Iconic

- This area is under violation.

You are trespassing on this-

Hey, bad bitches.

I hope everybody is having an amazing evening.

Tonight, I have something super fun for you guys.

This is my all new super top secret formula

that I've se-se, fuck!

This is my, oh, what is this, what is this?

It is my fucking makeup, why can't I get this right?

Okay. (sighs)

This is my new pH-bal, no, fuck me in the face.

PH activated, duh, fucking say that, okay.

This is my brand new pH-activated formula.

It's going to have you guys literally fucking glowing.

I can't wait for you to try it.

- Hello everybody, so today I got these new products

from roseisnotdead,

and I'm super excited to try them out.

Just a reminder, I'm still prettier than her.

The only person prettier than roseisnotdead is me.

- We like to think we live in a world of constant constants,

that the things we know and love will always be the same.

We crave creature comforts,

remembered romances, familiar faces.

Our memories will always display the fondest colors,

deeply saturated with the hues of nostalgia.

We like to forget how fast everything

can become strange and unfamiliar.

How years of determination and desire are destroyed

in what feels like an instant.

Sometimes I, again, long for that escape

into another world where everything makes sense

in a different direction,

where things that could be are

and things that shouldn't never did.

It always feels like a place so close that I can feel it

just on the other side of my eyelids.

- Rose, are you crazy?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Call your therapist, Jesus Christ.

Rose, listen to me.

Rose, have you even looked at your feed?

Have you seen what these sick fucking people are saying?

Internet wants you dead, Rose.

They think you did this to her.

Rose, Rose, listen to me, Rose.

Rose, this is your problem, you need to fucking fix it.

Get your shit together, Rose, and say you are sorry.

What the fuck?

So now that this needs to be said,

when using any new makeup product,

you simply just wanna do a little test patch.

And guess what, if it burns,

maybe don't put it on your fucking face.

If any questions, comments, or concerns,

you can call the customer service hotline.

And stop harassing me, you jealous-ass bitches.

Also, since we know you're so jealous,

don't forget to fuck yourself

while you use my promo code FUCKUROSE

for a extra 20% off at checkout, bye bitches.

I don't know who needs to hear this,

but read the warning label next time, bitch.

(phone notifications chiming continues)

Today at the gym, this fucking creepy guy

just started filming me.

I am so over dating in Los Angeles, it's terrible here.

Pink is literally everything.

Let me know what you guys think in the comments.

(phone notifications chiming continues)

(phone notifications chiming continues)

- Rose, you need professional help.

Stop selling, you know, these toxic products.

Go back to e-commerce where you belong.

And, uh, newsflash, your eyeshadow's creasing.

So we don't want you here.

Leave the beauty tips to the experts, bye.

Bitches will be bitches.

Is that what we need, kitty?

Yeah, no.

We don't need that, no.

Look this way, honey.

All right (muffling drowns out words) Rose.

- (muffling drowns out words) Darling.

Amazing, amazing.

This is amazing.

- Rose. - Rose, listen to me, Rose?

Are you crazy?

Rose, are you crazy?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Rose, I love you.

- Why is there no talented people

in fucking this city anymore?

It's just girls on their phones.

I hate your attitude, I hate your dress.

I hate your general just personality.

It's not working for me

and it's not working for the company

and you're losing me money every day.

And what is that, what are you wearing?

What are you wearing?

Take your selfies, go back to Instagram.

Go start your OnlyFans, go back to whatever hole

in the Midwest you crawled out of, fuck off.

I don't fucking care, do you understand that?

Do you, does your pea-sized fucking brain

understand that you are done?

- I'm, I'm sorry, I just thought that-

- I don't want sorry, I want you gone.

Get outta my face.

- How fucking dare you talk to her like that?

I don't give a fuck what she did.

You don't talk to someone like that.

You know what, I can't wait to be fucking done with you.

Don't even bother coming tonight, you make me sick.

- Yeah, she didn't deserve to be here and you know it, Lily.

Fuck you, Harold, suck a dick.

Ungrateful fucking bitch.

This is fucking crazy.

Oh, hello, Rose.

I don't suppose you're here to yell at me too.

Fuck you, Harold.

- I'm surprised they let you back in here

after that acid-face fiasco.

You're making me look good.

(soft haunting hymnal music continues)

I made the exact same face

the first time I saw it too, so.

You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?

- Everyone knows each other on the internet these days, so.

Fair.

I don't know why I like it.

I mean...

Given that it's kinda sickening and disturbing.

- That's what my last boyfriend said about me too.

Sickening and disturbing?

Yep, he'd also probably say

that I look peaceful surrounded

by dead bodies as well.

- Who did the murdering, you or him?

It depends on the day.

- And what do you think all of that means?

- Um, that's easy, that's Bakersfield.

Not Bakersfield then, but like the current Bakersfield.

OMG stop, don't say that.

You know, people actually still have to live in Bakersfield.

Okay, first of all,

no one should ever live in Bakersfield.

Also, did you just say "OMG" out loud?

- Honestly, it started off as a joke

and somewhere along the lines I just kind of adapted it.

And now I say it sometimes, but not all the time.

Mm-hm, OMG me to dinner.