guys.

Cool it.

That wasn't so tough, now was it?

I don't even know why I let you hang with us, Orson.

'Cause it's his van, you dick.

Listen, you.

The next time you get in my face,

you better have a whole lot more than just a knife.

- And you better have a whole bottle of mouthwash

'cause your breath smells

like you've been munching some stale carpet.

What's that supposed to mean?

- Well, if I was going to be eating at the Y,

I'd like to know who else was sampling the cuisine.

Okay, guys, yo, we're all impressed.

You've both got big brass balls.

Now, let's sit down before that claim makes me deaf.

Man, you got a death wish or something?

You know how crazy he can get.

‘Kay, try it again.

Oh, man.

Can't you fix it?

What do I like, Mr. Goodwrench?

You're the one who took auto shop.

Hey, Nick.

What?

Yo mama is so fat

she wakes up in two different time zones.

Oh, yeah?

Well, your mama is so fat

the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

Don't be starting this shit, man.

What are you guys doing?

Snapping, you know, doing the dozens.

- Oh, you mean this is one of your small-town games?

Hey, yo, Reg, can I try?

Yeah, sure, what the hell?

- Yo mama has so many double chins she needs

a bookmark to find her mouth.

- All right, Orson, not bad, homie, not bad.

- Okay, Orson, you can get off the mothers now, huh?

'Cause I just got off on yours last night.

Hoo, hoo, hoo.

Hey, guys, look.

- Well, well, well, if it ain't the head cheerleader herself

and her little shadow.

Uh, dibs on the cheerleader,

and you can take the friend.

Fuck you.

She's probably got a wilder fine thing anyway

once you get her out of those owl glasses.

What about me?

You'll fuck the car's tailpipe, Orson.

- Good evening, ladies, might we be of service?

Uh, depends.

Are you guys going to the dance?

Shit no.

- But, uh, we'd be happy to drop you there.

Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

We're out here in the middle of nowhere.

It could be hours before another car comes by.

So we'll walk.

I don't have a coat.

I'll freeze.

She's right.

Yeah, now, get your fine self inside,