Mockingbird Lane

There's not gonna be any breakfast tomorrow

because somebody ate all of our breakfast food.

Would anybody like to say anything

before we discuss community, responsibility,

and Wildlife Honor?

We all know who it was.

Wallace has had a serious eating disorder,

and we all ignored it.

No one's ignoring anything, Huey.

Well, someone gave him an honors patch

in personal fitness.

Ahem.

Oh. I didn't see you there.

- Ow! - Wallace!

I could hear whatever snack wrappers you have

in your pocket crinkling when you hit me.

The crinkle is stay-dry lining.

Also, whatever got into the foods was probably

a wild animal,

like a baby bear.

I saw you hiding in the tall grass,

eating a box of Colonel Crunch.

- He called you out. - That was my Colonel Crunch.

Wasn't me. I'm allergic to grass.

First, we're surrounded by grass,

so I guess your grass allergies make you hungry.

Second...

And third, did you really think you could make us believe

there was some mysterious wild baby bear out there

in the forest, eating all our sugar cereal?

Ugh! Ouch.

- Where's Eddie Munster? - Shh.

Is it still out there?

May I ask why the sudden move?

No.

All right. Well, this, it's an emotional property,

ideal for any multi-generational family.

We're not just any family.

Well, the sun shines more on this house

than any other house in the neighborhood.

Not a feature we're looking for.

What about that one?

It's a very emotional property

for entirely different reasons.

The former owner was a notorious serial killer

- who poisoned hoboes. - I'll take it.

It's not for sale. They're tearing it down.

But they haven't yet.

That's a horrible place. Horrible things happened there.

They found dozens of graves in the backyard.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, maybe you could buy the lot

once the grounds have been cleansed.

My aund ant uncle prefer pre-cleansed.

Miss, there may be dead homeless people in the walls.

Then they found a home after all.

It already smells like home.

This whole move was very abrupt.

A happy confluence of events that happened

to coincide with an unfortunate baby bear attack.

A lot of fuss over a baby bear attack.

I don't even remember.

Be glad you don't remember.

It ravaged and tossed your naked body into the shrubs.

And that baby bear is still out there.

We didn't have to leave town. It wasn't gonna follow me home.

Not right away, but wait 29 days.

What happens in 29 days?

That's about how long it takes

for a baby bear to regroup.

I didn't get to say good-bye to anybody.

Moving away is a form of good-bye.

Mm, not really.

Did Grandpa try to eat somebody again?

Is that why we had to leave?

No, not Grandpa.

Whoa.

If we see any dead hoboes,

I can run a fingerprinting patch and find their families.

Hoboes don't have families.

Grandpa said I had a condition.

He did, did he?

He said it like he says when he says

Marilyn has a condition,

but he said my condition cleared up.

Well, I'm sure it's a different condition.

But I like being normal, like Marilyn.

Don't say that in front of Grandpa.

Say you like being like your dad.

I promise it will be just as annoying.

And you do get that condition from me.

Which one of you?

This one of me.

Your heart feels funny.

That's how I know who I am

when I'm made of so many different people.

Ay, dios mio.

Espere! Espereme!

Grandpa, cover yourself.

What will the neighbors think?

The neighbors should be more concerned

with what I'm thinking.

Hello, Lily.

Hello, Herman.

Welcome to your new home.

I wonder if this would've happened sooner

if I breastfed.

I have to assume you're talking about Eddie.

Evidently it's important.

You were so nervous about holding him

after what your sister did to Marilyn.

Well, that was post-partum.

Mothers who breastfeed are closer to their babies.

It's a fact.

A suckling baby changes the mother's brain

and makes them love harder.

You couldn't love Eddie any harder.

I could've if I breastfed.

He was just so pink and plump.

You have to stop thinking of him as fragile and/or edible.

He's asking questions.

I don't want him to know.

He's gonna find out.

We have at least two more baby bear attacks

before he gets suspicious.

He needs someone to talk to.

Well, he can talk to Grandpa.

I heard that. Be careful, Herman.

You love too hard.

Are you excited for your new school?

All the new friends you're going to make?

Isn't that exciting?

Why are you small-talking me?

I'm not small-talking.

Well, you're not big-talking.

Why are you wearing that uniform?

We all have our uniforms.

It gives me structure.

This can be a traumatic time in a boy's life.

- He needs structure. - Mm-hmm.

Is there something wrong with me?

That is exactly the kind of shame

I do not want coming out of your mouth.

The only one in this family who should feel shame

is Marilyn.

But you carry it so beautifully.

Well, I wouldn't change a hair on your body,

no matter where they may grow.

Are we having that conversation?

I know all about puberty.

You see, he knows all about puberty.

I just don't want to talk about the changes

my body is going through.

We will talk about that later.

We will talk about that later.

We will talk about it later.

What are we talking about now?

What are we talking about now?

All you need to know now is

you're not always gonna be the same person tomorrow

that you were today.

But we will always be your family.

Always.

That's my bus.

Eddie!

Eddie. You didn't say good-bye.

Walking away is a form of good-bye.

Hey.

I know you're lying to me.

I don't know about what, but you're lying.

[The Magnetic Fields' I Think I Need a New Heart]

Ready!

We found you in the yard.

Raccoons were having their way with you.

It seems you broke your heart.

Shame on you for being so sentimental.

It's my heart. It's sentimental by definition.

- Ruined. - Hey, hey, hey.

That's my last original part. Put that back in.

Take this thing out.

This thing is a piece of genius.

Put my heart back in, and clean it first.

Please.

This doesn't feel like me.

You're too attached to how things were.

Only "were" is now "were-wolf".

Eddie knows I'm lying to him.

He can smell your deceit.

You've never raised a werewolf. I have.

Have you raised one successfully?

My son Leslie was born covered in hair.

I knew exactly how to raise him.

You hired nannies to raise him,

and then you let him eat the nannies.

That's what they were hired for.

I know exactly how to raise Eddie.

You were never a Munster until I made you a Munster.

Eddie was born one.

There's nothing you ever have done or can do

as a parent that will change that.