The Visitors: Bastille Day (Les Visiteurs: La Révolution)

In the glorious year of 1124, in an effort to avert a terrible event

Godefroy de Montmirail and his servant Jacquouille the Fripouille drank

a magic potion that accidentally transferred them to the 20th century.

THE VISITORS

In the 20th century with the potion they should return back to the glorious year 1124

The fate wanted something else, something terrible happened.

By adding Marnier to the magic potion

they went to 1793, directly to the middle of the French Revolution, the Terror.

They were arrested by the public prosecutor Jacquouillet,

a direct descendent of Jacquouille.

Both of them were thrown into jail, where they waited for the court.

THE VISITORS - IN THE PASSAGES OF TIME

THE VISITORS

Castle Montmirail, 1124

You louse, why are you so slow??!

I am coming, Sir. I am coming!

I am hurrying up!

Hurry!

Hurry up!

Come on, Aymeric into the saddle!

THE REVOLUTION

Not so fast, not so fast! Slowly, slowly!

Dismount, or die! - Bloody traitor,

Let me pass, or you will hang! My lord, Louis VI. The Fat is sending me

Let me die, if I give in!

I am coming, sir, I will cover your ass!

Where is my ax? Well, where?

The ax is impossible to get out!

Here you go, you pig!

Louse! I beg for forgiveness!

Watch out, Mr. Aymeric!

What?

Godefroy the Hardy returned and we were attacked. Bad dream.

The nightmare is that Godefroy disappeared after drinking the potion.

What will you say to the King?

Aymeric from Tourbes, where is your master?

We are at war and all my barons are here,

from Raoul the One Eyed to the Duke of Aquitaine.

Just Montmirail did not come. - He's sick, sir, but he will arrive.

Lies! Speak quietly!

Don't disturb the eternal sleep of Pepin

and his wife Bertha with big feet.

What do you want then? - There is a strange talk about Count de Montmirail

Godefroy did not come to the Christmas mass. He disappeared after

he began to dabble in sorcery. He is a heretic!

I demand God's court for this libel! - Enough!

I do not want to lose knights in a fruitless battle.

Let Godefroy join my troops by the next full moon.

If he does not obey, his county, titles and property will be distributed among vassals.

And his castle will be razed to the ground!

Oh open, Eusebius, magician, a misfortune!

This way, Aymeric.

Eusebius?

Hell! The magician is dead! They are lost! - I expected you, knights.

I am the daughter of Eusebius, who lies in front of you.

Where are Mr. Godefroy and his servant Jacquouille?

I'll rip your insides and bake if you don't get them back!

Right now!

Your master is stuck in future years of the Lord 1793

He and his servant were imprisoned

when they came from the 20th century with pockets full of objects from the future.

They are waiting for the court, which means death.

Robespierre seized power. They call him The Incorruptible.

He controls EVERYTHING. On behalf of the dreaded Committee of Public Safety.

I embody terror!

Let Saint Just speak!

We don't judge!

WE Kill!

And even if the Hardy miraculously escaped from the revolutionaires,

his troubles would not end anyway.

It's screwed up here, Sir. They want to kill us.

The body of the Hardy and his servant Jacquouille age by ten years each week,

because they are trapped in the corridors of time.

What? EVERYTHING hurts. My knee hurts just like in the battle of Montlhery.

If they remain there, terrible death awaits them.

Since this morning, you look dreadful! You would frighten anyone.

My tooth is broken.

The agricultural school in Issoudun, is converted into a court

The accused for questioning!

Citizens! The commissioner says you are enemies of the people!

I will kill him. - Corpus delicti nr. 1.

English livery, showing that you are in the service of England.

Corpus delicti nr. 2! Nasal helmet

and the Spanish style chain mail!

Who's that ragamuffin? - An Englishman and firemaker.

That livery with things was his. - Exactly!

In his pocket were sunglasses with mirrored lenses...

to protect the eyes before another infernal machine.

Flacon of strange substance from England, because it's written on there - spray!

Why did you steal all this? They think we are English! Asshole!

I and Englishman? Such a shame!

In the flacon, there is a hazardous gas.

Weapon made evidently by an English thug, it has an English name.

Franck Provost! - It is a spray, a gift for Mrs. Ginette.

It is for stiffening the hair. - A torch!

Very effective in igniting the wick. Pen!

Odd.

It contains ink and produces music!

Silence! A capital punishment is called for and without delay.

If you have something to say, say it quickly.

I have the impression that they do not understand.

We are neither English nor spies! You have no right to judge us!

I am French, Jacquouille's word. - I do not understand! Your name is Frenchman,

or Jacques Couille? - Jacquouille.

Jacquouille? He has something to do with prosecutor Jacquouillete?

His bastard. Speak, you cretin! - It is true.

My bastard arrested us. - What is bastard?

Watch. It is possible. He looks like him. Although he is dirtier and more disgusting.

