The Main Event

I hear they're gonna cut it and put it on the street.

No.

That's what I heard.

I love it in its pure form.

Don't you think they should dilute it just a little?

Well, of course, they'll have to. It's so strong.

Very high quality.

Good stuff.

Yes.

Do you realize how much we could get an ounce for this?

I think she's a little crazy, myself.

Gets off smooth.

Climbs fast.

Cruising altitude.

Heaven.

I swear...

there's an orgy going on inside my nose. Gentlemen, have a smell.

Judy, something exciting has happened. Send Mario and Sheldon into my office.

Right. David's on the phone.

I'll have to call him back.

What do you think?

- You've done it. - Don't call you "the nose" for nothing.

The formula's a lock. I want top security until we get the first shipment out.

Kline, destroy all of our test batches, and put our notes in the safe.

Congratulations. I think we've got another winner.

I mixed two fragrances. She's crazy.

You can't. One's for men, the other for women.

We can.

We have to market this thing properly, because it's the one scent...

- Hillary! - What?

- David says it's important! - Okay, you don't have to yell like that!

Put him on hold. Tell him I'll be right there.

- Where was I? - In a market with one scent.

This perfume is the only scent that we can market that way. Why?

It's the only one a man can buy for a woman, or for another man...

a woman can buy for a man or for another woman.

Have I left anybody out?

- I'm glad you asked that. - The important thing...

what does it smell like?

It smells like nothing you've smelled before in your life.

- Is it good? - Yes, it's totally new and different.

What we have to sell, the idea you have to get across...

is that not a single flower or animal had to lose its life for it.

This is a fantastic slogan, put it on your tape.

"Why smell like a flower unless you want to shack up with a beast?"

It's sensational! I want you both to go away to a very quiet place...

let your brains and creative minds blossom with original ideas...

and bring back what I'm talking about. David, is it personal or legal?

Never have your ex-husband as your lawyer.

David, I'm sorry. What?

No, I have buyers at 3:00, labels at 3:30, stoppers at 4:00. I can meet you at 6:00.

No, not at 5:00, I have a very big meeting. Lots of people. We're firming things up.

Kick those heels up. Energy, energy!

No wonder your husbands are leaving you.

One, down, two, three, four...

stretch up...

three, four...

and squat, two, three, four, and reach those fannies to the sky!

Here we go.

Those dimples belong on your cheeks, not your behinds.

Roll that pelvis, it's good for your sex life.

Everybody breathe, or you're gonna pass out.

Move around, everybody, get those arms up.

Have some fun with it. You're going to feel good and look good.

Get those heels up! Sock it to them! Hit them!

Put that elbow down there!

Hillary, beautiful work. Get your buttocks up!

Reach for the sky! There we go. You're hot, ladies.

David!

Come on, tight abs, get it up there!

So this is the big meeting?

- How's it going? - Fine. What are you doing here?

There's a problem, and I have to talk to you.

- I was going to meet you in my office. - It can't wait.

Shoot!

You know I can't talk when you do that.

You never could, David.

That's really cute. Come on, this is important.

More important than firm inner thighs?

Come on, Hillary.

No. Whatever it is, I don't want to know. I feel too good today.

We've got to talk, understand? But not in here.

This is a very sensitive matter.

You've got some disease you don't want to talk about? Who is she?

That's ridiculous, I'm a lawyer. I don't touch it.

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

We're getting out of here.

Wait, I forgot something.

Take it easy.

What's so important that it couldn't wait until after my pelvic press?

You're avoiding me.

I'm not. I told you I'd meet you here at 6:00, and it's five to. Any messages?

I'm coming. Thanks.

- Hillary, please. I have to talk to you! - I'm listening.

It doesn't look like I'm listening, but I am.

I can read and listen at the same time.

It's very difficult for me to say what I have to say...

so I would appreciate your undivided attention.

Hillary!

Sorry, I wasn't listening.

I don't know how to say this, but life is funny.

Judy, what's taking you so long?

In a minute.

Just remember, as long as you've got your health...

you've got everything.

Let me see if I get this straight, David.

You came here to tell me today that life is funny...

and if you have your health, you have everything.

Is there anything else on your mind before I can get back to work?

Walter Hines, your business manager...

has embezzled all of your money and has left the country.

Judy, don't come in here now.

David, this is some kind of joke, right?

Like when we were first separated.

You had my home robbed so I'd be scared to live alone?

It's no joke, I promise.

- You're broke. - It can't be!

I'm a wealthy woman!

I buy what I want. Look at all my stuff.

I tip big. If I see a nickel on the street, I don't stop and pick it up.

Does that sound like a woman who's broke?

Pick it up, Hillary.

What's going on in there?

What are you doing here so late?

Don't you have a home life? I can't afford to pay you overtime.

This is a nightmare.

When I woke up this morning, I was in a high tax bracket.

You're talking ancient history.

You're about to enter a new chapter in life.

I don't want to!

I like the chapter I'm in now. In fact, I can't put the book down.

You can get a new book as soon as you can afford one.

Why would Walter do that? It's crazy!

He not only cleaned you out, but all his clients, millions of dollars.

How crazy is that?

Let's check this out. Judy, get me Walter Hines.

Goddamn it! That girl is never around when you need her.

Always knocking off early!

I told you, "Don't give him power of attorney."

- Didn't I say that? - Yes, yes.

Hi. Hillary Kramer here. Let me speak to Walter, please.

And he didn't leave a number in South America?

David? What?

When you say I have no money...

do you mean I have to be careful at Saks, or I can't afford toothpaste?

You can always brush your teeth at my house.

Look, this is what you owe, and these are your negotiable assets.

But unfortunately, this pile has to go towards paying off this pile.

This is what's left.

What's this?

Read it.

"Eddie 'Kid Natural' Scanlon." A boxer?

I own a person?

Don't I own something that doesn't eat?

I'm afraid that's you.

This is ridiculous. You know I hate violence.

What am I doing with a prizefighter? I'm in the perfume business!

It's another tax scheme of Walter's.

About four years ago, you bought his contract.

He's cost you about $60,000.

That's great! $60,000. Not even a goddamn thank you note.

- What's that pile? - This?

That's approximately $350,000 in debts.

Where am I going to get $350,000, unless I sell my...

Why would you suggest such a thing? It took me so long to get where I am.

How else are you going to pay all your bills and stay out of jail?

Thank you.

What's happening, mama?

Go get 'em, sweetheart.

50 cents, miss.

It will cost you 50 cents to look and $1 to work out.

50 cents, sure.

I'm just here to look. Swear to God.

What's your problem?

Me? No problem.

I was just wondering if you had a fighter named Eddie Scanlon.

Are you pregnant?

No.

I'm thin as a rail. See, no pregnancy here. Strictly business.

- In the back. - Thank you very much.

Just let them know you're there.

And keep your hands to yourself.

Right.

I'm sorry. I was just looking...

Not at you!

I was just looking for Mr. Big.

Kid Big, Kid Natural.

Kid Natural. He's right around the corner. You can't miss him.

Thank you very much.

I want my money back, man. He cheated.

There we go, talking in Spanish.

Excuse me.

Which one of you guys is Kid Natural?

I'm Kid Natural.

What are you talking about? I'm Kid Natural!

I'm Kid Natural. I'm the most naturalest one here.

What's on your mind?

Which one of these guys is Kid Natural?

You're looking at him.

You're Eddie "Kid Natural" Scanlon, the fighter?