Bahut Hua Sammaan (बहुत हुआ सम्मान)

ONCE UPON A TIME...

Mr. Mishra, a "posh" area is one

where couples kiss in public and no one bats an eye.

I wouldn't even stop for a piss in your area, let alone build a high rise.

Excuse me?

Mr. Mishra, I don't even talk to people for free.

So, think about it properly and then text me.

-Excuse me. Hello? -Yes.

Is this your car?

No, it's my dad's.

Who parked it here then? You or your dad?

I did. So what?

I don't care whose car this is,

but the car behind which you've dented is mine.

Do I send the bill to you or your old man?

I haven't dented your car, but I can definitely dent your face.

What's going on?

You think you can mess with me?

If I start messing with you, you'll be shitting bricks!

They seemed quite refined before.

Now they're gettin' down and dirty.

I won't just beat you, I'll drag you across.

Looks like there's going to be a fistfight.

I know you're worth shit, okay?

What do you mean okay?

I'm okay. Are you okay?

I'm okay. Are you okay?

You're okay only till I'm okay! Got it?

Okay.

Are you gonna pay up or not?

Get lost.

-Get away from here. -I'm giving you the last warning.

Move back!

Oh, God! He broke it.

You think you can ignore me, eh?

Oh, fuck.

Look at his language! He's saying "fuck."

He's taking me lightly.

If you have the balls, wait here for two minutes.

-Yeah, sure. -I'll show you who I am.

I'll show you your worth in two minutes.

-You know who I am? -Like I care.

I'll stuff your attitude up your ass.

My ass is what you'll be worshipping.

I'll cut you down to size in no time.

I'll whoop your ass.

-You take that. -Take that.

-Take that. -Take this.

And take that.

-Take that. -Take a hike.

Sir, this is for when I blew up the professor's car,

and this FIR is for when I was caught with explosives,

and this one time I tried to enter the girls' hostel and was suspended--

Screw that. How many times have you been expelled from the hostel?

Sir, this is my first time.

-First time? -Yes, brother.

All these guys have applied five times and are standing in line.

They're struggling to find a place in Birla-D.

And you think you can make it one attempt?

Please let me speak to Chandu once. He knows me very well.

How do you know him?

He beat me up by mistake once. Then he apologized to me.

Chandu said sorry to you?

Of course not. I said sorry to him.

Brother, please let me meet him.

-Get lost! -There's more, brother...

-Scram! -Hey, engineers!

-Hey... -Brother!

Chandu!

Myself Avdhesh!

Get lost, assface!

No, not you.

So, engineers,

whom did you loot today?

All thanks to what you taught us.

Dabloo.

Don't make me call for you twice, moron!

See what they've got.

Are your hands clean?

Be careful. It's imported.

It's injured, too.

Tell me honestly. Don't you feel awkward around history-sheeters like us?

We wouldn't call it awkwardness, but...

-we have great respect for you. -Yes, we hold you in high regard.

Besides, we may have studied science,

but our hearts beat for the arts, just like yours.

-Really? -Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

-Seriously? -Swear to God.

You never miss a chance to start asslicking, do you?

The faulty cell phone you got last time,

-I'm cutting 2,500 bucks for that. -Fine.

Brother...

campus placements will be held soon.

Expenses are going to shoot up.

We're like your younger siblings, so if you could do something--

-Today at the-- -Can't you see we're talking?

The PMS is giving a talk.

All the final-year students are there.

Bony, what's the date?

It's placement day.

We'll be right back, sir.

-Okay. -We'll be right back, sir.

-We should have told Dabloo... -Zip it sometimes.

Wherever you reach in your life,

you will remember these years

as the best four years of your life.

And, for some people, five years.

-Sorry, sir. -Sorry, sir.

Sorry, sir.

-I started too early, right? -No, sir. We're extremely sorry, sir.

Wait! Where are you going?

The two of you belong here.

-Come here. -There?

Yes, please!

These two are today's main attractions.

There's nothing funny about this.

No parents deserve children like these two failures.

Disgraceful.

Anyway.

Those with good GPAs must judiciously select a company.

And those with lower GPAs must select as many companies as possible.

And those who have been held back

should finish the semester as soon as possible and head home.

Your families are waiting for you.

EVERY OTHER JACKASS... GOT A JOB.

Those with salary packages of more than Rs. 20 lakh will give Rs. 5,000 each,

and those between Rs. 10 and 20 lakh will contribute 3,000 bucks each.

-Yes. -Hey, pay up.

Hey, Bony and Fundoo.

You're invited too.

-It's a pool party. -Come here.

Junior developer. Congrats!

Thank you, brother.

You won't take money from your seniors?

No, brother.

You're our seniors. God-like. How can we take money from you?

So, you think we won't get jobs?

Of course you will. Definitely, off campus--

Shut up and take the money!

-Bony-- -Give it to him.

You give it.

-Hold this bottle. -Yes, brother.

Unfold your sleeves.

Both of them.

Sorry.

Here.

Here's Rs. 75 for now.

I need Rs. 20 for cigarettes, so Rs. 55.

-Token amount. -Okay.

Congratulations. Go, make arrangements for the party.

-Yes, brother. -Go.

Brother, I wanted to ask you.

At the party, can we possibly arrange some--

Arrange what?

-Powder, brother. -Come here.

Have you ever tried it before?

No, brother. Never tried it, I swear.

But since it's our placement party,

thought we should make it count, right?

Take 2,000 bucks.

Added 500 for the hostel...

2,000 bucks?

-See you, then. -See you.

Behind this facade of respect,

I'm sure he thinks we're clowns.

Look, Bony...

The last thing I wanted to be in life

was to be an object of pity.

We slogged our asses all year

thinking we'll bag the best campus placements.

Look, it's all gone to shit!

Darling, darling, my love!

-Stop worrying. -Leave me.

Don't spoil your mood now. Come on.

That ass became a junior developer.

Come on. Let's enjoy the free booze.

RIGHT BEFORE THE POOL PARTY...

There.

Just look at his face.

Bloody fraud!

Uneducated charlatans like this godman

are making millions spouting fake wisdom.

And look here!

An honest graduate student can't find a single decent job!

Not one job!

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is with us or this country?

Definitely not us.

-Definitely not! -Most definitely not!

What do you want, sir?

Paracetamol.

Paracetamol isn't available,

but we have something more effective. Here you go.

There are no side effects, right?

It's the famous Guru Baba Anand Bairagi's herbal formula.

It better not cause loosies.

Don't you worry!

Give me three strips.

He wants to snort powder, eh?

What are you doing, dude?