Glee

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Sue got fired from McKinley

so now she's at Carmel High coaching Vocal Adrenaline.

Dalton Academy burnt down, and all the Warblers came to McKinley

which is good because the New Directions didn't have enough kids

and if they don't win, the glee club's over.

But it might be anyway because Rachel got accepted back at NYADA

and got offered a role on Broadway.

And that's what you missed Glee.

All right, I don't care what the body's doing.

Just make sure the facce is doing something special.

A five, six, seven, eight.

Show it. Hide it.

Hit your friend, hit your friend.

- Grab the jelly... - Good, you guys. Remember, show faces.

Make a sandwich, throw it down. Stay at home, stay at home.

Leave your home, seven, eight.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Mother, may I point to you?

- All right, not bad, guys. - Yay! That was so good, you guys!

Let's take five.

Uh, no, no, no. Let's not take five.

- Excuse me? - My feet are like an outtake from Black Swan,

but you don't hear me complaining...

Because my fellow Warblers and I understand the stakes involved.

May I remind you that if we don't win sectionals,

Glee Club no longer exists.

Do you think Sue Sylvester is giving.

Vocal Adrenaline a five minute break? No.

This weekend, I saw them walking on hot coals.

If Oprah can do this, so can you.

- We suck! - Okay, you suck!

Take a nap, Nickelodeon.

- Relax. Come on, guys.

Everyone's improving very nicely.

This is not the time to panic.

But it is time to be pragmatic.

With all due respect to our well-meaning teachers,

there is zero chance of beating Vocal Adrenaline

with rudimentary moves like "Mother, may I point

to you?"

- I love that move. - It's awesome.

- Thank you. - Moreover, the Warblers and I

recently had a little sidebar, and we believe it's time

for a frank discussion about who should be featured up front.

And who should be...

- hidden in the back. No.

The only three girls in this group

are not moving to the back.

Nope.

- Uh-uh. - Oh, no, no, no.

I wasn't talking about the girls.

I was talking about...

Just say it, Skyler.

The dead weight.

Look, we all know that some of us aren't as physically fit

as others, but give Roderick some time.

He's got a killer voice and he's a quick learner.

I guarantee he can get the dance moves, dude.

And when will you get them, dude?

You're just as bad as he is.

You're worse!

You dance like a blind man

with a back brace who hasn't taken

a dump in three weeks!

Hey, I don't have to dance good.

I just need to look good, and I do.

Get over yourself!

We all look good.

Even Julianne Moore over there.

Order, order, gentlemen. What?

Look, I have to agree with super gay Warbler.

I love you guys, but we just can't afford to lose.

So, unless you magically get better, like, this second,

then I think you should

take one for the team and maybe just...

stay hidden in the back row.

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm...

I'm fine.

No, you're a mess.

Let me help you with that.

Thanks.

How the hell are we supposed to get this routine down

if I can't even get through my day

without tripping over myself?

We're screwed.

I feel like a hippo trying to do ballet

like some strange nightmare out of Fantasia.

I know, man. I got moves on the field,

but I can't seem to get these dance moves down. It's...

right, left, right, left... Yeah?

No, I thought it was left and then right.

Well... I don't know.

I mean, how are we supposed to get through this routine

if neither one of us actually even knows it?

I mean, we need someone to help us.

- Maybe Alistair can... - No.

No, I'm sorry. I just don't want

- to watch you two make out all weekend. - Yeah.

But we got to have someone to whip us into shape.

Well, how about Mr. Shue, then?

He's the best dancer.

We need his moves, but he'll just

tell us he's proud of us even when we're doing a subpar job.

Who we really need...

- is Kitty. - Is Kitty.

I mean, she's by far our harshest critic.

And a true taskmaster.

She'll make at least one of us cry.

Yeah.

I'll see you later. (School bell rings)

Want to do that.

And try this one second.

Hey, uh, Rachel, do you have a second to go over this list?

I-I-I thought that Kurt

- had the set list for sectionals nailed down. - Uh, yeah.

No, this is a list of performers

that, uh, finished their college degrees

before they actually...

Sam... jumped to Broadway or Hollywood.

We talked about this, okay? You were very clear

about how you felt, and I'm very clear

about how I feel.

Patti LuPone, Carrie Underwood,

- Meryl Streep. - Okay, look. You know what?

I knew you were gonna do this, so I made a list of all

the performers who either dropped out of college

or who didn't go at all, and who had very successful careers.

Here you go... Lady Gaga, Coco Chanel

and Miss Barbra Streisand herself.

I know you, so I made this list of people

that dropped out and were huge for five minutes,

but then were never heard of again.

Kesha.

- Kesha's still performing. - Okay, well, my bad. I'm just...

Sam, please, look.

I hear you, okay?

And you're being a really good friend.

I just... I don't want to talk about this anymore

unless you support my choice, okay?

All right.

You know...

we all support you.

Okay, we always do.

Just please, think about the future, okay?

And not just, like, the next month

or the next big ticket out of here,

but actually look back at yourself

from the future and ask

if dropping out of NYADA was something you're proud of.

Hmm.

Wow. Jessie St. James.

- Hmm. - What are you doing here?

I'm from here, remember?

And I'm just in town for a couple of days.

My mom is getting a tummy tuck and a little eye work done.

So... I thought she could use a little help around the house.

The real question is, Rachel Berry...

what are you doing here?

What? I'm coaching the glee club.

Yeah, we're-we're cramming for sectionals right now, so...

Well, I heard you were offered a new role

in the Russell Simmons musical opposite one of Broadway's

hottest up-and-coming young actors, but that the producers

are still waiting to hear back from you.

Wait, how do you know that?

Because I'm the hot up-and-coming young actor

that you're going to play opposite of.

You're playing Tino?

The Iraqi War vet who was discharged for covering

the American embassy with the graffiti that he used

to make him a famous Philly street artist,

and when he comes home crippled with PTSD,

it's only his love of hip-hop that can save his life?

Yeah.

The producer spent a month