Grosse Pointe Garden Society

- Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...

- Apparently, somebody bought "Lady Justice on Fire."

- No one's buying your art, son.

- But I'm selling it. - To these two.

You know what is real?

Being the regional director at the sign company.

- We won the Southeastern Michigan Gardening Cup

ten years in a row until Bloomfield Hills cheated

with their genetically engineered magnolias.

- They won us the cup last year.

- They came out of nowhere, gave me a scholarship

I didn't deserve.

You're an investment.

I think I'm more than that.

- I'm just trying to figure out where I fit in here.

You don't.

- A writing sample doesn't just magically

appear on an editor's desk.

I put you up for it.

- What are you, her life coach, Brett?

Please stop.

Who knows you better, Alice?

Your husband or this joke?

Answer the question.

Like she even has to.

Come on.

Him or me?

Answer the question.

Neither!

I am so beyond tired of everyone thinking

they know what is best for me.

Oh, she should go to New York.

No, she should have a family.

Can we please just go?

I am not going anywhere!

- Alice, can you please-- - I am not going anywhere.

Stop! - Enough, man!

- So which squares did you do, honey?

All the best ones.

Who did the sailboat?

Marilyn.

All for a good cause.

Oh.

- Certainly outdid yourself, Marilyn.

- Oh, champagne isn't even flat this year.

- How is that handsome son of yours?

- Well, Dougie just got a promotion at the sign company.

How exciting.

Junior exec in the making.

Don't touch me!

- Whoa. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Stop. - Guys. Guys.

- Back off! - Stop.

- Hey! Hey! - Chill! Chill!

- He's come a long way from graffitiing

the gas station in high school.

- Oh, that was more of a misunderstanding.

Oh!

Dougie!

- Well, I'm happy he found his way.

And we are very proud.

- We'll make a Grosse Pointer out of him after all.

Mm.

- Dougie, I understand you're upset, honey.

I would really love it if you-- if you would just call me.

- Mango from the farmers' market.

No, I lost my appetite.

He'll come around.

How do you know?

Because you're a great mom.

I know. I know.

- Your heart is always in the right place, honey.

I know.

I guess it-- it's not really my fault.

- So quit being so hard on yourself

and have some...

mango.

- This never would have happened

if you had just kept your mouth shut.

- You're the one that bought his damn art.

Well, so did his wife.

You should know better.

And you should fix this.

- In every relationship, there's a gardener and garden.

One nurtures the other.

You ever gonna paint again?

What's the point?

Thanks.

- The gardener has to provide the right balance

of attention to help the garden grow.

Any word from the kid?

Want anything to drink?

I'll take some wine.

OK.

Get me one too.

- Tend too much, and you'll drive the other person away.

- I mean, it still needs a lot of work,

especially the part where my ovaries come to life

and tie up Patty and then hold her hostage.

It's phenomenal.

- Really? - Hilarious, smart.

It's just--it--

it's just really special, Alice.

Don't tend enough,

and your relationship will wither and die.

- No matter who takes home the cup tomorrow,

our community gardens are the real winners.

- Don't be too nice to the competition.

- I have to be the mayor, Marilyn,

not just your husband. - Mr. Mayor, over here.

- The tricky part is figuring out,

are you the gardener or the garden?

Madame President.

Hello, Theodore.

You look so thin from behind.

Is that a new cologne I'm smelling,

or are you using mothballs in your garden

to scare off the raccoons?

- We use deer urine. - Mm.

That explains it.

- She's even more beautiful this year, isn't she?

Mm-hmm.

It's gonna look stunning in our trophy case.

- Aren't we getting a bit ahead of ourselves?

Mm.

Not when the judge sees what we have up our sleeves.

Ah. He's new.

Riku.

No last name.

Like I don't know.

He's a landscaping legend.

Did Oprah's estate.

Also no last name.

Like I don't know.

Mm.

You're in trouble, Teddy.

- Oh, was there a sale on garden gnomes at Home Depot?

Try Ranunculuses from Kyushu.

Cute.

- Oh, you find Fukuoka hybrids cute?

Adorable.

- Hmm. - Mm.

- You're gonna soil your pink pants.

- I would, except my pants are salmon,

and Bloomfield Hills has a little surprise of our own.

What?

- Wouldn't want to ruin your day.

- Well, your resting dick face already did.

Excuse me?

Dish.

- OK. How much was that Kohl's card again?

- She gives me the same one every year for 50 bucks.

Why don't you ever use it?

I'm a Gucci girl.

OK, then.

I will see your Kohl's, your Outback,

your Linens 'N Things, and your Dunkin' Donuts

and raise you $200 at Sephora.

Ooh!

- Is that my birthday present you're wagering?

Forgot to give it to you.

All right.

Let's see what you've got, Ms. Bradley.

Hoo hoo hoo!

Guess who's not going Christmas shopping this year?

Ah, ah.

That Sephora's mine.

Fine.

One more hand?

- Uh, we gotta get back to work, so--

OK.

Uh, tomorrow then?

Yeah?

We'll text you.

- I'll pop by Tory Burch, load up on gift cards.

Ooh.

Should we get a bartender?

It's not happening, lady.

But that was so much fun.

You're missing the point.

What's the point?

To trash talk our bosses.

You do that to my face.

But the other girls can't.

They work for some of your friends.

- Those women aren't really my friends anymore.

- Well, you could always play online.

It is done.

- I think it's our best one yet.

So what do we do now?

Pray.

When did you find religion?

I, uh--

I just really need a win.

Mm.

- Cup's not gonna bring your car business back.

Win or lose, it's the journey.

- Oh, honey, that's just what losers say.

So tomorrow it's just over?

- Well, there's always next season.