Neon Joe, Werewolf Hunter

Previously on "Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump"...

Where you heading, cowboy?

Vance Dontay's mansion.

He's your ex-wife!

Werewolf heart.

- You're into Neon Joe. - You saw this, right?

Finally the world will see Yuri isn't crazy

and that moon is alive!

Do we call Daggart?

You already did.

NASA has just confirmed that the moon is, in fact,

moving closer to Earth, causing mild panic.

Meanwhile, the proximity of the moon

has led to an increase in sick waves

and has surfers all over the world out in droves.

In other news, a mysterious rash of Greggar Sonoir robberies

has law enforcement on high alert.

Yeah, this chair nice.

I should have been sitting in this one

when you told me about your 'giney.

I wasn't sure at first, 'cause, you know,

I didn't want to make the association

and the connection between vagina and leather.

Remember that song in "Grease"?

The thing about things going together,

"shama lama ding dong" or whatever they say?

'Cause, you know, vagina and leather...

they shama lama ding don't go together,

- in my mind, at least. - You know, any time

you'd want to help, that... that'd be great.

I'm not the one who lost the werewolf heart,

so you on your own, Jack.

That is a nice attitude from somebody

who could never seem to remember my birthday.

Oh, give me a break! That happened once.

Didn't lose it. It's here.

I just don't know where it is.

Yeah, that sound like losing to me.

Seems to me like someone stole it.

Colonel Nathaniel Daggart, U.S. military.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

Why don't you start off by telling me

where I can find of pair of them sweet-ass shades?

Military issue. Not for sale.

Check them out, though.

Oh, yeah!

These are real nice. Thanks for the sampling.

Keep them.

No, thanks. I'm good.

Don't want to owe the U.S. military nothing.

The days of catching rays may be gone forever...

if the moon has anything to say about it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

Let me just play audience surrogate for a moment

and ask what you mean.

The moon is alive and headed straight for Earth.

Have you ever heard of the Celestial Seduction?

No, but sounds sexy.

My loins getting all hot just thinking about it.

When the hearts of 40 werewolves come together,

they form an all-powerful cube,

and that cube will send off the most concentrated pheromones

known to man,

more powerful than a thousand suns,

summoning the moon towards Earth.

It will create a race of powerful,

super-violent, hyper-sexual werewolves.

Mankind will be wiped out.

Military radar picked up a massive energy source

emanating from your old bar.

We believe it's the cube.

Yuri.

I get that 40 werewolf hearts form this all-powerful cube,

but why are you spraying it with cologne?

I'm preparing cube for Celestial Seduction.

Celestial Seduction?

That's right.

Moon is alive like I've been saying all along.

You see, Yuri is not so crazy after all, eh?

I went to moon.

I love moon.

Moon love me.

We will finally be together,

and I will get to have sex with moon!

Oh! Ha ha!

Whoo whoo!

I'm coming! Oh!

Hey.

Do you to get out of here? Go role play?

You can be Yuri, and I'll be the moon.

Uh, why would you want to do that without Neon Joe?

I don't know how he knew you had a werewolf heart

or how he even managed to steal it,

but I'll never put anything past them sneaky Russkies.

The only thing that can prevent this from happening

is the world's greatest werewolf hunting force.

No problem, sir.

Plaid Jeff at your service.

I was talking about them.

Us?

We're not together anymore.

He's out of the business.

I'm the new hot shit, number-1 werewolf hunter now.

When you two were in love

and at the peak of your werewolf hunting abilities,

you were unstoppable.

And if this chicken shit hadn't run away,

we'd be a step closer to retirement

and living in Maui like we'd planned.

I did not run away.

We had a deal that we agreed upon

that I had to run away if it...

It don't even matter.

I don't want to be with you no how.

I don't buy that. When I look at the two of you,

I see a couple that still loves each other,

just forgot how to communicate.

What are you,

some kind of military-trained couples counselor

sent here to rekindle our relationship

so we can save mankind?

That's exactly what I am.

I studied with Dr. Phil during the first Gulf War

and completed my work

on interpersonal relationship dynamics

during the Arab Spring

in Operation How to Be a Better Listener.

Right now, we have 12 hours

to cram in 12 years of couples counseling.

We have the entire military at our disposal

to make this work.

Wait. Hold on a second.

What about me?

Me and Vance, we make a pretty good team.

Don't we, babe?

We spent months together!

I even faked my death to be with you,

and that's proof that we're a solid couple.

Shh!

I love you, Jeff, but there's no us

unless I fall madly back in love with my soul mate.

You know that.

Just walk away, friend.

Just walk away.

Vance, talk to me, babe. What...

As a trained professional,

I must weigh in and also say to you,

just walk away, friend.

Just walk away.

Fine.

I'll leave.

Yeah.

You know what?

I'll probably just defeat that cube my damn self.

And we'll see who'll end up with the girl.

And another thing... I'm not walking away.

I'm walking towards.

Look like you walking away to me, friend.

I'm walking towards!

All right, now, look, even if we was able

to somehow fall back in love,

which I'll tell you right now is not gonna happen,

how we gonna defeat this cube?

Turgolock.

Who?

The crazy tides have brought surfers

from all over the world,

all ready to aid in the seduction

of our mother moon.

What are you watching?

The Will Smith movie "Hitch."

Good American seduction propaganda.

I must explore every avenue

and be ready for moon's every whim.

Yeah.

Great! Put it in the corner, please.

Aah!

You're working with the werewolves?

Soon there will be a race of super powerful werewolves.

I'd be fool not to work with them.

Oh, that's smart, Yuri. That's a good idea.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley, will you help me get some more cologne?

Yep.

Neon Joe would never approve of this.

I have got to do something.

Like what?

Your old rings. Put them on.

It'll help establish the mind-set

that you're a couple again.

Now this is a compliment grenade.

You have 30 seconds to compliment the other person.

Otherwise it'll explode. Go!

Commencing compliment grenade session.

The... he-yump... uh... I love your 'giney.

Seriously?

What? It was sincere.

I agree. Not great, but it counts.

- Fine, uh... - 20 seconds.

You did a good job of not really knowing