Krazy House

Krazy House is taped

in front of a live studio audience.

Group hug, guys.

Come on.

Come on, guys.

Anyone?

Oh Angel, come on.

Come on.

Oh, who's a good girl?

Hey. You're a good girl. Whooh!

Oh, you want to pray to Jesus?

Oh.

Come on. Get in your bed, young lady.

Here we go.

A one, a two, a you know what to do.

Bernie.

We gotta get this fixed.

We gotta get this fixed.

Bernie?

Yeah.

-Honey, please. The game starts in 20 minutes,

and I've still got a lot of work to do.

On a Sunday?

That's the day we celebrate the Lord.

Ooh.

Just one song.

-Honey, you know I've got to close that big

business deal tomorrow and the Dutch are eight hours ahead.

Sorry.

Sarah, how about you?

Yeah, I'm not doing it if Mom isn't.

Adam?

You love to sing with your dad, right?

I hate the damn church!

Ooooohhhhh!

Potty mouth, young man.

-Watch your potty mouth, young man.

-And I hate this sweater.

-Oh, Adam, took me six months to make that.

Oh, gosh.

What a mess!

Oh! Gosh! What! A! Mess!

-Adam, you know your father is afraid of

everything that you throw at him. Right?

So?

-So, you're grounded, young man.

Go to your room.

Yes, Nintendo!

And no video games.

Aaawh.

Look out.

Yeah. Whooh.

All right.

-Bernie, what have I told you about those things?

It's okay, darling.

Safety first.

Adam?

Hey.

You know I made this sweater

especially for you, right?

-You know the kids at school, they call me Baby Jesus, Dad.

Awwwww!

-Is that why you don't want to sing?

It's 1990.

Nobody goes to church anymore, Dad.

-Well, that's because you guys forgot

being a Christian can be kind of c-c-c-c-cool.

Gimme five, duderino!

You sing like a girl.

Oooh!

What you working on?

-Nothing. Just science stuff.

Hey... Adam.

Come here.

Come here.

Come on.

Hey, you know who was a great scientist?

God.

He created the earth in just six days

and then he took Sunday off. It's kind of neat, right?

-What about the theory of evolution?

Oooh!

-Why don't you put your science away

and go outside and play with your friends?

What friends, Dad?

Awwwww!

You put this away.

This stuff can be really dangerous.

I read a church newsletter about a guy-- What?

Cheese and rice!

Cheese and rice. That's a hot one.

Oh, cats and dogs.

Honey, get out of the way. I'm on fire.

Just one minute! I'm working over here...

Bernie, what the...?

Cheese and rice!

Hm, what do you think?

Yeah.

You're right, it needs a little bit longer.

-I'll clean all this up once they kick off.

Bernie...

I wanted to talk to you about something serious.

Oh, sure.

Darn it.

Oh, it's hot!

Hot, hot, hot, hot.

Help! I can't...

-How many times have I told you

to take off those stupid things?

Okay, get my toolbox and turn the water off quickly.

-I don't know where they--

In the fuse box.

Go!

There we go.

Can you find the lever?

I-- yeah, I got it.

Then pull it!

I did.

-What is going on here, young lady?

Ow, Dad!

-I thought you and your mom talked about this?

Mom?

You mean the woman we see once in a while?

Ooooohhhhh!

That's not nice.

Your mom works hard so we can live in this beautiful house.

-Dad, all the other girls in my school

already have boyfriends.

I need this.

-Bunch of other people-- ah, gosh darn.

Ah.

Your beauty comes from the inside.

You can find the right one at the right time.

God works in mysterious ways.

-Just look at me and your mom.

We bumped into each other at church camp

when Mom was just 26 years old.

I thought heaven was missing an angel.

Awwwww!

I mean, we... we literally bumped into each other,

by the way. I broke Mom's glasses,

and I've had to wear these things ever since.

Excuse me.

Eeeww!

Gross.

I can't even whistle.

I can't. I can't do it, no matter how hard I try.

Take your time, Eager Beaver.

Dad, don't call me that.

Oh, I don't think

swallowing bubblegum is healthy.

Excuse me.

Find out who the heck is that.

On a Sunday.

Bernie!

-Yeah, I'm coming, honey.

Oh.

What can I do you for?

This 24 Lords Way?

-Oh. Oh, hang on there.

Hey, oh, hang on.

Ever since she had a pseudo-pregnancy,

she's overprotective.

Sarah, can you help Daddy, darling?

She's had a... she had a hysterectomy,

but there we go.

Her body still thinks she can get pregnant.

She even produces milk. It's pretty weird...

Oooh.

-So, what can I help you guys with?

-My name Dmitri. He's my brother, Igor.

My father, Piotr.

Oh, well, howdy, y'all.

Our mom dead.

Oooh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Cancer, in her face.

-That's not the good kind.

-We work to pay a big hospital bill.

-Yeah, we prefer not to work here

on the day of rest.

Oh, hey.

Oh.

Sorry. - Oooh.

-You call us when you have job, huh?

Okay.

Or when you need advice.

No problem.

-No. I will-- I will call you if I have a job or--

or need advice.

Bernie!

-Cheese and rice, honey.

Oh, hey.

It worked.

-What was it you wanted to

talk to me about, honey?

Hey, you want a hug?

Right there.

Little flag.

Got your favorite whistle.