I Don't Want to Be Born

What's wrong, sir?

This one doesn't want to be born.

Dr. Jones. Dr. Jones.

- Congratulations, Mr. - Carlesi. It's a boy.

Marvellous! Is Lucy all right?

Oh, yes, yes, she's fine now.

It was a bit of a struggle.

But the baby's all right?

Yes. More than all right.

A big healthy fellow

one of the biggest I've ever had to cope with.

Nearly 12 pounds I would say.

- Is everything all right? - Yes, sir.

- I think you could take Mr. - Carlesi in to see his son now.

Thank you, that's marvellous!

Thank you! Which way?

What's the matter? What's wrong?

I was cuddling him!

I was only cuddling him!

I was just holding him!

Your wife is all right.

She uh she's a little distraught.

It was a nasty experience.

But her face. What happened?

Why would the baby- Maybe she was cuddling

it too tightly it may have had difficulty breathing.

The baby may have thought he was being suffocated.

Even at this age babies have an instinct for survival.

And as I said he's an amazingly big and strong baby.

But the baby's all right?

Oh, yes, yes. I just had a good look at him.

He's totally unmoved by the experience.

And you must both forget about it too.

We're as much concerned about the mother as the baby.

Now, about feeding-

She said she wants to feed him herself.

No, I don't think

- that would be good. - No, she wants to so much.

This experience has upset her.

She seems a little frightened.

She'll be all right in a day or two.

And then we'll see. Again, congratulations, sir.

Have you thought about what you're gonna call the boy?

I wanted to give him an Italian name for my family,

Lucy wanted to give him an English one.

We called him Nicholas.

The mothers usually win.

It's very medical!

Hey, you blokes up there,

what are you collecting for?

- No. - Come on, petal!

- Get used to it. - (people laughs)

- (people chattering) - I'm starving.

- You're starving? - Look at it!

Oh, it's nice to see you back, Mrs. Carlesi.

Oh, it's nice to be back.

- Look at him. - Oh, what a lovely boy,

isn't he like his mummy?

Come along. Oh, he's asleep.

Now, that's it.

- Careful now. - Mind the steps, Lucy.

I hope you find it warm enough, Mrs. Carlesi.

I've had the heating going specially.

Ch, Mrs. Hyde.

I've left the flowers downstairs for Mrs. Hyde.

It's all right, darling, yes.

Oh, what a lovely big boy he is!

Leave the suitcase here?

Oh what a big bundle.

- We do weigh a tonne, don't we? - Yes. (laughs)

There we are.

What a lovely big boy!

Oh! He bit me so hard.

I could swear he's got teeth already.

- (Nicholas whimpers) - How could he?

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Hyde. - Oh, it's nothing, nothing!

The poor mite's hungry that's all.

He'd have to be to want to eat me.

- You'd better feed him. - Yes, I'll prepare a bottle.

Oh, aren't you doing it yourself?

Ah no, the doctor says not.

You go and rest. I'll get the bottles.

I'll do it.

I didn't have five of my own without learning something.

You both need a rest.

Not bad for a first effort.

Mm-hmm, come on let's go and have a drink.

Then I must go to the office.

Bye, Nicky.

And there's nobody tall in your family is there?

No, they called Uncle Giorgio a giant

but he was only 510",

I think we're going to have a six-footer

on our hands one day.

Anyway, you must relax.

Mrs. Hyde can cope with everything.

Hello?

Where is she?

Where is she?

She's at the airport. Mm?

- Tell her to come over. - (speaking in foreign language)

I'm going back to the office. You take a taxi there.

And hen I'll bring you back here mm?

Great.

Ciao, ciao, Albana.

- Morning, Charles. - Morning, sir. Thank you.

- Morning, Mr. - Carlesi. How's the baby?

I brought him back from the hospital this morning.

Oh, that's wonderful. How's Mrs. Carlesi?

Oh, she's fine. She's a bit tired.

I suppose there are 100 messages.

Ah, they're all on your desk.

Uh, Mr. Simms is the only urgent one

about that silver order from Paris.

Ah, yes, yes, I'll deal with that. Thank you, Sheila.

Yes?

Your sister's here. Mr. Carlesi.

Oh, show her in, will you?

This way please.

(Gino and Albana speaking in foreign language)

Oh, no, no, no,

now I'm here we are only going to speak English.

Have you met my secretary Sheila?

Yes, I have.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Uh, before you go to lunch, Sheila,

could you get me Simms on the phone, please?

Yes, sir.

- Oh! - Hello, Mrs. Hyde.

- How are they? - All right.

- Lucy! - Oh, Mandy.

God I'm glad to see you.

You look wonderful like you've been on holiday.

No. It was no damn holiday.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Carlesi.

- Bye, Mrs. Hyde. - Bye.

A boy first time off. Terrific.

Can I go up and see him?

Oh, no, no. He's sleeping.

- Let's have a drink. - Right.

Are you still on Scotch?

Yes, but never before breakfast.

Soda?

No, it's been a tough day already.

Thomas had us at it since 930

rehearsing a new show, "Diabolical."

- How is Tommy? - Blooming.

Still got as many hands as ever. You know Tommy.

Yes. Here you go.

Your hair's got so long.

Oh, darling, it's a mess.

- Oh, it looks fabulous. - Thanks.

To you and the baby.

You've been the lucky one darling.

Oh, come off it Mandy.

You've had your chances and always said no.

Yes, but I'm changing with age.

I'm gonna have to find myself someone like Gino

before I bump and grind myself to death.

Gino's been wonderful.

Well, they always say Italians make the best husbands

if you can get them away from their mothers.

Oh! Gino's mother.

Do you know she still doesn't approve of me.

All we had since the wedding is a Christmas card.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Come upstairs with me right now. Oh, please.

My God.

- Oh! - The baby couldn't have.

We ought to turn him over. He'll suffocate.

Oh, let me turn you over.

There you go. He's heavy.

Oh but he's lovely.

Look.

What?

Look. Come on.

Come on. You need a drink.

We'll tidy up later. Come on.