And that huge oozing boil on his nose! - Yes, it must be so.

That dirty man! - That's a relief.

Scribe! Is the public prosecutor in Issoudun?

I think he has a dinner in the company. - Whose?

His partner, Charlotte Robespierre.

Get him quickly!

Charlotte Robespierre? - Welfare and brotherhood!

We expected your partner. - It is better for the revolution

to let him rest. I am here instead.

Committee of the Public Safety is interested in a relationship

between the prosecutor Jacquouillete and the culprit.

This individual is linking himself to the family, he is an English spy.

Jacquouille was born by Montmiraile.

Well, I'm a bastard of the laborer Anselm and the bigassed Gertrude.

Inspector, they express themselves with a local dialect. You are making a mistake.

Yes, the people there are not easy to understad. - Leave Paris more often, citizen inspector!

Citizen countryman, your name is Jacques Couille.

Are you a relative of prosecutor Jacquouilet? - It's my bastard.

Well, that's obvious. - What is clear, citizen?

That man is Ignace Jacquouillet, an uncle of Antoine Claude Jacquouillet.

Antoine Claude... - Silence!

We did not know about him since he was sent to prison for stealing half a cubic meter of wood!

The man is a hero of the revolution. - If that is a hero who is the other?

That's clear. It is his partner in chains. Another misfortunate one.

You've been in prison with the uncle, right, citizen?

Definitely. The prison. With Ignace. We are prisoners.

They had weapons for assassinations.

Before you send them to the gallows, I advise you, citizen commissioner, do a proper investigation.

I'll take your advice, citizen. - Yes, it will be better that way.

Good night, citizens. - Good night, Charlotte.

Good night, Charlotte!

What do we do, commissioner?

Sentence them to death. Put them in the morning cart. To the gallows with them!

Wake up, Antoine, uncle Ignace is alive. - Who?

Ignace Jacques Couille. - My uncle?

He was arrested by Verdier. - How so? Did he not die in prison?

No! He got out. Thanks to his mate, he is a giant.

He is so tiny, he could not get out alive.

He is not smaller than you. - I'm normal.

Not really! You are truly a family of wee people.

Why do you say it? It insults me. - He does have your figure. To the centimeter.

That's enough to be my uncle? Uncle Ignace is dead, I'm saying!

Try to be clever, once in a while. We need to get him out of there.

And why? - Robespierre is looking for examples

and your uncle is a lovely example of the old regime's victim. He is suited for it.

Is that so? - Yes. He has an ugly head.

Features distorted by suffering. The Committee of Public Safety will love him.

I'll take care of it by the day after tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - I'll confiscate the castle Montmirail

and toss out the conceited pricks who insulted my family.

They'll go live in the poorhouse. I'll savor it, believe me.

I missed you.

School of agriculture in Issoudun at the dawn...

Dungeons are adjusted to jail...

There are executions nonstop.

Hurry!

He cut her throat. - Away with the aristocrats!

Sir, what is the "aristocrats"? - It's me, rascal.

I'm no aristocrats! - Definitely not.

Don't torture yourselves by looking, gentlemen. The sound is enough.

Lorenzo Baldini, the Marquis of Portofino. - I'm not aristocrats! I do not belong here!

Neither do we. - Count of Montmirail, Malfete and Papincourt.

Montmirail? - Yeah.

A relative of the deceased count Philipp? Brother, cousin?

Definitely. Cousin. Quite distant. - Let's go to the era of cars, sir!

Calm down! - You Philipp's cousin!

It smells og death! - Do you know Victoria Rose, his daughter?

I courted her in better times. I have not seen her for a long time.

Wild beauty that man just wants to tame.

I dare say she has gotten more femme.

You won't say anything? - Definitely.

I understand. Discretion.

Not a peep! We face danger.

It is fun to find our mates in misfortunes here.

When I think of the time when my father in law had the honour of carrying the candle for Louis XV.,

When the King wanted to urinate in the middle of the court. - Pissing in the public is disgusting!

Silence, rascal, it is a royal shit! - Excuse me, sir, since it is a royal shit.

Sir? Rascal? You provocateur! We are so afraid to talk.

But you're right. With what awaits us, we can let loose.

Okay, I will loosen up. I don't care about all the pricks from the Commitee of Public Safety,

Robespierre and Danton, they'll get theirs!

They will get theirs!

Be quiet! If you want our death? - Do you think, Duchess, we are picknicking here?

It is not suitable for the aristocrats to provide light for the royal potty,

That's work for servants. - What a stench.

Yes, forgive me that I disagree,

but, God, it is a privilege.

We can only praise the king Louis XIV. that he has entrusted toilet to the aristocrats.

Wiping royal ass, beautiful proof of trust!

Wiping any ass is pathetic. Dirty ass is a dirty ass.

Definitely. It's an honor for a knight. It's degrading.

They deserve death! - My God!

The duke goes to the execution!