Split

Order up!

Waitress...

Oh, waitress...

What's wrong?

-This glass is stained. Shelly, it's just water spots.

Do you sterilize your glassware here? - It's been washed.

- It looks like it's been washed a little... - Brenda, we came for breakfast, not for AIDS. Paper cups, please.

I have styrofoam. - That's fine.

- Styrofoam? That causes cancer. Wait a second. What else do you have.

We have straws.

Plastic or paper?

I asked for half decaffeinated coffee. Half decaffeinated and half regular.

That's not half decaffeinated. That's at least three-quarters regular.

Three-quarters? - I'm hypoglycemic.

Oh... - Shelly, just order some Postum.

Listen, I'm sure you didn't do this on purpose...

But there's a hairline crack in this plate, and that's one of the major reasons for the spread of botulism.

Botulism? - Botulism.

Can I help you? - I don't know, can you? Ha ha.

What can I get for you?

I don't believe it's on the menu...

What do you want? - Coffee. Do you have coffee?

Yes, we do. - Oh, splendid.

And what is this?

Oh! I don't know. It's so sanitary, so individually wrapped, it's so...

How do you say? So American.

I don't like.

No, I don't like individually wrapped packages of sweetness from Sweet 'N Low.

- There you go. Wish I had some Sweet 'N Low right now...

-God... Tough day, huh? Why don't you slow down?

-Take a breath. Maybe a little thought might prevent a lawsuit.

Not everyone's as nice as we are. - That's true

I guess I'm just lucky.

A blizzard falls from a clean paper cloud... -This guy stinks.

Onto the corrupt and greasy table top world.

A twirling, swirling, quasimorphic mass that leaves all beneath it...

Soft... and pure.

And what is this? It's another present from our antiseptic Santa!

It's long and thin...

Doesn't rattle... It's... It's...

Oh! It's a straw!

Why, whatever for? Unless...

Wait a minute! This isn't sugar!

They're trying to set me up!

Ow! Waitress! Waitress!

Oh, shit...

What? - Calm down.

Calm down, calm down.

You don't have to man-handle me. I know when I'm not wanted.

You big brute. I'm leaving.

It's OK, you big beast.

- Yeah, you think you're so cool, huh? Hey, fuck you pal!

Fuck you, you big faggot!

Fuck you!

Hey. What are you staring at, huh?

Don't you have anything better to do than follow me?

You guys are crazy. You're all fucking crazy!

Get away from me. Just leave me alone. Just... go!

Leave me alone. Just go away!

Look at this one. - What?

New troll.

Lovely... lovely.

- What's with those teeth? -They're ridiculous.

Yeah, but why's he wearing them? - Why does he talk to the sky?

- Do you think it's a disguise? - I think it's not worth worrying about.

Can I check him?

OK. Run a search. You never know.

All c--

-razy!

Look, just leave me alone.

Just go somewhere else. Leave me a--

Nothing. - Nothing in his file?

No file. -What?

No birth, school, prison, medical, army, employment, welfare... Nothing.

I've never seen a blank before. - I guess it happens. The guy's not too tied in, if you know what I mean.

Clean him. Tag him. Start a file.

Wild... no file. What a gonzo.

Hey. Hey, I need this. I need it.

What are you doing? You're making a big mess!

Hey! Don't worry about it. I'm a cop, OK? - Yeah, right.

This is disgusting.

Sick.

Whatever, dude!

We got a stationary on that new file. - Location?

Just a minute...

Broadway and 5th...

Alley behind the Burger Joy.

By a dumpster.

No...

In a dumpster.

In a dumpster... - Right?

That's how he slipped through the filing system.

Consumption data is a primary reference...

Eighty percent of current file data.

He's moving again. - Even the basest trolls have to eat.

So we pick up the easy ones through food stamp records.

The rest we get through standard outlet surveillance...

Food lines, restaurants, supermarkets. Everyone buys groceries so we pick them all up.

But not this one... He's pure.

He lives on nothing but garbage...

He sleeps in garbage, he wears garbage, so of course -- what does he eat?

In a word... Crap. Ciucc. Bullshit.

- No, no, no, you can't be afraid. I mean, people are always afraid.

- You've got to learn how to break out of the shell of what's expected.

- I mean, when I was young, I used to peek in at my parents' Cocktail parties, right?

- I couldn't believe that all these people got to the same room, and all they did...

Was stand and talk.

- ...but this past year, she's been concentrating on the gentrification of the inner city.

