Operation Cupcake

RIGHT, LEFT.

- SOUND OFF. - all: ONE, TWO.

- SOUND OFF. - all: THREE, FOUR.

- MORNING, SIR. - COLONEL CARSON.

GENERAL.

HAVE A GOOD TWO-MONTH LEAVE. WE'LL MISS YOU AROUND HERE.

APPRECIATE THAT, SIR.

I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME THAT LONG IN YEARS.

AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU,

YOU'LL BE GENERAL CARSON.

ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE, SIR.

- HAVE A SAFE TRIP. - THANK YOU, SIR.

I'M GONNA GO PUT THESE OUTSIDE, WANNA COME?

YEAH, HOLD ON.

DAD'S COMING.

WHEN DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA GET HERE?

WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN SO LONG.

I HOPE HE LIKES IT.

I CAN'T WAIT.

OH.

UM...

PUT ONE UP A LITTLE HIGHER.

- HOW'S THAT? - GREAT.

- THAT'S GOOD. - YEAH?

YEAH.

OKAY.

PERFECT, OKAY.

OKAY.

THERE WE GO! HOW DOES IT LOOK?

- IT LOOKS GOOD. - AAH! IT LOOKS SO GOOD.

IT'S GREAT. DAD'S GONNA LOVE IT.

OH, YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB.

OH.

I HOPE HE LIKES IT.

OKAY, HE JUST CALLED. HE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

LET'S GO.

HEY, I SAW THAT.

- SAW WHAT? - DON'T EAT THE CUPCAKE.

FINE.

OH!

OH, NOT THAT CHEESY WATCH THING.

- IT IS NOT CHEESY. - WAIT, WHAT WATCH THING?

WHEN DAD'S GONE, MOM WEARS A WATCH TO COUNT THE MINUTES

UNTIL THEY'RE TOGETHER AGAIN.

BUT WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER, SHE TAKES IT OFF

BECAUSE TIME DOESN'T MATTER.

- THAT'S RIGHT. -

THERE HE IS. OH, MY GOSH.

HI, HONEY!

- HEY, DAD. - HI, HONEY.

OH, MY GOSH.

- OH, HONEY. - MM.

- OH, I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU TOO.

MISSED YOU. FEELS SO GOOD.

- OH, MY GOSH. - HI!

- LOOK AT YOU. -

I MISSED YOU.

HELLO, COLONEL.

HOW ARE YOU, YOUNG MAN?

OH, NO!

OH, IT'S OKAY, BABE.

OOH.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT. - THAT'S OKAY, I GOT IT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST MAKE ANOTHER ONE.

OKAY.

WOW, IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HOME. I REALLY MISSED THIS.

THE FOOD OR US?

WOULD I BE A JERK IF I SAID BOTH?

NO.

MM, I NOTICED, UM, MY CAR WASN'T IN THE DRIVEWAY.

- RIGHT. - ANY REASON FOR THAT?

- I DIDN'T CRASH IT. - IT'S IN THE SHOP.

BUT NOBODY GOT HURT, AND I'M PAYING FOR THE DAMAGE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE WERE HAVING A DRIVING LESSON.

SHE WAS STARING AT HER BOYFRIEND

AND CRASHED INTO THE MAILBOX.

BOYFRIEND? WHAT BOYFRIEND?

- YOU ARE SUCH A NARC. - POSER!

YOU GUYS, STOP FIGHTING. YOUR DAD JUST GOT HOME.

- HEY, THOSE LOOK FANTASTIC. - THANKS.

DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THE NEW STORE?

- YOU FOUND A PLACE? - YES, UH, YESTERDAY.

I WAS GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT IT IN PERSON.

BUT THERE'S THIS BAKERY ACROSS TOWN THAT BACKED OUT

OF THEIR LEASE AND THE PLACE WAS HALFWAY DONE,

- SO IT WAS PERFECT. - THAT WAS FAST.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW THIS HAS TAKEN OFF.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA MANAGE TWO STORES ALL AT ONCE.

BUT AT LEAST I HAVE SHEILA, AND ONCE IT'S UP AND RUNNING,

IT'S GONNA BE...

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS.

YOU'RE HERE FOR A WEEK.

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT BUSINESS.

MM.

- ACTUALLY, WE DON'T HAVE A WEEK. - WHAT?

IT'S ONLY A WEEKEND PASS?

BUT YOU'RE UP FOR A PROMOTION.

AND I'VE DECIDED TO TAKE A FURLOUGH...

