Tall Girl

What's the big deal with this book, anyway?

It's apparently all deep, but I have no idea what it's supposed to be about.

It's... It's about alienation.

An alien nation? What? What chapter is that in?

No, no. Alienation.

It's about Ignatius trying to find acceptance

in a world that wants nothing to do with him.

Well, maybe he would find acceptance if he wasn't such a know-it-all?

I think his showing off his intelligence is just a way of protecting himself,

which is kind of tragic because

the alienation is the source of his strength, but then--

But it's also the source of his problems.

- I think you're starting to get it. -

Um, I should probably go.

Hey, look, you know...

I know I've only known you for, like, two minutes, but...

would you maybe wanna...

Would I maybe wanna what?

Um, never... Never mind.

Never... Never mind.

You know that really, really, really tall girl

that you go to school with?

The one that people call LeBron, Skyscraper, Daddy Long Legs?

Well, that's me.

Sixteen years old, six foot one.

And a half.

Growing up, my height was of immense concern to my father.

Dr. Seeger,

our daughter is three years old.

She just reached four feet.

It's not stopping.

Can't we give her hormones?

I read that diethylstilbestrol is very effective in stunting a child's growth.

Honey, I don't think it's good to take anything with that many consonants.

In some girls, diethylstilbestrol has successfully stunted growth.

You know, in others, it's caused a host of health problems.

Infertility being one of them.

Honey, this may be too soon to talk about, but

do you even want kids?

I continued to grow at a rapid pace.

And guess what?

Having back row, center placement in all of your class photos

isn't exactly a self-esteem booster.

Now I'm just trying to get through the day

with as few people as possible asking me...

Well, how's the weather up there?

You think your life is hard?

I'm a high school junior wearing size 13 Nikes.

Men's size 13 Nikes.

Beat that.

Fareeda, how much longer do I have to endure this?

Just trying to start my next class off on a high note.

Well, I start every class off on a high note.

Wow. Mocking yourself right out of the gate.

Usually the self-deprecation doesn't start until lunch.

- How's the weather up there? - Hey, what'd you say to my best friend?

- Fareeda, please. - Quick, you think you got jokes?

Say some more funny stuff. Dazzle us.

- I'm sorry, okay? - No.

No, you're not. See, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm such good friends with the girl

who constantly gets asked that idiotic question ten times a day,

because every time she hears it,

it chips away another little piece of her soul,

which, in turn, chips away another little piece of my soul.

So, thank you, soul chipper.

In fact, that's your new nickname.

Soul Chipper.

Honestly, what would you do without me?

I shudder to think.

Well, stand up straight. Walk tall.

No slouching!

How's the weather up there?

And we're back.

This is my super-hot older sister, Harper,

who's been winning beauty pageants since she was six.

She was spared the tall gene,

- but at least there is some balance... -

...in the genetic universe.

She got Grandpa Larry's allergies.

- What do you think of this one? Hmm.

Let me see it with the wave.

I don't know.

I feel like the competition has got a lot more fierce since I was a contestant,

so I think you need to step it up.

So, Jodi.

How's it goin'?

Fine.

You feeling okay?

Like, no headaches,

irregular heartbeats or unexplainable--

Dad, I-- I know that you live with this constant fear

that I'm just gonna keep growing and growing

until all of my vital organs explode, but really,

if I was gonna have major health problems,

I think I would have had them by now.

No, Yao Defen's osteoporosis didn't show up till she was in college.

She holds the record

for the world's tallest woman. She died 2012, age 40.

- So tragic. - Okay, and why do you know that?

And why would you bring it up at dinner?

I'm just making conversation.

About tall people dying young?

Yeah, well, I gotta say something.

She hardly talks to us anymore. You just keep to yourself.

I can't remember the last time that you sat down at the piano.

Why don't you play anymore?

Is... Is it joint pain?

No.

It's...

It's just because...

when you're good at something,

other people tend to wanna watch you do it,

and I don't need to give people another reason to look at me.

You just have to be strong in the face of adversity.

I mean, that's how I got through high school.

Mom, everyone loved you in high school.

Oh.

Ten guys asked you to prom.

I mean, what adversity did you face, exactly?

Well, I was not popular with the girls in my class because I was so beautiful.

I mean, I had to say no to nine suitors.

It was very stressful.

It was a lot of pressure. I was like, "No, no.

Don't call again. No. Maybe. Flirt a little.

Flirty, flirty. Still no.

No, no.

Eh.

No, no."

Anyway, does that count as adversity?

No, it doesn't.

Okay.

Oh! I love it! That's the one.

But I have 27 more upstairs.

No, no, no, don't even bother. It's... It's perfect.

You're perfect.

That's really sweet, but I'm actually really far...

Ew. Ugh!

You wanna wipe your hand. Don't touch your dress with that hand.

Get a tissue, please.

Nine?

Yes, nine!

There was only 40 people in our class.

This is Jack Dunkleman.

And you may be asking, why is he carrying his books in a milk crate?

Well, I've been friends with him for years,

and that's still a mystery to me.

What's even more of a mystery is why he's crazy about someone twice his size.

- Good mornin'. - Hi.

So David Blaine called me, you'll never believe it.

He wants to know when you and I will make magic together.

You do this every day. Dunkleman, it's never gonna happen.

I made you a smoothie.

Okay, it would be weird. We've known each other for so long,

and dating a guy who's shorter than me

would just draw more attention to how much of a freak I am.

Wait, but half the guys in this school are shorter than you are.

Hence my conundrum.

Oh, ho, ho. I would love nothing more than to hence your conundrum.

All I'm saying is let your freak flag fly.

Date a short guy. Wear high heels. Do something crazy.

They don't make heels in size 13 men's.

Even if they did, I wouldn't wear them.

Look, I know I don't have everything on your perfect boyfriend checklist, okay?

But, you know, I'd be willing to bet I'm clocking in at around... 70%.

Yeah, I mean, 60%.

Mm...

Fifty percent?

It's a very specific checklist.

I just think it's crazy you won't go out with me

just 'cause what? You think that at any moment,

some taller-than-you,

funny, intelligent, nice, perfect guy

is just gonna walk through that door?

I mean, that's... Come on. That's crazy.

Okay, class, listen up.

We have a foreign exchange student joining us today.

He comes to us all the way from Sweden,

and he'll be with us the rest of the school year.

So be nice and please welcome Stig Mohlin.

Uh... Hey, hey...

Okay, yeah, okay, the guy is decent-looking.

Yeah, that's, you know, that's obvious, but,

you know, you don't know him. He's probably dumb as a...

What's... What's he doing?

Okay.

He's perfect, yeah.

He didn't even look at me, okay.

It's the first time in my life that I've ever wanted someone to look at me,

and he doesn't.

Because to him, you're not a tall girl.

I'm not?