- I mean, why didn't they jump? Why didn't they play? Why didn't they do something?

The whole indigent displacement factor.

- Now, here we are. I mean, it's like a nightmare come true.

I was fascinated by your approach to the link between premenstrual syndrome and school prayer.

- We've got to do something! We've got to break out!

Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry. Here, let me get that for you. - Leave me alone.

Look, let me get some water... OK? - Leave it alone. Leave it alone!

Well who invited you, anyway? - Leave it alone!

No really, George, it's nothing to laugh at.

Look, it's an intestine!

Well, he's gone and he's got a bit of a reflection. It's, again, that schizophrenia...

That male/female-ness of this thing, now certainly it wouldn't go as...

Art? Never! But nevertheless, it shows a disturbed mind.

Well I think you may be right about that.

- ...in an objective, non-judgmental format. More on the lines of how Deb approached the incest problem.

Hi. - Hi.

I'm Deb. - Hello

I, uh, don't think that's possible. - I know how that stood you on your head.

- Have you noticed the beautiful sunsets we've been having lately?

Strange phenomena! It's caused by the uncommon persistence ofVeluvian Front, which, ordinarily...

would be pushed further south by the cooler subpolar influx, during this time of year.

What you say may be incomprehensible and boring, but that doesn't make it true.

What a bear.

Yes, it was difficult. But it's empowering, too.

To decimate the decaying pretense of social order.

You know, I think that's how it got started for me.

It was this peeling away, trying to get closer to my own personal power center.

I helped her peel. -The thing that annoys me about this one...

...is the fake transcendence. - Summation in one word is a great, resounding "trash."

Trash? Wait. Before you call it trash...

You've got to try and understand it, see?

The beast walks through a wild world...

Propelled by his own dreams.

Here, the spring. New life.

Here, the harvest. All he can see is his cold, rational exterior self.

But we can see him for what he really is -- the animal. The biological organism.

Closely related to the trees. See -- the veins, the branches.

You've got to be able to open your eyes, open your mind...

To be able to feel the painting, huh?

Trash? -Trash.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. Now look...

This is what's going on. I was just standing here, getting some food...

And I looked over and saw you and, I'm sorry, I could see that you were different and...

I just want to talk, that's all.

- I see it as a prophylactic on the shaft of patriarchal - Patriarcal.

Patriarchal tyranny.

I'll be in the car.

- He seems to have some difficulty between the push and pull of the community...

- And the natural surroundings of the... - What did you do, read the goddamn catalog?

- You know, it's incredible the impact we've had on each other. - I am? - Well, actually, I haven't had the opportunity to... - Well... OK, I guess.

Look... the man is the same shape as the tree.

-The man is cutting down the tree. The man is the tree.

I see it. - Well, sure! Once you can detach yourself...

We're all a fungus. Right?

You look pretty detached yourself. - Well, I was... but I'm back.

And I'm going to change things. - Oh, an idealist. You are detached.

Well, look at your paintings and tell me you're not an idealist.

What's this? - Well, it's a storyboard.

Wait a minute, this guy doesn't look like me.

- And besides, it's wrong. I don't say, "This guy doesn't pan right."

- No, no, no. It works like this. This guy doesn't... look like... me.

You're zooming in, see?

Pan right is a camera instruction. - Oh, yeah.

- And anyway, you don't have to get it exactly right. It's just a sketch.

- Which is a good thing. I mean, how would you feel as an actor, or an artist...

If every little thing you did and said was dictated by some stupid little...

...card?

You've got to break out! You've got to break out!

Break out!

Come on.

- This is weird. - What?

That new file. - Are you still on that?

Watch. Watch this regional.

What do you want? - Coffee. Do you have coffee?

Do you have coffee?

So American. I don't like.

I don't like.

Schizophrenia. - Yeah, but it's weird.

OK. Pick him Up.Vagrancy. Print him. Hold him. Shake him.

You know what bugs me about painting? I'll tell you what bugs me about painting.

You can take a canvas, throw it out a third story window, pour paint all over it...

pour Spaghetti on it, urinate on it, defecate on it...

jump out of a window and commit suicide on it, and it's been done.

Fifty times already!

What do you mean, it wasn't him?

He traded coats. He shook us.

OK. Circulate an all points bulletin. Send out a composite.

Tell them to watch for... bums in disguise.

I woke up late this morning

All alone herein my bed

I was feeling kind ofqueasy