Wynonna Earp

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

Why do revenants always have to be such

a frigging hassle? He attacked my home, Dolls.

A souvenir photo with my father's body.

This is what Bobo's been digging up half of Purgatory for.

Oh, my God, it's a real dead guy.

- I know what you really are. - Competition.

- The enemy. - Nobody goes out there

- unless they really have to. - Who is this person

nobody goes to see unless they have to?

The Blacksmith.

She's gonna be coming for me. I need to find some salt.

Who's coming? Am I in danger?

Of course you are.

Witch.

Well, shit.

John, John, John...

didn't I blow you up with a motorbike?

Yeah, well, it didn't take.

This one will.

Oh, you like to make an entrance.

Hey, Doc,

you want to tell me why you're living in the woods,

screaming in your sleep and being ambushed by revenants?

I had him right where I wanted him.

On top of you?

If you are done your business,

I wouldn't mind getting some shut-eye so...

Not done yet. I'm here on recon.

Johnny-Come-Twicely was a bonus.

Last of the Seven is too blurry for me to make out,

but you knew Auggie so...

Wynonna, you wanna know why I nearly got my throat slit?

Because I've been helping the heir.

You.

And I'm doing it for nothing.

It's funny, I thought you were doing it for me.

I have my own devils to trap. So unless we are gonna make this

a more equal partnership,

I must politely say, go to hell.

Oh, wake up.

I know you're here.

I can smell you.

Sure that's not your fear?

I'm...

positively choking on it.

I don't have what you want, Constance.

But you know where he is.

You touched him, Mattie.

As I've longed to touch him

for 130 years.

My beautiful boy.

I could you make you young again.

At a cost that would make a whore blush.

I can cure that tumour in your breast.

Now, that's just rude.

You want rude?

Cute.

But if you don't take the carrot,

you get the stick.

Where's my boy?

Ah! Ugh!

He nearly got scalped. Ugh!

And he's living in a tent a raccoon wouldn't piss on.

And I'm pretty sure he hates me, so that's really nice.

But you and Dolls,

you're still working all weekend?

OK. You're asking why?

- Just trying to keep up, right? - We're gonna

track down the last of the Seven if it kills me.

Hey, you want me to ask him to run some tests

- on your bony little friend? - Uh, no.

Curtis left it to me,

and if I give it to Black Badge, I might never see it again.

They say I have trust issues.

You're gonna be OK

- without me? - I'm good.

I'm a happily single Virgo

- with hair for days. - Well, you get lonely

- and you call me. - OK. OK.

Why wouldn't Doc look at the photo?

Because he was drunk and ornery.

- More than usual. - Mm-hmm.

Yes, we all know how much you "mm-hmm" Doc.

Doc's the kind of bad that's good to keep around.

Wynonna, you don't become immortal by making deals

with angels. You gotta go to the other guys for that.

There.

Look at this hand.

Well, looks like your seventh

was quite the gentleman.

Tell that to my dead sister.

Look. See? There's a... spade.

Nice work.

- You up for some Chinese? - Yes!

- Put me down for... - Gong Bao chicken

with enough hot sauce to blind a T-Rex, right?

It's gonna be a long night,

- we should make it fun. - Hmm.

'Cause fun's your middle name.

I give you this, Mattie,

you've lasted hours longer

than I thought you would.

Maybe you've underestimated the good that's left

in this world.

I highly doubt it.

You've done your worst. I'm not coming out.

Are you sure?

Hagyd, hogy a torok porra

ahogy porra.

Go on.

Now,

we can finally begin.

Tell me,

who has the skull?

The girl that's gonna

finally end you.

Wonderful!

Got an address?

How many tiny pillows does one girl need?

Dare I ask?

My uncle Curtis left it for me to look after.

Human remains, what every girl wants in her inheritance, right?

I don't think this is human. Best be careful

- who knows you have that. - Why?

In Bobo Del Rey's camp, there was two skeletons,

one of which was missing a head.

Great.

My parlay with Bobo has finished.

This morning, Wynonna, she requested

- assistance and... - You told her to go to hell!

And it was wrong of me. Too much drink,

too much pride.

Hey, wait a second. I wanna record this,

so that I can replay it to you when you're being a dick.

Whoa, whoa! Hey!

Your tele... telephone is angry about something.

Yeah, you need to go. Girls only tonight.

Engagement party. A chance for me to show my friends

that I'm not a freak.

You hunt demonic outlaws who rise from the dead.

Gunslingers cannot foster

friendships with civilians, it never works.

See, you being here is definitely not

selling normal.

So look, the only invitation you're getting

is to move onto our land.

What? Friends don't let friends get gutted by revenants.

Plus, you know, it might be nice for us to have some company.

You know, chop wood,

- help us not die. - That is a generous offer,

one that should come from your sister also.

Look, she might not be able

to figure you out, Doc,

but Wynonna doesn't want you dead.

Well, I will consider it.

I'll sleep in the barn tonight and see if it meets my needs.

- Good. - You should hide that cranium

somewhere safe. You wouldn't want

to spoil the revelry.

They're carving our chopsticks by hand or what?

Look, I need you to listen carefully.

- OK. - There's been a change of plans.

- I have to go away for a while. - What? Where are you...?

Look, I need you to stand by for instructions.

I may need you to access my files quickly.

OK, this is supremely cryptic, even for you.

Look, you can do it, Earp. You don't need me.

OK? You can break the curse,

find the last of the Seven.

Believe that.

OK, Dolls,

do I need to send in the cavalry?

Say pomegranate if someone's got a gun on you.

I owe you a nice dinner when I get back.

Double order of dumplings.

Dolls?

Welcome to the party!

Oh, Chrissy, Steph.

- Where is everybody? - Hmmm...

Rach and Sonja bailed.

They were too freaked to come to the "Murder House."

It's not a murder house, it's my home.

Murder house, murder home...

I'm kidding. It looks great.

Thanks.

We're just surprised you ended up moving back in with Wynonna.

This doesn't seem healthy, Waves.

What? To put the past to rest and move on?

Aren't you the ones who got me, like,

five Dr. Phil books?

See?

Look, it's cute. You know,

- shabby chic. - I don't really care where we are

as long as we're all together.

Here's to moving on.

- And Steph getting engaged. - Yeah!

Again.

And to bargain-bin decorating. Ha!

You know? Haha!