Wynonna Earp

- Previously on Wynonna Earp... - This condo's being built on an old school.

- Anything original still left? - A few nooks and crannies.

Demons... they do exist. And now I kill them.

This night wouldn't be complete

without a hellish road trip through my childhood.

It's alright to miss him, Wynonna.

She's my sister, Nicole. I have to protect her now more than ever.

I just wanna make sure you're OK, that deep down,

- you're still my Waverly. - Totally.

I'm afraid the scary's just beginning.

Why is she haunting me?

Goooo...

Devils!!!

- Wow. - I didn't know if it was your thing.

Baby, that's...

- that's everybody's thing. - Yeah?

Yeah. The cross-eyed hooligans

at the Homecoming game are gonna love it.

No, silly.

No, this is a private show for you,

before you have to go off on patrol...

Nedley figures the streets

are gonna be awash with booze and urine

all weekend. So it's all hands on deck.

You guys need to get some more hands,

so that yours can stay right here. On me.

OK. Ready?

Time for one more cheer!

- Come on, boys, from here to there... - Girl, put on some underwear!

Wynonna! Hi...

Just...

passing through.

You guys can resume your panty-less roleplay.

You know what? I gotta get to work.

- You gonna come by? - Hanging from afar

while my lady works? That's my jam.

OK.

Yeah.

So, now that I know your whole situation,

should we institute a knickers- on-the-doorknob policy?

Since you're not using yours.

Wow. Rough night?

No, I just can't stop seeing it.

The gory ritual, the broken seal.

It's just, every time I close my eyes, it's the same nightmare.

Right, but nothing else has... happened, right?

Yet.

- I forgot you were head cheerleader. - And Prom Queen.

Prom. That's that thing people do

when they're not institutionalized at 14, right? That sounds nice.

Are you going to be this much fun all day?

Maybe I'll just skedaddle, you know,

leave you at the mercy of monsters, go on the lam.

- What is a lam, anyway? - Still no sign of Dolls, huh.

And I don't expect one.

You've polished the shaft hard enough.

You so rarely hear that.

I need to be ready. It's Homecoming.

I might have to protect the people who tortured me in high school.

- They weren't all bad. - No, they were champs. Every one.

All for this?

- I was such an idiot. - The time has come.

I come to claim what's mine.

I'll check his ID...

Bryce Cooper.

Star right wing of the '07 champs.

The last Purgatory High School team to not only win the cup,

but a single game. I'm gonna pass this off.

To Black Badge? This is straight up homicide. It's ours.

We've got people coming home from all over for the game.

If this news gets out, it'll be pandemonium.

Just examine the scene, then scrub it.

You mean cover it up?

Tomato, potato.

Earp?

- Restocking already? - They say liquor sells itself.

Bet the sight of you pourin' it don't hurt either.

How does our latest cocktail progress?

- It doesn't. - If you need more, I'll open another.

- Not more. Different. Yours isn't right. - Clock is ticking, Rosita.

What do you want me to do? We need something pure.

And more tequila.

- What can I get ya? Spritzer? - Whoa, you're...

Uh, just looking for the boss man.

So no spritzer then.

- Wynonna! - Excuse me?

Is Henry here or... ?

- Wynonna! BITCH!! - Hey, Mercedes.

Oh... working.

Who isn't?

So, how are you settling in?

How are Beth and Tucker?

My siblings are acting like I moved home

to ruin their Grey Gardens spiral into reclusive weirdoness.

- Which I did. - Every family tree's got its share of nuts.

Speaking of nuts.

When's the last time you had your hands on some?

Seriously? That's your pitch?

Perry Needs-to-get-an-actual- personality Crofte?

Like you never snuck into the locker room

- to sniff his jock strap. - Never into jocks.

Now straps...

How 'bout your broken heart? Yeah, I can sniff that from here.

It makes my nostrils sad.

Uh,

Perry was besties with that Bryce guy, right?

I don't know. Why are you asking me? Hey! Perry!

- Hey, shh! - Perry, hi! Come on over!

- Shut up. - Here he comes.

- Why? - You remember Wynonna?

Oh!

- The girl everyone was scared of. - Even you?

There were rumours, I guess 'cause your dad and sister...

You had a breakdown.

That didn't do it for you, huh?

- Try not to slide off your stool. - How long you around?

Uh, permanently.

Good talk, Per. I hate you.

So, what's her deal?

She looks, um... good.

She's doing good.

- Some kind of special detective. - For what?

Stuff the cops can't handle.

Any chance I can get her number?

What am I, human Tinder?

- There you are. - Here I be.

One of the guys from the '07 team.

Champs?

Hockey?

Wow. Never mind.

Somebody -or something- tore out his liver.

I wonder if it's connected to our symbol-smasher.

We also still have a dozen new demons

flooded the triangle to round up for Black Badge.

It's a rich tapestry of awful.

She seems super smart.

She's the best mixologist around.

Ooh... Bet she shakes in all the right places.

I love that you've got your own thing going on here,

but don't get distracted.

If you need me on a case, you have my undivided attention.

OK.

Look, I was up half the night. Buried alive in dread.

- Mm, no. - Abstaining, are we?

Two shots of tequila is not abstaining. It's called being a professional.

Back in my day, that meant something else entirely.

OK. I'm heading to work.

- See if Jeremy's made any progress. - Shall I accompany you?

Don't you need to babysit

your 'professional' mixologist?

So, this broken seal on the school chapel:

I've been able to puzzle certain designs of what looks to be

some kind of ancient symbol.

Soon I'll have enough to start cross-referencing it

with similar archaic patterns

- and look into what it might mean. - "Looks to be?"

"Soon?" "Might?" Pretty weak.

What about big dead Bryce?

Nicole pass on the evidence?

Oh, do you mean "forensics"?

Don't air quote, that's my thing.

And is Officer Haught always so passive-aggressive

when handing off cases to BBD?

None of my business, like everything else around here,

- yeah, got it. - Any connection to our symbol-smasher?

I don't see one.

But it's no simple murder either.

The victim's liver was harvested,

but he had no opioids in his system.

And no defensive wounds.

- It's like he let it happen. - Or he ripped it out himself.

- Where's Lucado? - Called away. On a personal matter.

Has, uh, Dolls reached out to you at all?

- Nice try, but snitches get stitches. - I'm not...

OK, never mind.

And next time, tell Officer Haught to please

close the victim's eyes. It's creepy.

He's staring right at it.

- Staring at what? - The trophy case.

Champs 2007 and all that.

Oh yeah, you are.

- Hello? - Wynonna? It's Perry.

Perry Crofte?

- I was just thinking about you. - See?

After all these years, we're finally in sync.

- Like a sorority's monthly cycles. - You're fun.

- I haven't had any fun in a long time. - OK...

Are you asking me out?

- One hundred percent. - Great.

We can chat.

- Uh, should I pick you up... - No!

No, I'll pick you up.

Same place? Out in the boonies?

Some things never change, huh?

I hope that's not true.

- Bye! - Bye.

Yep. Totally in sync.

Scarlett Tart? Or Pink Tease?

Flaming Ladybug? Wait, which skit are we doing?

The one where we debate which lipstick I should borrow.