Spellcaster

- That's the latest and soon to be greatest

from Cassandra Castle, Rock TVers.

And if that's not exciting enough,

I got some great news for you.

For the last 90 days, we've been telling you

about our latest contest.

Well, it's almost time for yours truly Rex

to announce the names of the seven lucky winners

in the "Cassandra Castle Rock TV Blowout".

This is the contest where "Rock TV"

wants to send you to Europe and spend a weekend

in an authentic medieval castle

with the real Cassandra Castle.

But listen, there's more.

Not only do you get that weekend in Europe

but while you're inside the castle,

you get to take part in a treasure hunt

and find a check for one million dollars.

It might be you that's gonna be the winner

so stay tuned to "Rock TV" because-

- Do you think we pay you to watch television, huh?

I can show you something

you're never gonna see on television, baby.

Yeah, how 'bout 10-foot flames

shooting out your asshole, man?

- You look like you're gonna be sick.

I feel fine, just fine.

Well, you're gonna be sick.

- Tom, we need this job. - And we are back

on worldwide "Rock TV".

- Oh to hell with family honor, right sis?

Yeah. - Let's have a winner.

But first of all,

let's recap some of the rules. - Shh.

They're gonna announce the winners.

Ran out and bought a copy

of Cassandra Castle's latest album, "Passionate Crime",

took out the inner leaf - I thought you said

and filled it out

along with your name, - that we don't have a chance.

- Address, phone number, age, - We don't.

- And you sent it in - But you hate

- with a photograph. - Cassandra Castle's music.

- We've done a random drawing - I do.

and we've come up

with our lucky winners. - But I like that kinda money.

The first comes from Freehold, New Jersey.

19-year-old party animal, Harlan McPherson.

And from jolly old England,

from London

It's a Sloane ranger, Myrna Fairchild.

From Venice, California,

A 21-year-old California girl, Teri Harper.

From Rome, Italy, a 19-year-old

Italian stallion, - Okay, you little shits,

you wanna watch television? - Tony Capri.

- From Paris, France, - You can watch it

all you want. - 17-year-old Yvette Somers.

You're both fired.

- Move! -And I can't

believe this, folks.

From Cleveland, Ohio,

Two winners from the same family.

Tom and Jackie McClain!

Oh my goodness.

Yes!

- Yeah, we won! - You'll all be joining me

and Cassandra Castle

in Italy for a weekend

in a medieval castle - Yeah!

- And a chance at winning - Yes!

one million dollars.

What are you gonna spend - What? Have you gone crazy?

one million dollars on?

Think about it.

Thanks a lot.

Okay.

Just gimme 10 seconds, Rex.

You've got it.

Ow.

We're here in sunny Italy

with our "Rock TV" contest winners.

So right now, let's give you the lucky seven

and welcome them to Cassandra's castle.

Myrna!

Thank you so much.

Yvette.

Ouch.

Harlan.

Teri Harlan, Harlan. - Excuse you, guy.

Real polite, fatso. - And Teri.

Oh fatso.

You California girls are so witty.

- Whoa. - Whoa!

Whoa.

Wow.

Nice car.

This is cool.

Okay, come on.

Hello.

I'm Tony Capri.

I'm here for the million dollars.

- Tony, you must be our Italian winner.

Yes, I am.

The others are over here.

Come on over and join 'em. Come on.

Yes.

Whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Cassandra, are you all right?

Oh.

She's fine.

She's fine. - She's not fine.

You stuffed me in this tiny limo

with four miserable aerosol cases.

And now I've got to spend a god awful weekend

in some stink hole castle.

- Watch out, clear, you'll crack the lens.

I don't give a shit.

- Oh, it's the police and I don't see Sting.

- Yeah, excuse me just a little moment.

Jamie, no cameras.

Jackie, where the hell

is the limo?

The plane was two hours late.

- Yeah, I know, but we're supposed to be picked up

in a limo at the airport, okay?

- Do you remember what Mom used to say?

What?

- "What happens is supposed to happen."

- Great, what's supposed to happen

is we're supposed to be riding in a limo right now

with air conditioning.

Oh please, that one's mine.

That green one, that's mine.

Oh, madam, ma'am.

- Ah, I think we've found our lost orphans.

- We're the winners from Cleveland.

No such thing, kid.

What are you looking at?

Oh nothing.

I just didn't get a chance to say hello before.

Hi.

So you said it.

Now piss off.

- So are you gonna come in the castle soon?

A woman's limo is her castle.

Just forget it, Tom.

She's not your type.

-All right, kids, you could make it.

All right, let's all pile into the limo

and get the welcome shot.

Cassandra.

Baby

Cassandra, time to take the big arrival shot.

Okay, uh, we'll pick up this one a little later,

but in the meantime, let's all go inside

and get settled.

Later.

Hey, Billy, Andy, listen.

I want you guys to get hold

of a high definition camera for me,

the best one you can find.

I think some really interesting things are gonna happen

in the dark here this weekend.

I got lights.

- Yeah, but with an HD we can pick up some stuff.

Hey, two points apiece.

-Ah, I don't know, that's pretty chintzy, Jamie.

Yeah?

Well, it's either that or doing Merv Griffin

the rest of your life.

- It's not gonna be easy to find.

We're gonna have to go to Rome.

Yeah.

Andiamo Boys.

- Welcome, winners, to Castle Diaboli.

This is one of the oldest castles in all of Italy.

Cut to the chase.

When do we start searching for the money?