The Wedding Singer

All right, everybody, come on.

Out on the dance floor.

Look at the happy couple.

No exceptions. Up out of your chairs.

I can feel all the happiness in here.

All right!

Look at him go.

If I...

I get to know your name...

If I...

Could trace your private number, baby...

All I know is that to me...

You look like you're lots of fun.

Open up them lovin' arms.

I want some, want some.

I set my sights on you.

And no one else will do.

And I...

I got to have my way now, baby.

All I know is that to me...

You look like you're lots of fun.

Open up them lovin' arms.

Watch out, here I come.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby...

Right round, round, round.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby...

Right round, round, round.

Somebody get some pants on that kid.

If I...

I got to be your friend...

Grandma Molly, I'm talking to you.

And I...

Would like to move in just a little bit closer.

All I know is that to me...

You look like you're lots of fun.

Open up your lovin' arms.

Watch out, here I come.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby...

Right round, round, round.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby.

I want your love.

Uncle Marty!

All I know is that to me...

You look like you're lots of fun.

Open up your lovin' arms.

Watch out, here I come.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby...

Right round, round, round.

You spin me right round, baby, right round...

Like a record, baby...

Right round, round, round.

You spin me round...

And round...

And round.

Very nice.

Good job, lady. You were shakin'.

It is gonna be fun today.

The best man's gonna come up and say a few words...

so let's put our hands together for the groom's brother David.

All right, Dave.

When my brother Harold asked me to be the best man...

I was like, "Whoa, of course, man...

"because you've always been there for me."

Like when I was in rehab...

and like the time I couldn't find my car.

'Cause, Harold, he's always been the dependable one.

I've always been the screwed-up one. Right, Dad?

"Why can't you be more like your brother?

"Harold would never beat up his landlord."

He's drunk as shit.

But...

a little news flash, Pop.

Harold ain't so perfect.

Remember that time in Puerto Rico...

when we picked up those two...

I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying.

How about that?

Terrific.

I'm a person, too, Pop, goddamn it!

You're a moron!

The best man, everybody.

Best man. The better man.

We've all done crazy things in our life, so...

He's playing the guitar now. Isn't that great?

He's doing good.

Sounds good?

It's because I'm the best guitar player in the world.

Self-taught.

No lessons, thank you very much, Pop.

All right.

They'll be divorced in a year.

Very good.

I think we all know that when you fall in love...

the emptiness kind of drifts away.

That's all I'm talking about.

I've done some crazy things in my life, too...

but then I met a very special girl...

a girl who I'm actually marrying next week.

Thank you.

So all I'm saying is that when you fall in love...

the emptiness drifts away...

because you find something to live for...

each other.

And the way I've seen you two...

looking into each other's eyes all day long...

I can tell that you're gonna live for each other...

for the rest of your lives.

So cheers.

That's a good wedding singer.

Now on behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Harold Veltri...

you guys have a nice dinner.

George Stitzer's gonna take over on lead vocals...

so take it away, George.

Give me time...

To realize my crime.

Let me love and stay.

- Jesus. - Scary.

I have danced...

I like her.

Inside your eyes.

How can love...

Be real?

Do you really want to hurt me?

Good save, wedding singer.

Good job.

Sammy, how come you're not out with your limo? What's up?

That new waitress. That's what's up.

Is she in trouble.

She's gonna get it, and she doesn't even know it...

and I'm gonna give it to her.

Take it easy, man. Who is she?

She's Holly Sullivan's cousin.

If she's half as easy as Holly...

I'll close this deal by the end of the week.

I don't think that's gonna happen.

Please. It's her first day.

Always takes them three weeks...

to realize they shouldn't date anyone at work.

You like being the guy that helps them realize that?

Yes, I do.

You want to be like Fonzie, don't you?

You're on your way.

Do you really want to hurt me?

Do you really want to make me cry?

Prime rib, please.

Always the prime rib. Make them eat the fish.

Andre, can I have three prime rib?

Your wish is my command, madame.

How come he's so nice to you?

I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party.

Not my finest half-hour...

but it's been a pleasant working environment ever since.

So, how's your first night going?

Being at this wedding is making me realize...

that Glenn is never going to set a date...

and I've been wearing this ring for two years...

and I feel like an idiot.

You know what you must do?

Relax. Don't do it.

I feel stupid for moving here to be closer to him.

I think you need a break. Go out back and get some air.

I'll cover your tables.

You okay?

You going to throw up?

Come with me, man.

Give me time...

What?

Here we go.

Come on.

You got it. There.

Is he a friend of yours?

Me? No.

I couldn't let him do it in front of his family.

Wow.

I'm glad I got to see it.

You all through?

Going to wait a few years before you drink again?

All right, remember, alcohol equals puke...

equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I got it from here.

Know what? You go this way, and you go this way.

It's for the best. It's all right. Take it easy.

See you later. Sleep it off, pal.

Hey, you know, wedding singer?

Are you drinking, too?

No. It's Coca-cola.

Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-cola?

I'm not a big drinker...

and if it was, I'd be puking more than that kid.

I don't think anybody could puke more than that kid.

I think I saw a boot come out.

You're the wedding singer.

How you doing? I'm Robbie.

I'm Julia.

I'm actually waitressing at your wedding next week.