Bob Hearts Abishola

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

So, what's going on?

You need to know another man is courting my niece.

Really?

But I am still on Team Bob.

Have a lovely day.

Good Lord, that is a beautiful man.

You and this guy

have a lot more in common than you and I ever will.

And you probably

should go for it.

I should go for it?

Yeah. I mean, if it makes you happy.

So you just throw in the blanket.

Towel.

Don't correct me.

And do not tell me how to live my life.

Look, I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying

to be supportive.

When you care for someone, you fight for them.

You don't just give up.

What have you done?

The right thing.

Bob is the better man,

and I stand by him no matter the consequences.

Come on in.

Thank you.

_

Hello.

Little help?

Bathroom. Bobby?

Anyone?

Hello?

Come on!

Somebody!

Hello?

May I help you?

_

Is she all right?

Yeah. Half an Ambien, and it never happened.

I helped myself to some tea.

I made you a cup, as well.

Thanks.

You know, I never really drank this stuff

before I met Abishola.

Nigerians. We love our tea.

Hey, we got it from the British.

That and syphilis.

They also gave you that goofy-ass game.

What's it called? Cricket.

Don't mock cricket!

- It is a game of kings. - Sorry.

It-It's like baseball, but with big-boy pants.

- My mistake. - It was.

Yeah. You hungry?

Oh, I shouldn't eat this late.

I-I get the acid reflux.

Yeah, me, too.

What's on the menu?

Ooh, meat lovers. That would include me.

Coming up.

Tunde, I'm really sorry for getting you in trouble.

You should be. If I knew you were going to give up,

I would have not been your Deep Throat.

My Deep Throat?

Richard Nixon, Watergate. Read your history.

I was just doing what I thought was best for Abishola.

I already told you what was best for her. You.

Are we sure about that? I mean, come on.

I'm a 50-year-old white guy shaped like a honey baked ham.

Is that how you sell socks,

with the self-pity and the whining?

Hey, my socks sell themselves.

They're the best in the world.

You are the best in the world.

I appreciate that, but...

Say it.

- Tunde... - Say it.

I'm the best in the world.

Say it like you mean it.

- I'm the best in the world. - More.

I'm the best in the world.

- Again. - I'm the best in the world!

Will you two shut the hell up!

- Sorry. - Sorry.

_

- Is that him? - Yes.

That is a sexy pharmacist.

I'd like to take him twice a day on an empty stomach.

Kemi, please, don't.

Don't what, be happy for you?

I am just here to pick up a prescription.

You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me.

- Bringing you was a bad idea. - Next.

Too late now.

Abishola, good to see you.

Good to see you, too, Chukwuemeka.

This is my friend Kemi.

Kemi, this is Chukwuemeka.

Nice to meet you.

And you, too.

And may I say, the shape of your head

is very pleasing.

Thank you.

Uh, yes, I am picking up a prescription for Dorothy Wheeler.

One minute.

Oh, what pleasures lie beneath that smock?

Shh.

Ah, here it is.

I know, as a health care professional,

you do not require consultation,

but should you need me, I am available 24/7.

That's all the hours and all the days.

I know what it is.

In the meantime, is there any possibility

I could take you out to dinner?

Tonight, perhaps.

Tonight? Ah.

Actually, I was planning to spend time

with my son tonight.

I will spend time with him.

I cannot ask you to do that.

You don't have to. I insist.

But I promised to help him with his homework.

All you do is yell at him. How does that help?

I guess tonight would be fine.

Wonderful. 7:00?

Perfect.

I'll see you then.

Oh, I still owe you for the prescription.

It's just the co-pay. My treat.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

- Oh, my God, he covered the co-pay! - Shh.

_

Mmm.

This is delicious.

Where did you learn to cook?

In Nigeria. Children there are expected

to do many household chores.

Did you have to carry water on your head?

Our water came from a faucet.

Oh, good for you.

And unlike your Detroit water, we could drink it.

Oh, snap.

And what about you?

- Uh, did you have to work as a child? - Sure.

I was a babysitter, a waitress.

I worked for my dad.

You know, he was the first guy in Detroit

to sell Japanese cars.

Oh, people hated him.

I spent a whole summer

hosing dog poop off Datsuns.

You never told me that story.

'Cause you never asked.

But Tunde did.

I did.

This man knows more

about me than you do, and he's only been here a day.

Not even.

Really? Feels like longer.

Uh-uh.

Uncle, what are you doing here?

Ask your auntie.

They got in a big fight, and he slept here.

Scared me so much I almost wet myself.

Likewise.

Again, I am so sorry.

Oh, you were only trying to help.

More than we can say for Sleeping Beauty over there.

That's funny.

Because you were sleeping.

Hey, uh, any chance you and I can talk about,

you know, what we need to talk about?

I'm sorry, I have to work.

Uh, okay. Later, then.

Oh, Bob...

I know.

What happened to "I am the best in the world"?

Was I supposed to say that to her?

Well, it's better than, uh...

"Can you and I talk about,

you know, what we need to talk about?"

Is that really what I sounded like?

You are a little nasal, honey.

I got to get to work. You need to be somewhere?

No, he needs to be right here.

Do you play gin rummy?

A penny a point.

How about a dime? Make it hurt.

Ooh, aren't you already in enough pain?

Ah, trash talk. I love it.

Bobby Socks, go run and get Mommy's cards.

_

Hey, fellas.

- E karo, Mr. Wheeler. - E karo.

Yeah, yeah, karo.

Everything okay here?

- Yes, sir. - Jim-dandy.