Another Woman

'If someone had asked me, when I reached my 50s, to assess my life,

'I'd have said I'd achieved a decent measure of fulfilment,

'both personally and professionally.

'Beyond that, I would say, "I don't choose to delve."

'Not that I was afraid of uncovering some dark side of my character.

'But I always feel, if something seems to be working, leave it alone.

'My name is Marion Post.

'I'm Director of Undergraduate Studies in Philosophy

'at a very fine women's college,

'although right now I'm on leave of absence to begin writing a book.

'My husband is a very accomplished physician, a cardiologist,

'who some years ago examined my heart,

'liked what he saw and proposed.

'It's the second marriage for both of us,

'and he brought to it a 16-year-old daughter

'who lives with his former wife but visits us frequently.

'She's a sweet girl who can be a little undisciplined at times,

'and I've tried to take her under my wing as best I can.

'I also have a married brother.

'My mother died recently, but my dad's still alive and healthy.

'Not much else to say, except normally I write at home,

'but construction noise next door has become so terrible,

'I subleased a one-room flat downtown as an office.

'A new book is always a very demanding project,

'and it requires that I really shut myself off

'from everything but the work.'

'As I settled down to work that first morning, a strange thing occurred.

Something about him just got to a deeper thing in me.

So this was my... my big experience with another man. My first one.

And I've never been able to get it out of my mind. I still have fantasies about it,

which are sort of bugging me.

What do you mean, "fantasies"?

Well, sometimes when I'm masturbating, or when I'm just...

Well, sometimes when I'm... when I'm working,

I find myself thinking about Giles.

And, uh, it's not that I'm not attracted to my wife any more.

I mean, I still am. I really am physically moved by her, and other women, but...

'While eavesdropping on the intimate revelations

'of a psychiatrist's office might be fascinating to some people,

'it was not exactly what I had in mind when I rented the place.'

Well, um...

I don't really have to use him like a piece of pornography...

'I worked hard all day, and the work came very slowly.

'Beginning a book is always the most difficult part for me,

'and by late afternoon I'd become tired.

'I lay my head down and closed my eyes, and I guess I dozed off.

'I don't know exactly how long I was asleep,

'but one of the pillows must have slipped down off the vent,

'because I gradually became aware again of a voice.

'It was a woman's voice, and it was such an anguished, heart-wrenching sound

'that I was totally arrested by its sadness.'

I just know that I woke up during the middle of the night.

And time passed, and there were strange shadows.

I began having troubling thoughts about my life.

Like there was something about it not real.

Full of deceptions.

That these... these deceptions

had become so... so many,

and so much a part of me now,

that I couldn't even tell who I really was.

And suddenly I began to perspire.

I sat up in bed with my heart just pounding.

And I looked at my husband next to me,

and it was as if he... he was a stranger.

And I turned on the light and I woke him up,

and I asked him to hold me.

And only after a long time, did I finally get my bearings.

But for one moment, earlier,

it was as if a curtain had parted,

and I could see myself clearly.

But I was afraid of what I saw.

And what I had to look forward to.

And I wondered...

I wondered about ending everything.

Please, please.

It is with a mixture of some joy, but mostly paralysing anxiety...

...that I hereby plunge into the big five-o.

I was, uh, I was fine till last week.

Then my son said to me, "Gee, Dad, don't your options begin running out?"

He's very funny, my son.

Marion, I was telling Lydia about your little adventure today.

- Oh, yes. - Those new buildings are built so thin.

- No, this is an old brownstone. - Well, there's no privacy left.

Last week, Lydia and I were at home. It was a Sunday morning...

- Mark... - This is true. And we started kissing...

- Mark! - And next thing we were on the floor...

- Are you crazy? He's drunk. - I was having her on the kitchen floor.

The living room floor, the living room floor.

- I gotta admit, it was a surprise. - Did it not happen that way?

So the door opens, and the superintendent, he has the key...

- Oh, no. - Barges in. Some kind of plumbing leak.

And we are in flagrante delicto.

You know what he does? He gets up, stark naked, and says "Mr Banducci,

"this is not the pipe that needs fixing."

That was quick, Ken. Could you have come up with anything that quick?

- No. - That was grace under pressure.

- Did he laugh? - Oh, no.

