Call the Midwife

This programme deals with Sexual Abuse.

The world to a happy child is full of open arms -

its mother's, its family's, its own...

Ooh!

Life gives, the child embraces its abundance,

its haphazard treats and generosities,

its scatter of good deeds.

There's no pattern to its gifts and kindnesses,

and there is no plan.

I'll see you all at clinic this afternoon.

And don't forget to remind your expectant mothers

to drink plenty of water in this hot weather.

I'm thinking of getting Colette a paddling pool.

Do you think she's too old for one?

We're not too old for one.

I can quite see us using it to cool down

in our bikinis in the back yard.

There's two more newly discharged mothers for you, Sister.

Mrs Barnes and her baby boy,

who's breast-feeding like a professional.

And Mrs Sohoye.

Her little girl's bottle-fed.

But she was slow to gain,

so we kept an eye on her for an extra week.

Two more for my little cohort.

I'm sorry, Nurse Crane, am I in your way?

I just saw little Peter Mackay's name.

I delivered him.

His mother was widowed not long after having him.

She was in a very bad way.

I had to refer his older sister to Dr Turner for malnutrition.

I hope there's nothing amiss.

He's simply one of many behind

with their routine health checks and vaccinations.

Oh, well, I'm glad it's nothing more serious.

Sadly, many mothers share your view.

And as we know, missing vaccinations can become very serious indeed.

I do wish you'd take as much care

with these accounts as you do with that stick.

- Morning. - Oh! Nurse Corrigan.

Now, there is rather a lot outstanding on your tab...

Which I've told you we do not allow!

To avoid awkward conversations exactly like this one.

COINS CLATTER

I might pick up

a few other things while I'm here.

Are you sure you're going to have enough left

to pay for all of this?

I'll start another tab, then, shall I?

You heard what she said.

Go on, Fred.

With Colette in foster care,

I just like to make our time together special.

SHE GIGGLES

POP MUSIC PLAYS

Mrs Mackay?

Mrs Mackay?

I'm so sorry.

I seem to have called inopportunely.

Talbot, not Mackay, as of this morning.

That's my husband, Joe.

So funny saying that again after all this time.

He's obviously wonderful with children.

Many congratulations to you both.

Who's this, then?

My name is Sister Veronica.

I'm a health visitor.

A health visitor?

Oh, er...

Well, why don't you come in and join us?

Do you fancy a pie or sausage roll?

I can't vouch for how healthy they are, mind.

That's extremely kind of you,

but I'll leave you to celebrate and call another time.

Wait, you can't leave without a piece of wedding cake.

It does look rather marvellous.

Nice big slice.

Plenty of marzipan.

You look like a woman who likes a bit of marzipan.

And I don't suppose you have to watch your figure.

The Almighty asks many things of religious sisters.

Calorie counting is not one of them.

Well...?

Mrs Lorna Pryce?

Nurse Corrigan will see you in the cubicle on the left.

Karen!

The last time I saw you, you were this big.

A textbook birth, as I recall.

Would you like to go and listen to a story?

Maybe your grandma can take you over to toy corner.

Oh, I want my mum in the cubicle with me, please.

Would you rather not have a cup of tea?

No, Nurse, we do everything together.

Come along. Let's go. There we go.

So, no nausea this time round, then?

No, but she's very tired.

My husband's away at sea, and Karen's been playing up.

You know what that is, don't you?

She knows it's going to be all change

when her new baby sister arrives.

You reckon this one's going to be a girl, too?

Not 'alf! I have a sixth sense about these things.

I'm telling you, Nurse, my mum's always right.

I hope my daughter says the same thing about me when she's your age.

What's the secret?

Indoctrination.

And lots of Neapolitan ice cream.

Is it not the height of arrogance

to paint oneself into a picture?

It is not godly.

Corners first, then sides, then we group by colour.

Sister Monica Joan, would you like to pick out

all the pieces with straight edges?

I am engaged in the appreciation of this slice of wedding cake.

I can smell the brandy in it from here.

That won't help you with your jigsaw.

Our wedding cake's being soaked in vintage Armagnac.

Matthew's father chose it from his cellar especially,

and took it to the patissier himself.

Did you ever consider making your own cake?

- Yes. - Surely not, lass.

And I realised at once that the enterprise was completely doomed.

I can't even boil an egg,

which does not sit well with marrying a man

who needs to entertain at a very high level.

Well, perhaps he can learn to cook!

He doesn't have to.

I've booked myself onto a Cordon Bleu cookery course

starting tomorrow.

Well, good for you!

I shall soon be giving Fanny Cradock quite a run for her money.

I can see you've got your work cut out.

So, I've never had the pleasure of a hangover,

but I can't imagine it makes housework seem appealing.

Where's Peter?

He's at nursery. Joe took him.

I wonder if you might bring him to my clinic tomorrow morning.

He's behind with his developmental health reviews.

They shouldn't take long.

And we can book in his overdue vaccinations at the same time.

Oh.

That should perk up a bit with a drink of water,

possibly an aspirin.

Flowers are like people, really.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You've got washing soaking.

I'm on my monthlies.

Not that it's any of your business!

I'm sorry.

I'll leave these here?

I'll see you tomorrow.

At clinic.

We'll get you settled over here, Mrs Pryce.

Nurse Corrigan has just changed all the linen.

SHE GROANS

I knew it wouldn't be long.

Oh, come on, Mum, stay with me.

Like last time.

Well, you didn't have Karen then.

I've got to look after her.

I don't think I can do it by myself.

You're not by yourself, Mrs Pryce.

Nurse Corrigan is going to wait on you hand, foot and finger.

Jam sandwich before we go, hmm?

Yes, please!

I'm afraid we don't allow food.

Oh!

Yeah. Yay!

Stop fiddling with the strawberries.

I need them for my mille-feuilles.

Mille-feuilles? That is my mother's speciality.

A thorough training in classic French gastronomy

is always a good investment of any woman's time.

Especially if it means she can make mille-feuilles!

Are there really 1,000 layers in the pastry?

Well, I'll find out when I make it.

Now, it says that they supply speciality ingredients,

but I've got to take a dozen eggs.

How am I going to manage a dozen eggs on the bus?

You won't have to, I'll drive you there.

I told you - get off my strawberries!

You might not be taking this seriously, but I am.

You know me, I'd be happy

with some corned beef hash and some gravy.

But if you really want to practise pulling out the stops,

why don't you just start by asking some friends

round to my place for dinner?

A dinner party?

That's actually quite a nice idea.

SHE PANTS AND GROANS

BELL RINGS

Bear down. Give it all you've got.

SHE GROANS

What's taking so long?

I think baby's far too comfortable in there.

Hello, ladies. Little one not keen on making an appearance?

She's been pushing for over an hour without any progress.

It's unusual to be so slow with a second baby.

I think baby may be asynclitic, Mrs Turner.

Can I ask for your opinion?