UNTIL THE REVIEW BOARD ANNOUNCES ITS DECISION.

I'M HERE FOR TWO MONTHS.

WHAT? TWO MONTHS? OH, MY GOSH!

OH, I'M SO HAPPY.

MAYBE FOREVER.

FOREVER?

IF I MAKE GENERAL, THAT COULD MEAN

ANOTHER FOUR-YEAR STINT OVERSEAS,

ANOTHER FOUR YEARS OF BEING A PART-TIME HUSBAND

AND A PART-TIME FATHER.

I'VE MISSED SO MUCH OF YOUR LIVES ALREADY.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE CONSIDERING RETIREMENT?

I'M SAYING WE HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE.

- - YEAH, HI, THAD.

YES.

YEAH, I KNOW WE HAVE TO SIGN THE PAPERS.

THAD, I JUST WOKE UP. I'LL CALL YOU LATER, OKAY?

SORRY.

WHY IS HE CALLING SO EARLY? ARE YOU, LIKE, HIS ONLY CLIENT?

NO, HE'S JUST ENTHUSIASTIC.

HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT THIS WHOLE DEAL TOGETHER.

I NEVER LIKED THAT GUY. HE HAD A WEAK HANDSHAKE.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU DID A ONE-HANDED PUSH-UP

OVER OUR WEDDING CAKE?

HOW COULD I FORGET THE GLORY DAYS?

YOU STILL OWE ME A REAL WEDDING, YOU KNOW.

THAT WAS A REAL WEDDING, HONEY.

MM, I DON'T KNOW.

IT WAS ON A MILITARY BASE WITH A CHAPLAIN.

WE'VE LASTED 18 YEARS. HE MUST'VE SAID SOMETHING RIGHT.

AW.

DRIVING LESSON.

WAKE UP.

YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

IT'S THE PERFECT TIME. THERE'S NO CARS ON THE ROAD.

MOM'S TEACHING ME.

YOUR MOTHER IS BUSY.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME.

AND WHO IS THIS BOY YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH?

WE'RE NOT GOING OUT.

BUT YOU'RE PLANNING TO?

- I GUESS. - WHEN?

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS NOW?

- ABSOLUTELY. - MOM?

MIGHT AS WELL GET IT OVER WITH.

NEXT WEEKEND.

AND TO YOUR NEXT QUESTIONS, HE HAS A 3.4 GPA,

NO TATTOOS, NO PIERCINGS.

- YOU LEFT OUT AGE. - 35.

BUT HE SPENT 10 YEARS IN PRISON, SO HE LOOKS A LOT YOUNGER.

HE'S 18.

18?

YEAH, I MET HIS MOM. SHE'S REALLY NICE.

YOU'RE TALKING TO HIS MOTHER NOW?

OF COURSE I AM.

ARE WE ALMOST DONE?

HEY, WE JUST STARTED.

THAT LOOKS LIKE POISON OAK.

AH, NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

HERE WE GO.

UH-HMM.

OH, HONEY. HONEY, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.

SORRY. CAN YOU JUST MOVE--

MM-HMM.

- HONEY. - SORRY.

UM.

GO AHEAD. NO, NO, GO AHEAD.

THIS ISN'T WORKING. UM...

- STANDING BY. - OH, BOY.

STILL STANDING BY.

- OH, CAREFUL, CAREFUL, HONEY. - SORRY, SORRY.

I GOT A BLADE IN MY HAND.

I JUST DON'T WANNA BE LATE.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU.

LOVE YOU.

MWAH, YEAH.

OH, I LEFT YOU A TO-DO LIST, OKAY? BYE.

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.

UM, TELL ME THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE WEARING TO SCHOOL.

- MOM LEFT ALREADY? - YUP.

THEN I GUESS THIS ISN'T WHAT I'M WEARING TO SCHOOL.

DOES SHE ALWAYS DRESS LIKE THAT?

YES.

YOU MUST BE STARVING AFTER THAT WORKOUT, HUH?

- GET YOUR HEAD UP. -

ACTUALLY, I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP.

HERE WE GO. LOOK AT THAT.

EAT UP.

THAT WAS FAST.

DO I PASS INSPECTION?

YEAH. HAVE SOME BREAKFAST.

THANKS, BUT I ONLY EAT FRUIT BEFORE NOON.

COMING OLLIE?

YEAH.

LOVE YOU, DAD.

HAVE A GOOD DAY, GUYS.

GUESS I'LL BE NEEDING READING GLASSES.