He turned very red and he crossed himself.

Sad.

One good thing about becoming 50. You don't have to do it again.

I know.

It's Laura. She had another fight with her mother, wants to sleep at our place.

It's not fair to Kathy.

Well, you tell her, cos once again I can't get through to my daughter.

I know. Just... hold on a minute.

Will you talk to Marion? OK.

Laura? This is not a good habit to get into.

You know your mother's high-strung. She's just gonna get frantic.

Well, it may not seem fair to you, but it's up to you to deal with her moods.

Well, if she can't, then you just have to rise above it.

OK? I'll see you at my father's tomorrow.

We'll talk about it then. OK.

Bye-bye.

She listens to you cos she looks up to you. Me, there's no communication.

It's just... It's a terrible situation.

Hey.

Take you back?

God, yeah.

Would you ever think of making love to me on the living room floor?

Would you want me to?

I don't know. Would you want to?

I don't know.

Actually, I don't think I see you as the hardwood floor type.

No?

Hey, Ken, what are you doing in there? Have you eaten?

Hello, Lydia. Look, you know my wife pretty good.

Would you say that she was the type to enjoy sex on the living room floor?

- Ken! - Oh, my God. You know, you guys...

- I'm only teasing. - That was really embarrassing before.

But not unpleasant if you don't get splinters.

'The following morning, I'd agreed to meet my sister-in-law.

'I waited as long as I could, but when she didn't show up I decided to leave.'

- Marion. I'm sorry. - Oh, hi.

- I got stuck in traffic. - Oh. The thing is, I'm really late now.

- Sorry. I just need a few minutes. - Well, I'm so behind schedule.

You said eight, and I waited, but I've gotta get going.

- Stupid bus wouldn't move. - Maybe some other time.

I've gotta be disciplined when I'm writing, Lynn,

otherwise I'm not gonna get it done in time.

I need to borrow some money.

You know, Paul and I are getting a divorce.

I heard. I'm sorry.

- Are you? - Why do you say it like that?

Because... I know you never really approved of me.

Why, I hardly know you.

It's not from my lack of trying.

Oh, look, I know this must all be very upsetting to you. But, you know...

I'm sorry.

If you needed money, how come Paul didn't ask me?

Well... he wouldn't.

Well, why not? He has before.

Marion... don't you know how he feels about you?

Sure. We've always been very close.

You're deluding yourself.

Of course, in a way he idolises you, but...

he also hates you.

I'm sorry, I don't accept that.

You're such a perceptive woman.

How can you not understand his feelings?

Look, um, I'm late, and... and, uh...

To tell you the truth, I make it a practice of never getting into these conversations.

They're fruitless, and people say things that they're sorry for later.

Why don't you just tell me how much you need and I'll discuss it with Ken. OK?

'The encounter with my sister-in-law had left me angry,

'but I refused to let it interfere with my work.

'I had a reasonably productive day, but as late afternoon approached,

'I began to feel anxious somehow.'

I really can't believe I'm saying this.

Lately, I've had odd feelings about my marriage.

It's as if it's been... coming apart.

And I've just been, in so many ways, denying it.

I must admit,

I have moments when I question whether I made the right choice.

I've told you there was someone else once.

The last time I saw him was several years ago,

before I was married, at a party.

Stop it. Just stop it. This is just crazy.

I'm marrying Ken, that's all there is to it.

- How can you marry Ken? You love me. - I... What? You're so conceited.

What makes you think that I love you?

I know. There are some things one knows just so surely as...

Well, I-I... I'm... I... You're wrong, and I'm sorry if I've misled you.

- It's you you're misleading. - I'm surprised at you.

I mean, Ken is your close friend.

I love everything about you, and I want you to come and live with me...

Stop it! Stop it. Right now.

Marion? We're toasting!

Just go away.

To Ken and Marion on their big day next week.

And to Marion's new book. German philosophy will never be the same.

Let's hope not.

You'll go on for ever. Heidegger definitely got what he deserved.

Hey, I'd like to propose a toast.

To good health and happiness.

- Aren't you gonna drink to Marion? - Yes, why not?

I drink to Marion with my eyes.

Smoothie. Old smoothie.

I was just returning some things.

You could stop staring.

I'm not a ghost.