Creeps

Now you do understand Mr. Jameson

that basically our preference at the rare books annex

is that access to all our books and documents

is kept to an absolute minimum.

In fact we prefer the no one even look

at our books and documents.

Of course, of course.

- Most of our possessions are unique and irreplaceable.

Now we processed your request, I'll just, one sec.

I'll need some identification.

Oh dear, of course, wait, of course.

Are you feeling alright Mr. Jameson?

Certainly of course, yes, of course.

- Okay I just need your signature right here and here.

Yeah.

- And then we'll need to attach the authorization

from the university.

Oh yes, of course, yes, right.

Thanks.

Well everything seems to be ship shape.

Now you do understand you'll have to be gloved and masked

before you can handle the shelley manuscript?

Certainly, of course.

Oh, I actually didn't bring any--

oh don't worry we provide them.

Could I just, my.

Oh sorry.

- Thank you. - Here you go.

Okay, you sit here.

Thank you.

Put these on.

Here you go. - Alright.

Okay-

oh no no, no no no, don't touch the gloves to the face,

skin oil. - Sorry, sorry.

Let me do it here.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

There we go.

- Thank you. - Now you just, just relax,

and I'll be right back.

So this is it huh?

This is it.

- In her own handwriting, a piece of literary history.

- It must be quite a privilege to have access

to works such as this.

- I wouldn't know, the librarians in the rare books annex

aren't allowed to handle the books.

Oh I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, I'm a professional.

Alright I'll be at my desk if you need me, okay?

Yes, thank you.

- Uh huh. - Thank you.

Quarrels.

Oh miss Christina.

- I heard that someone's reading the shelley manuscript?

- Oh yes yes, Mr. Jameson from the university of Chicago.

I don't care if he's from the Vatican,

that's hardly the point now is it?

Isn't it?

Well I mean he followed all the procedures,

he had all the right identification--

- I don't care if he has a letter from the president.

That's hardly the point now is it?

Well I'm sorry miss Christina

I guess I don't know what the point is.

- Quarrels, you're new, and I understand that,

and you're obviously delightful person.

Well thank you.

- But your delightfulness is hardly the point now is it?

Apparently not.

- The point is, our mission, our reason for being here

in the rare books wing is preservation correct?

- No one could possibly argue with that point.

Exactly, and our motto is?

The truth shall set you free?

No.

- Our motto is minimum handling equals maximum preservation

and the minium amount of handling is?

- None. - Exactly.

So let's get with the program shall we?

The reason we have such byzantine qualifying procedures

is to keep people away from our manuscripts.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me sir, but don't you know

that you're not supposed to handle the book carriers?

I'm sorry.

- Only the librarians are to handle the book carriers

to handle the manuscripts.

Well, you see it's alright.

- We'll have to make a notation on your file

and this could have a negative impact on future requests.

Oh, well that's alright really,

and I'm sorry of course, but I have what I need

so thank you and sorry, goodbye, nice to have met you.

Now make the notation in his file

and this will give us grounds to refuse him

on future applications.

Okay I've got it.

- Quarrels if you want to make it in the world of rare books

you have to be creative about these things.

Now let's put her back in the stack

soshe'll be nice comfortable.

Of course.

- Quarrels. - Hmm?

There's a Rita Mae brown reading

at the Barnes and noble this evening.

I thought if you were free maybe we could--

- well-- - cheese and wine?

- Well actually I have, i need to do something,

I need to do something.

Ah well, fine, fine, fine.

Very good then quarrels, not a problem.

I'll see you tomorrow and don't forget

to finish transcribing the histories of the new orvvells.

I'm gonna go to hell for this.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Excuse me. - Yes?

I think I must have the wrong address,

I'm looking for--

- what address? - 927 central.

Oh, just a sec.

Sheila is this 927? - Yeah.

This is 927.

Yes I know but I'm looking for--

who are you looking for?

Right I'm looking for a David Raleigh.

Oh yeah yeah he's here.

- Yes I see but isn't this supposed to be a,

I'm looking for David Raleigh who's a--

detective?

Well yes.

Oh god he's gonna be so thrilled.

So what is it, what's the case?

Is it like a divorce thing or something?

Well.

Oh right, confidential, confidential.

Oh right he's in the back, right back through here.

- Okay, thanks. - Sure.

No no no it's a boxed laser set.

Right, right.

Well we have barbwire dolls.

Irina the bare breasted countess and vampyros lesbos.

Yeah.

No they're all uncut,

completely uncut director's approved editions.

Right.

Come on of course they're letter boxed Larry

how long have I been working with you?

So how much are they,

can I pick them up tonight or?

- Yeah, yeah. - When?

Yeah, Larry let me call you back.

Yeah right.

Yes I'm on the look out

for the uncut cut and run, right, yeah.

Okay, but call me okay?

Okay, okay.

- Bye. - Yeah bye.

Hi hi hi.

You need a membership right?

I'm sorry?

- We just need to see some ID and a recent telephone bill.

- No no no look, I'm looking for David Raleigh.

Well, c'est moi.

David Raleigh the private detective?

Great.

Just, just, oh great just stay right there,

just hold on, hold on.

Sheila!

Shelia no interruptions okay?

Have a seat please.

Please, I'm sorry I'm just trying to get my office

still set up you know.

Oh.

That's my rate card there.

So how did you hear about my services?

Well a friend of mine.

Actually your sister Maggie, she recommended you,

I know her from dance class.

Right, right so what did she say?

- That if I was looking for someone cheap you were it.

Well cheap is an itch right?

I guess you just kind of figured out

I'm just starting in business right?

Right.

- Well I manage the store you know just to make ends meet.

Mr. Raleigh look I work as a librarian,

I don't have a lot of money.

- Oh hey hey, no problemo, that's for my rich clients,

when I get them you know.

So miss, miss?

Quarrels.

Quarrels, miss quarrels.

I want you to tell me all about it.

I did some checking myself,

Jameson is a real person,